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u/casualplants 4d ago
They…they’re meant to feel different? 🥹
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u/aminionreasons 4d ago
Yeah.. 🥹🫂
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u/blankasair 2d ago
How does it feel? I bet it’s like relief that you did something and scolding yourself that you could have done it much earlier if you got yourself to do it
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u/Wlund 2d ago
God, yeah the eternal limbo of: that wasn't so hard, why didn't I just do it sooner? And Why the fuck didn't I do it sooner, I'm such a pos, everyone's going to hate me and I'm totally like the absolute worst ™️ person ever, and rarely I should actually do this more often it feels nice,
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u/ASatyros i Will elaborate (Threat). 3d ago
I once finished a project that took me 5 years and one afternoon to complete.
I've got solid 30 seconds of satisfaction, so there is that.
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u/OkAd1797 3d ago
What was the project?
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u/ASatyros i Will elaborate (Threat). 3d ago
Putting 6 HDD into one case and running unraid on it instead of having them in external shells. Now serves as a backup for my PC drives.
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u/Sisnaajini 3d ago
I still have a surround sound system and need to network my router to my modem. The worst part is I have everything needed to complete the project and it just sits there.... menacingly....
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u/Electrical_Hunter597 2d ago
It's not for everyone, but when stuff like this happens to me, I'll wallow in it for an hour then take the fattest fucking rip off my bong possible, then at least half the task gets done before I burn out then the process repeats
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u/ASatyros i Will elaborate (Threat). 3d ago
Every project needs 1 week to 5-10 years of warming up and then one afternoon or night, it's just how it is.
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u/SeasonPositive6771 3d ago
I don't even get the sense of relief.
I get the urgency of other unfinished tasks and guilt about how I should have done the completed task better or faster.
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u/Miskatonic_Scholar 3d ago
This is the first time in my life where I realized these are meant to be two different things...ef me.
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u/Individual_Lock_406 3d ago
I have felt it a handful of times (literally can count one hand 💔) it literally felt like nirvana, I could have died then and been fine bc that sensation was like crack cocaine.
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u/Flussschlauch 4d ago
best I can do is make you feel shitty about not doing it better or faster
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u/McHagrid20 4d ago
I'm relieved that I finally took out the trash, I deserve to order junk food now
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u/aminionreasons 4d ago
Definitely, get a nice yummy shawarma! 🌯 (Or your favorite meal if you don't feel like shawarma!)
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u/Ok-Bed6354 3d ago edited 2d ago
I was once asked in an interview what my greatest accomplishment was, and literally could not think of a single time in my life.
I am pathologically obligated to succeed at my endeavors. So there is only relief at completing a task or shame at failure to complete a task….
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u/home-for-good 2d ago edited 2d ago
Yes, any praise for what others perceive as an accomplishment is somehow immediately filed in my brain as if I’m being rewarded for just existing (ie doing what is expected of me) and therefore cannot be valued anymore than completing any other daily obligation. I am somehow very accomplished but still live with a state of perpetual self doubt, subconsciously convinced I’ve just accidented my way into my life and career and one day they’re going to catch me. Accomplishment comes with the relief of buying more time with the lie, not with a sense of pride in my ability. Damn brain
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u/Timely-Helicopter244 4d ago
My sense of accomplishment comes when I've managed to do something absolutely perfectly the first. That or I finally figure out the right technique to doing a task as closeto perfectly as possible.
Example: I'm an engineer who submits for permitting on various projects. Almost every single permit you submit for comes back with comments to be addressed. It's expected, it's planned for and built into the project schedule. There have been a few times over the years where I've received approval without getting any comments back. That high will last the whole day if not the whole week!
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u/yesimfinewhyyouask 3d ago
Years ago i helped a lady carry a baby stroller down the stairs. I think my brain glitched that day and gave me some extra, because the moment she smiled and said “thank you” (+5 minutes after) it felt like someone tenderly injected a syringe of warm melting honey in my chest. If normal people out there have it that easy… holy shit.
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u/Timely-Helicopter244 3d ago
I get that sometimes. There is something about doing very little to help someone who really needs it that just makes me feel good. I will without hesitation help someone where the cost to me is minimal, but the benefit to them is more substantial.
Like I'll give a coworker a ride to pick up their car when it's in the shop if I have the time. They know the question is if I have time, not if I'm willing to do it. It's a couple minutes out of my way, but a massive headache for them to figure it out otherwise. Even with uber or the dealership shuttle when that's possible, those take so much longer and are much less reliable.
