Whenever someone posts on here, myself included, when complaining about situationships or something similar, WAY too many people are like "Well, I am sleeping with my friend! My situationship is great! We AGREED to be sleeping together while we find someone" or something like that.

If you AGREE to sleep with someone with no expectations, that's a sort of FWB. NOT A SITUATIONSHIP.

A situationship is defined by AMBIGUITY and one or both parties refusing to set terms of what things are. At least according to all the definitions I found online.

Regardless, if you are sleeping with someone and you BOTH AGREED that it's not serious, IT'S NOT THE SAME as someone who is pinning for something more with someone.

I (M25) refuse to engage in the nonsense happening on the apps so I want to meet women organically. The problem is I have grandpa hobbies and rarely meet women in my age group (hell rarely women that are single) in the spaces I tend to occupy. The only time I see women in my age group is at the gym but I ain’t trying to bother people working out….I highly doubt I’ll find “love” at a bar or club :/ sooo

TLDR: Any ideas for meeting women organically when you have “old people” hobbies (please don’t suggest gym, bars or clubs)

My usual approach to dating is, if I match with someone, i usually text a little bit on the on/off the app ( depending on whether he asks for my number prior to the date or not) and I end up meeting them if the conversation flows.

Usually if the first date goes well, I am used to continuing the connection via texts and memes and voice messages until he asks for a second date. And so on and so forth, until either we end up dating and getting into a relationship, or it fizzles out.

But recently I started dating someone off of Hinge. Within first few sentences he asked for my number and planned a date right off the bat. The date was decent, but I really couldn’t gauge his level of interest. After the date I didn’t receive a “it was great meeting you” text. So I didn’t read too much into it. And went about my life. Two days later he asked me out again for dinner and drinks! I told him I was pretty surprised that he asked me out again, and that I didn’t know if he was feeling it. He responded with a cheeky “ i felt like you definitely wanted to see me again”

Second date was great, and after the date he tried to extend the date by wanting to hangout and watch movies, and I refused thinking it would lead to something I wasn’t prepared for. Then crickets again.

3 days later after the second date, he asked if i would like to come over for a date night at his place and he would cook and we could watch movies! This new approach of not connecting at all post dates but definitely being present during the dates is something I have never done before. Is this normal in early dating?

The dinner date happened and then he planned the fourth and fifth date together, where he got tickets for a concert and another was just a lazy hangout at either of our places to watch movies! What am i missing? Like he likes me enough to keep hanging out with me. Wants to meet my friends, but doesn’t connect outside the dates at all. Any attempts of mine to keep the conversation flowing on a regular day gets met with just silence or a one liner.

I have briefly brought this up on our 4th date saying I feel like i am not emotionally connecting if we dont keep in touch. Then he was like really!? I asked him how do you feel? And he goes I am pretty invested.

Is this normal or am I just over analyzing something because I am used to inconsistent behavior?

In my 30s and never dated before. I am trying to remain positive but it is difficult when I've tried single mixers, dating apps, social events and cold approaching - improved my grooming and clothing - the result is still the same despite the different method - rejection.

It is frustrating especially as I've never had a date before - missing out on things. All I can do is focus on my hobbies.

I want to be hopeful but I feel at times downhearted because I am putting in a lot of effort. I am trying my best.

Its funny when you're getting to know someone, and everyone knows you're gonna have to plan some of the dates, its not just one person's job, but then some ppl I guess are dumbfounded when its their turn 😂 they'll change days multiple times, its never really sure what they wanna do, almost like they're trying to get you to plan it. And I think this is a good way to filter ppl out, because lets be realistic, no one is going to spend time or money planning a date if they're not interested, and you can gauge their level of interest based on how they plan.

