Tw: mental health, mention of sh and suicidal thoughts
Let me just preface by saying that English isn't my first language, so sorry in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes.
Just wanted to rant/share.
As the title states, i quit my job. Worked at that restaurant for almost 9 months, and today is my last shift. It's a fairly busy place, most of the orders go through the waiters, only the TA costumers are the barista's responsibility, which was perfect for me since I'm autistic and struggle to handle too many people, but LOVE making coffee and other beverages. However, it's always loud, constant rushes, a boss that is very pushy and demanding, closings that, if done thoroughly, take 2-2.5 hours.My boss kept scheduling me for more shifts that i signed up for, etc... Also, during the summer we had a few specials, including one event with 500 customers, most of them TA. All of it started to weigh on me and caused me to fully burn out. I stopped functioning other than going to work, at home I just slept and cried. My panic attacks got worse, I relapsed into SH, suicidal thoughts became a daily accurance. I tried, really (regardless of what my boss claims) to put myself together, and to stay. But i couldn't. Last week, after a serious breakdown at work, i quit on the spot. Wanted to never come back, but apparently I legally owe my boss at least a week notice. And just like that, today is my last shift.
Ig I am relieved, now I'll finally have a break. But also I'm terrified of the whole thing, I know today my boss will scold me for leaving, i know I won't be able to pay rent if I don't find a job in the next week or two, and besides that I'm not great with my routine changing...
I will miss the bar, and my coworkers - the best ones I've ever had, will be sad about it for some time. But i had no other choice but to walk away, i couldn't handle it anymore. Maybe I'm making a mistake, maybe I can't do better, maybe I did not try hard enough. I don't know anymore, I'm so mentally exhausted and scared of the future.
Thank you for reading, appreciate that
Edit - the TW