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u/mengwall 3d ago
I cannot describe the true shock I felt when I learned that normal people feel a small and growing sense of accomplishment throughout doing the task, and a larger amount at the end of most tasks. I just kept asking my husband over and over again if that was really true and every time he told me it was.
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u/MersoNocte 3d ago
This isn’t directly related, but I’ve come to believe that this is the reason weed makes me productive. I like to smoke or pop an edible and do some arts/crafts. It can’t take away my motivation cause I don’t have any. And since I’m always having to make myself do stuff for no reward, the weed actually makes it easier to be productive.
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u/Dirty-Ant 4d ago
It did always seem weird to me to see people literally jumping from joy or screaming in celebration. Best I could do is just feeling proud of myself or getting hyper fixated on something.
ADHD explains a lot
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u/Plausibl3 4d ago
Trying to have a no splurge September to cut back on buying myself ‘rewards’ because there isn’t an innate feeling of accomplishment.
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u/SomeCuteBunny 3d ago
I feel really accomplished when I work on or finish something I'm passionate about, like programming (my job) and studies in uni.
I also love some video games that involve resource/people management, reaching goals, progressing, strategic thinking, so I feel accomplished when playing those.
But I don't have a feeling of accomplishment for small things unrelated to those, like house chores.
And because big things are worked on through small tasks, and I accomplished some big ones, now I often stop pursuing new big goals because of this. Even though, I understand that I need to keep progressing and I want to do it.
Also, I'd spend lots of time choosing books, games and workbooks I'd want to read/play/go through, but then I'd buy them and don't do anything.
I have motivation, logical reasoning and see the benefits of those initially, but then I just stop because it either loses its purpose in my head, or I feel too tired to do it after work or on weekends, even if I want to and make plans to do it during a day.
I think it's related to the lack of the accomplishment feeling.
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u/yesimfinewhyyouask 3d ago
Well you have some highs at least, presumably somewhat long lasting even
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u/SomeCuteBunny 3d ago
Yeah, that's true. I didn't care for anything last summer, but then started an antidepressant and now I feel better.
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u/Asquirrelinspace 3d ago
Whenever I finished some project or homework as a kid (through tremendous effort from myself and from my dad getting me to actually do it), he would ask me "doesn't it feel good now that you finished it?". And I just learned to say yes because "no, I'm just glad it's over" wasn't a good answer
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u/aminionreasons 3d ago
Makes sense yeah! Btw love your username xD also side question, when do you (ever in life) feel or have last felt that feeling (like "AHHHH FINALLY FEELS SO GOOD I FINALLY DID IT") your dad was talking about? Do we NDs have any "type" or "condition" of tasks or category that lets us feel that way? Where's the catch? Why don't we find things that feel that way 😭
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u/Asquirrelinspace 3d ago
Thank you about my name! Do you pronounce yours with five syllables or six?
It's hard to say honestly. I've certainly felt a very strong sense of relief, especially when it's a big scary thing that I don't have to worry about anymore. But from what I've heard, accomplishment is something different, like joy?
When I graduated college, I felt something, but it was more like an intense feeling of calm now that I wasn't stressing about anything at the moment (I already had my next thing lined up so I didn't have to worry about the future yet).
When I'm working on something that I actually enjoy, I feel excitement or happiness. Someone else on this thread mentioned NTs feeling a building sense of accomplishment throughout a task, so maybe that's it? On the other hand, it could just be that I'm happy because I'm doing something I like. It doesn't really happen when it's something I don't like.
Ok I think I do actually have something. Most recently I was completing the pantheons (boss rushes) in Hollow Knight, and when I beat one I would celebrate. Like take a screenshot and send a "let's go!" message to my sibling. So I guess I do feel accomplishment sometimes. I think it has to be something tangible and actually complete (not like finishing a bout of paperwork that you know you'll have to do again at some point), and something that I enjoy
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u/yesimfinewhyyouask 4d ago
And then we make a meme about it, and everyones like haha that’s me, crylaugh emoji, neurotypicals go huh thats my weird cousin. But think on it a bit and… it’s just incredibly sad, its no way to live.
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u/Mama_Bear83 3d ago
This is one of the examples I give to people to explain ADHD. It’s like normal people do the dishes, get a hit of dopamine and feel good. Whereas someone with ADHD would have to clean the whole house to get the same feeling. It’s why my Stepdad is never satisfied with anything. Even big accomplishments are like “but now we need 100!” of whatever. It’s what has driven humanity forward so thats not nothing but it can absolutely feel like hell when modern life is all about little bullshit tasks that all add up and then crush you if you fall behind.
Some things I find infinitely ironic are the amount of little tasks I had to do to get medicated and then have to do to continue to be medicated is insane to ask of someone with ADHD!