Easy japaneasy

My boyfriend (20M) is such a wonderful person so far we have a really great relationship. We have known each other just shy of 3 months and have been together for like 2 weeks and told each other we like each other just over a month ago. I don't take commitment lightly, he's my first ever boyfriend so I am actually serious about him and would love to make it work. In the past I've had several guys interested in me but they seem to value me more for my body than who I am (or have just told me they're looking for casual sex which I'm not really interested in for the most part). My boyfriend is the opposite of pushy, I would say almost all the first steps we have taken have been suggested by me. To be clear, I never pressure him either and always ask direct clear consent and multiple times if he seems unsure, to the point where he said I should trust him to speak up about his boundaries and that if he seems unsure it's just because it's new and doesn't know what to expect but he reassures me he is genuinely keen. I really care about his comfort and he does mine.

After a 2 hour make out session the last week after a really good date we were both completely naked for the first time together and I said he can rub his penis against the my clit if he wants to try. He did for like 5 seconds but then got up and said had to go (he did and he was late for his train). I'd also asked him like a couple minutes before if he had brought condoms (he hadn't) and then if doing it unprotected was a bad idea. He said yeah we should definitely use protection and it should be more special. He's so right, I feel shame and I don't know what came over me being so impulsive (hormones/heat of the moment? I've also been diagnosed and am medicated for adhd). I do think it would be good to wait until November for me emotionally but it's like my body is so comfortable with him and attracted to him. A couple days before this we were talking about it and he said he is ready (but obviously not rushing for the first opportunity) and I said I'm probably a bit scared/not ready emotionally. It's weird because the first experience I had (almost 2 years ago) I had said no multiple times and then after it happened I wanted it to mean more/get reassurance he liked me, so I went back. The 2 other times were consensual where I explored my bisexuality and wanted to feel more in control of the situation, but I feel like I've ruined my brain by having sex that isn't primarily about emotional connection.

I feel a bit worried I come across too sexual at times (especially around my fertile window). I don't want him to think I'm overly sexual, especially since he is not like that.

Second thing is I also took a photo today in a tank top/underwear on my bed because I thought I looked hot and it was the first photo I would send to him but I don't know if I'm coming across as being too sexual.

I don't know if I'm being too lustful or if it's normal? What can help me be less like this then? Do I bring it up with him? And how?

In real life plenty of men flirt with me, give me double takes, and even tell I’m beautiful directly. But I get zero Hinge likes, rarely messages on Tinder. Flirting with new people while friends and acquaintances in my community are there watching totally freaks me out, so I’d rather meet someone in a way where we can be one-on-one and not surrounded by mutuals.

What do I do? What am I doing wrong? I’m an interesting person with hobbies and my life together, but online I’m clearly unattractive to men.

I'm a straight, 23-year-old woman. My problem is more than one specific occasion so bear with me as I try to explain it.

There happen to be men I admire and men whom admire me. Rarely, someone whom I like likes me back or vice versa. I take dating seriously. I am okay with unrequited love or situationships happening. What bothers me is that almost all of the men who show interest in me see me as the most sensible option (so they don't actually know/acknowledge/admire me). I don't think I am super easygoing and well-adjusting so that they think I am suitable for their lives and future plans. In contrast, I have serious expectations along with niche ones which no one has to meet if they don't want to. I am sure if they spend enough time with me they'll see they should have nothing to do with me when it comes to romance.

When I find men who are more like my type (as in lifestyle as well), I seem to be acting reckless for not choosing the ones who find me sensible (they promise a safe relationship which I know we'll both don't feel safe in). I think most men try to change me and when someone doesn't, my choice is looked down on for being childish.

Can you help me understand the situation and navigate it?

I feel like I'm going to get downvoted to hell because I'm a man so people will automatically assume I'm the problem but I don't know who else to ask. I really wish I could show you guys my profile and my messages without doxxing myself. I swear to god I'm doing nothing wrong.

I never text anything sexual, I never ask them out until at least 3 days of chatting. But sometimes women unmatch when I ask the most innocous questions like 'did you move here for work or school?', you know, ice-breaker shit that isn't in their bios. Do they unmatch because it's a boring question?

