r/confidence • u/Odd-Direction-992 • 3d ago
How to be sound more confident when I’m speaking in a public setting?
I’m a 19 y/old who recently moved to the states 2 years ago. Don’t know anyone that well and I have social anxiety. I can speak okay but after starting college, I realized that my public speaking skills are way behind others. My classmates are able to articulate their thoughts so well and introduce themselves really professionally WHILST showing off their personality. I cannot do that. If I ever need to present or introduce myself to everyone, I end up being really monotonous. My eyes become hollow and my shoulders get tense. Voice also gets shaky and I feel less confident. Idk how to present in front of everyone with more life in my presentation? I would love some advice on how I could do better to seem more confident and be more myself during presentations!!
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u/Peeky_Rules 3d ago
Tell me more about your personality (what you want to come thru in public speaking).
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u/Posti 2d ago edited 2d ago
Don’t think about presentations as talking to an audience, but sharing an idea you have. That idea should be something you are interested in, or at least framed in a way that is interesting to you. This is how your personality comes out. Knowing your audience is important, but focus on getting excited about your idea first.
The other thing is you need practice. It took me 5 or so presentations at Toastmasters to get comfortable in front of a crowd, see if there’s any clubs in your area if you’re serious about improving.
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u/ExpressYouTeam 2d ago
One thing I would change is the goal from “I need to look confident” to “I want people to understand one thing about me.”
Trying to monitor your voice, eyes, shoulders, personality, accent, and wording all at once can make you even more tense.
For introductions, instead of memorizing every sentence, memorize a simple structure:
Who I am -> what I do -> something personal
For example:
“Hi, I’m Alex. I’m a first-year engineering student, and I moved to the US about two years ago. I’ve always been interested in figuring out how things work, so engineering felt like a natural direction for me. Outside of school, I’m really into basketball and photography.”
You don’t need to say that word for word. Just remember the three pieces.
That usually sounds more natural because you’re recalling ideas instead of performing a script.
A few other things that helped me with delivery:
Slow down more than feels necessary.
Nervousness makes us speak faster, so what feels unusually slow to you may sound completely normal to everyone else.
Finish the sentence before thinking about the next one.
Give yourself a tiny pause. Silence feels much longer to the speaker than it does to the audience.
Look at individual people, not “the audience.”
Say one thought to one person, then naturally move your attention somewhere else.
Let your hands move naturally.
Trying to keep your entire body perfectly still can make you look and feel more tense.
And if your voice shakes, keep talking.
A shaky sentence that communicates your point is still a successful sentence.
For sounding less monotonous, try emphasizing the words you actually care about rather than artificially changing your voice.
For example:
“I moved to the US two years ago, and starting college has been a completely new experience for me.”
The meaning naturally tells you where some emphasis belongs.
You can also practice the same introduction three different ways instead of rehearsing one perfect version. That teaches your brain the ideas rather than the exact script.
And try not to compare your inside experience with your classmates’ outside appearance. Someone who looks completely comfortable may have practiced that introduction twenty times beforehand.
Confidence in public speaking does not always mean feeling calm.
Sometimes it just means being nervous and continuing anyway.
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u/hestia-listens AI Helper 3d ago
You probably sound less awkward than you feel. Anxiety can make every shake or pause seem huge, while most people barely notice. Try choosing one friendly face in the room and speaking to that person for a sentence, then look at someone else. Also, let yourself pause between ideas. A calm pause sounds more confident than rushing, and it gives your personality room to come through.