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u/PneumaEmergent 3d ago
*finally gets a task done
ADHD brain:
"Best I can do is a burst of awareness of all the other tasks that you've been procrastinating on.....followed by feeling more overwhelmed then you were before completing this one task"
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u/sjokkendesjaak 3d ago
My dad often asks me if I feel acokpushe now I finnalt finished the task and when I say no not at all he always looks at me like I'm some fucking alien or something
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u/DrDingsGaster Tried focusing on one task and all I got was confused :( 3d ago
I don't even get that! I get the dread and bullshit from knowing I have to do it all over again soon.
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u/TheRedDynamo 3d ago
Work ethic?: Nonono
Relief that you finished a task and didn't get fired: Yesyesyes
(Even though you're actually doing really well)
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u/doingtheunstuckk 3d ago
I wish I always at least felt relief. Sometimes not even that. Just exhaustion and a low mood. Or the ever present anxiety that I forgot to do something else or did something wrong that I just can’t quite put my finger on.
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u/ValorantLorePulse16 3d ago
I was diagnosed with AuDHD at 16 and only started researching it this year (It's been quite a few years), and I cannot explain to you how many things suddenly made sense to me. My overdependency on screens and social media, my need for validation, my overstimulation, my understimulation, why I'm so messy and lose things easily, why I'm an absolute geek on anything that actually interests me, etc. This is pretty on par.
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u/EmotionalOrdinary486 3d ago
Ive tried to explain exactly this to people so many times and no one believes me when I say I genuinely never feel a sense of accomplishment from doing things 😭
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u/3-brain_cells 3d ago
My depressed ass:
Relief? Idk man it's done i guess? So how about we don't feel jack shit about it?
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u/ZeroXeroZyro 3d ago
For me I'm not even sure it's relief. It's more like Patrick pushing Bikini Bottom somewhere else
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u/TheDungeonCrawler 3d ago
Felt this this week when I got caught up on my paperwork. I couldn't even sleep well prior. All I got for my troubles was the gradual ebbing away of a deep sense of dread.
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u/Fearless_Garden6435 3d ago
The sense of accomplishment comes for 2 seconds and then you realize you forgot something in the task and have to go back, and then you feel stupid for not remembering it the first time.
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u/Brilliant-Road-7545 3d ago
I feel this. I’ve felt it my entire life
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u/yesimfinewhyyouask 3d ago
Why don’t we look for medication?
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u/Brilliant-Road-7545 3d ago
Waiting lists are my enemy
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u/KaiPRoberts 3d ago
Never sought a diagnosis. Is there seriously a wait list? F that if there is. Rawdoggin' for life (...if I even have it)
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u/Brilliant-Road-7545 3d ago
I’m in the UK. It’s almost impossible to get an official diagnosis on the NHS due to the waiting list. I could go private, but that would need money, which I’d need a better job to get, that only being on meds could probably get me.
Crap.•
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u/yesimfinewhyyouask 3d ago
I don’t know how this works, can’t you just buy some pills without prescription? Are adhd meds restricted that way? If you think doctors need to determine the exact one for you, well i’d risk it and ask reddit for something commonly used. Or NHS will provide pills for free?
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u/Brilliant-Road-7545 3d ago
NHS Medication is free in Scotland but I have to jump through all their hoops to get them. That’s the free option though, as I mentioned I could go private but it’s pricey. Either way I need an official diagnosis before I can get anything, even though I’m the textbook example of inattentive adhd.
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u/Iwantmoretime 3d ago
It's 12:30am. I'm in bed trying to sleep. I've got two options:
Roadmap how I'm going to get my shit together and finally find the success I know I'm capable of.
Deep dive some mistake I made 20 years ago and how fucking embarrasing it was.
Missing: relishing a success.
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u/GiveMeTheTape 3d ago
You'd think a sense of relief would be enough reward to get shit done next time though...
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u/KnightoftheWind1998 3d ago
I work five days a week and the remaining 2 I was attending university since 2023. Just graduated a couple of weeks ago with high grades and had absolutely no sense of accomplishment whatsoever. I was just like “I finally have my days off back. Nice”
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u/UsualFaithlessness51 2d ago
I feel a sense of accomplishment even after 2 weeks for having survived past age 30. Because it was not a task but a lifetime survived. Usually I only feel relief from tasks, too. Now it does not prevent depression it seems, it stopped depression for 2 days after my birthday where I inwardly, quietly, celebrated. Then It plunged me up and down into it again. That bugs meeeee. These people getting happy juice for one sense of accomplishment, share please xD A drop for a starving person. lmao
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u/andythetwig 2d ago
My unscientific theory about this is that we use adrenaline to complete tasks instead of dopamine
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u/Riccma02 2d ago
It’s so fucking better sweet when I see meme here that verbatim are what I was trying to describe to a therapist 15 years ago.