And sometimes they unmatch BEFORE I even send the first message. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong in that case.

I really try to be respectful and find a balance between flirting and gentleness, but I maybe get ONE girl out of 100 matches where it actually goes somewhere. Is it just because of the sheer number of options that women have?

Why do people sometimes give a second chance to someone who cheated on them, but won’t give a second chance a second date to someone who was simply a little unsure, nervous, or awkward on the first date? Is it really fair to judge someone’s potential based on one imperfect first impression, especially when there was no disrespect or bad intention involved?

So I’m a 31 year old guy, and I don’t drink. I have no problems with alcohol or anything, but drinking has never appealed to me all that much. I’ve never liked the taste and just don’t enjoy it.

I have zero problems with other people drinking. I’m more than happy to go to a bar and hang out with my friends who want to drink, but I’m going to order sparking water (or something else non alcoholic).

Admittedly, my dating experience is pretty limited. I have only had one girlfriend before, but I’m trying to put myself out there in hopes that there can be another girlfriend someday (lol).

I was recently trying to get to know someone better, and she suggested we go out for a “drink.” Okay. No problem. I did what I always do, and went to a bar with her and ordered what I normally ordered. We had a nice date, but she later told me that she thinks it’s weird that I don’t drink, and that she can’t see herself being with someone with “no interest in alcohol.”

I guess I’m starting to feel a bit like an alien. Why is this such a big deal? It’s not like I’ve told anyone else that they can’t drink. Why does this even matter?

I haven't dated anyone seriously in a while. I would like to find someone for a stable relationship or a good friend. I have talked with quite a few people, but I keep getting the feeling that they are my wasting time and that they are wasting their time as well. Why someone would choose to waste their time is unknown to me. It's been constant back and forward for hours. Then they disappear for a whole day, then send short responses. Or I'm having to carry most of the conversation, and no questions about me are asked. Can anyone explain to me what is going on? Is this what normal dating is like?

Never been physically intimidating or trained in a combat sport my whole life, I’m 20M. Wondering how much that would mitigate my dating life or how much women would potentially care about me not being able to provide a “protector” role in a romantic relationship. Personally, I think fighting is stupid but I understand the need to feel protected.

I'm sitting here at half 7 in the morning crying my fucking eyes out feeling like I want too put my bloody fist through a wall and just scream and cry.

A bit of context a female friend of mine that I've known for about 7-8 months now where in a online long distance relationship (I'm 21m she is 30f) we have known each other for months, I even have gone too see her (I'm British she is American), we use too do almost everything together every single day because we hit it off almost instantly the day we met.

She had just a few weeks before hand broke off from her ex and we had been dating since about the third week I knew her.

We met through gaming because I met her the day after she broke up with her ex and could tell instantly that she was upset.

I ended up sitting there that night cheering her up and taking her mind off of the breakup and then it kinda went from instant good frieinds too close friends too dating recently fast once we realised we was realised how well we bounced off each other.

We would spend every minute of our time together from the minute we woke up too the minute we went too sleep on call with each other.

All of a sudden two days ago she started going dry text on me and not wanting too call as much anymore and then today I found out why is because apparently she was growing kinda exhausted of spending so much time together even though literally the night before she was saying she loved every time we called and spend time together and I ended up talking too her about it.

She ended up telling me she just needed some space and didn't understand her feelings and just wanted some time as friends which I completely understand like that's fair enough.

When she was on the way home from work two days ago she was gonna call me and fall asleep together like we usually do because we both sleep super comfortably with each other.

She said she was going too the toilet and then would call back me sitting there for 2 hours then found out she had called with someone else and fell asleep on call with them without telling me so I'm sitting there like a fool waiting for her when she's asleep already talking too someone and this is the day before I found out she wanted space.

Long story short I got hit with (after months of commitment, plans, laughs, personal time together and intimate heart felt moments of vulnerability with each other) "i just don't think I have feelings for you" now that hurt but I'm like ok that's understandable we can just be friends.

