Ever been passed to for a promotion?

[u/Quaker_Oaf_1023]

Title edit: Ever been passed *up for a promotion?

I’ve been working at a company for 5+ years in the same role and finally, FINALLY, a position that would be one step up from my current one opened up. I had been expressing my desire to move up to my manager for a while, and she encouraged me to apply when the time came. It was nothing but good vibes during my two rounds of interviews (with her and the head of the department). Then, I was told this past Thurs that I didn’t get the promotion. I have been essentially training 5 years for that role and checked off all the boxes, yet I still didn’t get it. Now, I get to learn in the coming days who DID get it, and I’m supposed to act happy for this person, or like I’m not bitter? I’m able to fake it til I make it like the best of them, but I’m only human.

This was really the nail in the coffin as far as my time at this company goes. Anyone else been through this who can share advice how I can “put on a happy face” through gritted teeth so I don’t burn any bridges while looking for my next gig?

[u/twofourfourthree]

Be professional and conduct yourself with grace. People are watching to see how you react.

If you are going to start looking around do not tell anyone at the office. That information may be used against you.

Sorry about the promotion. It sucks because you allow yourself to dream about the future and then it’s snatched away.

[u/DAWG13610]

First, you don’t know the qualifications of who got. So be patient and see. I was passed over 4 times. In all cases I was better qualified. But at some point that doesn’t matter. I was the guy who was nice to have along. Always made the company money but never gulped the corporate kool-aid. In the end my integrity was more important than the promotion. I still made a good living $225k, my new bosses were smart enough to leave me alone but it was grating at times. You just learn to live with it.

[u/Paid-Not-Payed-Bot-1]

Who told you that you’re supposed to be happy for the person who accepted the job?

What if the person who accepted the job was doing that job for another company for 35 years? How do you compare to him or her?

You don’t need to put on any kind of face. You get paid to do a job. Either stay and do that job or leave. Those are your choices unless you’re an indentured servant.

[u/IllustriousValue9907]

Sorry this happened to you. Its extremely difficult to deal with and be courteous and professional. But you need to act like nothing wrong while you look for new job.

I have also been in same boat as you. I work for a small family owned business. I been here a long time, unfortunately the business didn't expand for another senior management position to open up, and no one would retire soon enough. We'll after a position in senior management opend up due to unforeseen early retirement. They decide to promote one of my co-workers to that position after training me for over 2 years. Then our projects expanded, and they hired an outside hire for a second position in senior management.

Bypassing me for a second time in less then a year. I plan on finishing out my last project, using up as much PTO as I can. Before I start my new job quest. I will focus on my personal growth, and better my self at my career.

Sadly both men are incompetent at there position and treated more like a social gathering when they visit projects. But that's no longer my problem, hopefully I will.have new home later this year or after the new year.

[u/TeacakeTechnician]

I feel your pain. Purely in case the information can help your job search, I would push for feedback on why you didnt get your promotion - so they can't just patronise you with platitudes- ask how they recommend you develop yourself as that might give you more meaningful feedback.

From a sanity check perspective, I have worked in many workplaces over the years when the wrong person has clearly been promoted - so much is about faces fitting - don't waste head-space over-thinking it.

This is one workplace - the world is a big place - treat this as a cosmic kick that it's time to get out and be open-minded about what's next. Give yourself a deadline and consider contracting and other lateral moves.

[u/ericbythebay]

I have and I’ve been in the exact same situation that you’ve been in. The company is telling you what it thinks of your ability and how much it cares about your career development. Personally, I would start looking for work elsewhere.

[u/One-Cucumber1131 → u/ericbythebay]

That’s a tough realization to come to. It makes you rethink your value at the company when they don't recognize your efforts.

[u/No-Author-2358]

Over the years, in addition to saying you want a promotion, have you been learning everything you can about what that role does?

Why do you think the other person got the gig? Personality, perhaps?

[u/Patient-Angle-7075]

Never leave an employer or boss on bad terms, if possible.

I was an intern working at a small manufacturing company. I was only getting $12/hr and they wouldn't allow me to work more than 30hrs per week, and I was effectively doing an industrial engineering role. I was working my butt off hoping to get a slightly higher pay and eventually a full time job.

Unfortunately my employers were cheap-asses and decided it would be more cost effective for them to just spend the money hiring new outside employees.

I was very fed up after a year of watching them under pay me and hire new employees over me, plus some soft job "promises" that they backed out of.

I decided to do some personal work (because I was so frustrated with my "work-work") on the job and they called me out on it. I did apologize, but I decided to double down by asking for a raise and tell them that I was frustrated with the work situation.

I really expected them to give me a minor raise at least but they basically just told me to clear out my desk. I really underestimated their "stupidity" or pettyness, and it really made me realize how replacable everyone is (end employers often don't make rational decisions based on what will be most profitable).

They came back and requested me to come back for my last 2wks, to which I responded that we didn't have a two weeks clause in the contract and that it wasn't worth it to me.

I think they really took it personally that I wouldn't work the last two weeks and effectively I left on bad terms because of that.

And even though I made the right choice leaving that company when I did, I still regret not leaving on good terms and I regret not expressing more gratitude for the job that I had.

And there are times that I needed a job but I couldn't go back to that job because I left on bad terms.

[u/Poonish_]

They'll dangle the carrot in front of you so you'll stay 5 years to do the work. Time to start applying and interviewing elsewhere, because if they didn't respect you now, they won't respect you later.