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u/TransportationFew898 2d ago
After a long and severe Depression because of ADHD. Relive comes close to heaven. Just going to Bed without any smoldering fire is enough for now and that took medication therapy inpatient and outpatient and a lot of effort. The problem for me never was that relief isn't enough but that I didnt look for it and coudn't appiciate it (because this ADHD brain contantly finds ways to fuck things up, needs everything in order to calm down and even is every bill is payed hygene ans chores are done and work is in order, it still need a skyscraper size neon sign that it's ok to sit down and breathe for a moment).
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u/yesimfinewhyyouask 2d ago
What medication worked for you? Glad you made it, gives me hope.
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u/TransportationFew898 1d ago
Just lisdexamphetamine, tried several antidepressands but all of them just made it worse.
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u/yesimfinewhyyouask 1d ago
Oh. Well zero fucking chance of me buying it
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u/TransportationFew898 1d ago
Last antidepressand I took was duloxetin. It certainly helpt with the Symptoms of the Depression. But I got complaicend and very tired, this led to me spiraling downwards. Some people just don't reapond well to SSRIs and SSNRIs.
What seem to work is cognitive behavioral therapy. Helps me to not fall for those dysfunctional thoughts.
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u/yesimfinewhyyouask 1d ago
Ok, thank you. Can you explain CBT in short and save me thousands$$$ on therapist? Or thats not how it works
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u/TransportationFew898 23h ago
Bains generally run in a certain way that creates thoughts based on experiance ans sensory Input. Therapists usually know that gereral way brais run.
In CBT you analyse with your therepist where and how you can change structure routine and thoughts with different methods to achieve your therapie goals. And than you hunt down all little and sometimes big things you CAN change until you don't fight yourself as much to achive the goal you whant to achieve in the first place.
Therapists don't teach you stuff you couldn't learn yourself but usualy you don't have a clear idear what is the problem and what will help. Therapists at least the good ones studied to find exactly that, what is the precice problem and what might help.
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u/Choice_Supermarket_4 3d ago
Wait, you guys feel relief? Here I'm settling for deep, unabating shame.
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u/BotGirlFall 3d ago
Relief then a crushing wave of guilt over all the other tasks you havent completed yet
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u/thebbman 3d ago
Running my first half marathon is one of the few times I felt accomplished and happy.
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u/WarlockGuard 3d ago
You guys feel relieved?
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u/Opposite-Form8095 3d ago
Yeah, whatever existential anxiety you used to do the thing can be let go of for a minute
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u/The_Iron_Ranger 3d ago
Haha or how about
"You did the task wrong" D: (regardless of whether you did or not)
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u/SorelYanlie 3d ago
Usually not even that, just a sense of dread for he next task and the pain of knowing I will have to do the one I just did again in the near future.
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u/Stratix 3d ago
I'm trying to learn how to fix this.
You get more dopamine for the anticipation of the reward.
So what's the reward? You've got to do that yourself.
It can just be sitting there thinking "fuck yeah, I did the task!" before you jump on to the next thing you're thinking about.
But if you go straight on to the next thing without a second thought, don't be surprised if your brain isn't excited to anticipate any reward.
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u/EdiblePsycho 2d ago
I sometimes feel guilty after instead. I think it's because in my head, no matter what I do, once I finish I'll think there was something else that was more important I should have done instead. And often it doesn't get done at all because I literally get nauseous when I start.
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u/Final-Tutor3631 i Will elaborate (Threat). 2d ago
and this is after the first day/week you start them when you’re productive as hell💀
false hope giving motherfuckers
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u/BlueZ_DJ "¿Qué?" 1d ago
It's underrated tbh, I don't care how neurotypicals feel after completing a task, because this DOES make me smile and do a sigh of relief
I can collapse in bed with no guilt, just "aahhhhh........ 😌" after getting rid of something that was living rent free in my head and causing dread
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u/Grouchy_Bug_9938 20h ago
Funnily rhis reminds me that I filled in a board to encourage me to brush my teeth and if I did a certain number of days I'd buy myself a steam deck or gaming laptop. Problem is that once I deviate from routine even once I cannot pick it up again and I ended up buying a steam deck and gaming laptop later on without having brushed my teeth for ages. So I rubbed off what I'd buy and instead I put "You get a sense of relief because nothing else works"
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast 4d ago edited 3d ago
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