Within those two days she was already talking too 5 different guys in her area and 1 also from Britain (when she said the main problem was distance and talking about how she is looking for someone too treat her right and saying she isn't rushing into anything like she did with her ex).

That was another blow too my heart because she has sat there for months always saying how Im always so sweet too her and saying how much she loves our time together and how I make her happy and sit and then get hit with the truth that it was never gonna be enough for her.

Now im sitting here balling my fucking eyes out and scratching at my skin and feeling like putting my fist through a wall and I don't even know why like I'm not a violent person and yet I just want too destroy everything and I was working on a fucking drawing for her and a food package of sweets and stuff for her too try and little surprises for her and now it's all just sitting there half finished and I feel like just destroying it all but I can't even bring myself too do that.

I don't even know why I feel this way right now and it's tearing me apart from the inside out and I don't know why or how too make it stop and it's just too much; thing is this isn't my first heartbreak but it's my first relationship in over 5 years and it's all just came crashing and burning down on my head and I don't know what too do I just feel like crying myself too sleep and not doing anything and I can't even talk too my other friend that I've known for years because she is now ghosting me, all because I asked her if it would be alright if we could play another day which she has never had a problem with before until I started dating this girl.

So now I'm sitting here all alone and not got anyone too talk too alone and isolated with my heart left broken and feeling like shit and not knowing why.

It's been years simce I've been in a relationship. Since then was diagnosed with a mental illness. 6 years of weekly therapy finally think I have that under control. Meds made me gain 200lbs. Lost 160 of it... finally think I git that under control. Found myself drinking and doing drugs to much. Went to rehab. Go to meetings 6 months clean. Solved that one for now. Wasn't really happy at my job because I wfh and felt lonely all the time among other things. They offered 18 months severence i left. Didn't have alot of friends so made a whole bunch. Didn't have hobbies, now I do.

I still don't think i'm ready for a relationship, i am always working on myself though at what point is one ready?

What I wanna know is what are the non negotiables when you're dating someone?

And can you be friends with a girl with no romantic expectation or is there always an expectation?

Hi,

Basically, I’ve been dating this guy (both in our early 30s) for 4 months now. Became official two months in, although we’ve been exclusively dating since the beginning.

Anyway, we started off very strong. Had a great time together, enjoyed each other’s company a lot. Became infatuated with one another. Lots of common interests and shared goals/values. About a month in, he confessed his feelings for me, saying ”I’m starting to fall for you already”. He was consistent, and he was serious. He made it very clear. Less than two months into dating, he started talking about wanting to make this official. So a little while later we did.

Anyway, a little more than a month goes by since becoming official, and he starts to feel anxious about this relationship. He says some of it has to do with the pressure of meeting my needs, and on top of that he’s also started thinking that maybe his feelings aren’t as deep as they should be by now.

I’m just so confused. I would understand if the attraction/excitement wasn’t there from the beginning, but to ”lose feelings” or to deem them not deep enough after being so infatuated (and this quickly) just puzzles me so much. How can someone even deem their feelings not deep enough 3 months into knowing them? I feel you’re often only starting to build/develop that deeper intimacy then. But maybe I’m just wired differently?

Perhaps I should add, that he had been wondering if he has some commitment issues even before we met. Said that he might start to feel anxious/overwhelmed in relationships, but the way he phrased it, it was mostly about meeting someone’s needs (which is a contributing factor in my case too). Also, we both suspect he might be an avoidant.

My past two relationships had not-so-fun endings.

My (29M) second to last one ended on our anniversary. We exchanged gifts, then she broke up with me and I was shocked. I got back out there a few months later, met a great woman, it progressed well, she met my family, then she dumped me via text an hour after I was just with her and we had even gotten intimate that day.

I'm taking time to myself before I get back out there as those two breakups have definitely been a hit to my confidence and made me realize I over-invest. I am currently in therapy too. I'm a giver at heart, I don't want to change that but I also don't want to be super guarded and emotionally unavailable.

I want advice on finding the middle ground from those who don't hesitate to show interest and are forward with their intentions.

One of my friends in my group put out a survey recently for people to fill out, so he can potentially match them with their special someone. I went ahead and filled out the survey, and I was one of only two guys selected to move forward to meet a special lady who I could possibly be with! I love the organic way this occurred and my friend had the best idea setting things up this way. As of now, the date is scheduled for next month since my friend is doing the dates then.

I was happy to have been picked and hope things go well!

I’m an attractive guy 31 5’8 160 pounds 10% body fat. Good skin often get told I look 22. I’ve matches with women who are under my league on tinder and think whatever I’ll give her a chance. But 3 times now they want to “talk” for a full week before ever planing a date and when the date comes they get silent. Sometimes days later lying about something coming up. Why do they do this

Me

https://imgur.com/a/WsAG7Sq

Went on a bumble date about a month after dumping my ex for finding out he cheated on me. Had to rip off the band aid and get back out there.

I live in Vegas send there’s lots of visitors looking for someone to hang out with. I met this guy at his (very nice) resort and we had plans to get lunch and go to the pool but we enjoyed it so much we hung out all weekend. It was really nice. He comes to Vegas a few times a year so if I’m still single I’d hang out again next time. I was on cloud nine.

Then he went back home and I googled him, not a super common name but didn’t see on social media. Then I googled “(his name) mugshot” and found an article where he had gone to prison for 5 years for scamming old people 😭 I am not 100% sure that that it is him but the age, city, and relatively uncommon name make me believe it is.

Now I’m not perfect and have gone to jail a few times for stupid decisions rooted in alcohol, so it feels hypocritical of me to immediately consider this a dealbreaker but scamming old people feels so slimy and gross. It was a decade ago. People change. He owns his own business now and seems legit. We had a good time. Do I hang again? Do people change? Is this really the best I can do in the dating pool? And yet I feel the same about myself- a loser on paper but I am a good person. At least that’s what I tell myself. Am I though? Or am I just the sum of all my bad decisions reduced to a walking dealbreaker forever?

Why does dating have to trigger an existential crisis lol

I know there’s lots of guys out there so I could just block and move on, but I truly enjoyed his company. It was so effortless, and we just clicked. But maybe it’s all a scam.

I spent my early dating years trying way too hard - overthinking what to say, planning dates like job interviews, pretending to be into stuff just because she was. At some point I got tired of performing and just started showing up as myself. Said what I actually thought, suggested places I actually liked, stopped filtering everything through "will this impress her." Weirdly enough that's when things started clicking. Was there a specific moment for you guys where you dropped the act and just went in as yourself? Did it change the type of people you attracted?

I've been on dating app for a while now, I've seen a lot of interesting profiles and almost nothing shocks me anymore, but sometimes, I don't even know what to say. Like, it's just sooooo weird out there.

How can you put pictures of a banana strapped with duct tape as 2 of your 3 pictures and the third one is a flame and under "perks of dating me", your answer is "you will love it"

That's all this person has on their profile. I mean EVEN if all you are looking for is sex, shouldn't you put a bit of an effort?!!! Wouldn't I want to see who I want to have casual sex with?!!

Do people like these actually get dates or matches??? Or I'm just stressing for nothing and they are just bots??😂😂

What's the weirdest profile you've ever seen?

Hi all I have had thinning hair for a while and finally accepted i needed to shave it off im still unsure if it even looks better or worse

I have been the new me for 2 weeks now and uploaded new profile pictures on these dating apps I have multiple dating apps and have had 0 likes matches or messages since shaving it all off

Its been so tough for me mentally to go thru this and now the lack of female attention confirms it for me I look stupid and ugly its depressing has anyone else been in a similar situation

What can I do?