r/WhatIsTheTea What the Fuck 6h ago

watch this Louisville man throws beer, shoves and kicks woman for rejecting him on second date

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u/EmbarrassedPage195 6h ago

Why am I never blessed with the opportunity to see this is person? I gotta say, id love to share my perspectives on abusive men and bullies.

u/Pitiful_Ad2397 6h ago

I would prefer to not ever have this happen. That is the blessing here.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 6h ago

It is but unfortunately it's unrealistic in this world. Maybe one day we'll get there. Until then, someone has to hold the line.

u/Pitiful_Ad2397 6h ago

Wanting to witness violence to be some sort of hero is weird as hell.

If you want to help women who are experiencing relationship abuse, find a place to support them and volunteer.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 6h ago edited 5h ago

I definitely poorly explained myself. My wording choice was very bad. I don't edit it because I want to give the rest of the conversation context. I don't want to see this but I would be lying to say the opportunity to show that I disagree with such behavior, and the opportunity to stand up for somebody couldn't, does bring me pleasure. I hope that opportunity to be strong for somebody that can't, would bring anyone pleasure.

u/BoringMisteak 5h ago

Quit being weird. You know what they meant. Holy fuck.

u/hambamthankumaam 5h ago

There's a reason this happened on an empty patio. Every time I have felt threatened by a man, it was never when other people were around:/

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago

I also want to discourage the thought that you need a man around. You absolutely don't. Please go get some self-defense training. Then if you like it, get some ass kicking training.

Twice in my life, I've got my ass HANDED to me on the mat from a woman. I have no doubt that every woman has this in her.

u/alwrit 4h ago

That is terrible fucking advice.

Any decent self defense class instructor is going to tell you, even if you're a man, if you a fight can be avoided then avoid it. Even if that means running away.

You simply do not know what the other person is capable of. You don't know what their training is. You don't know what they're on. You don't know if they have a gun or a knife. 

Yes on a mat in a sparring session under controlled circumstances I'm sure women with training can do quite well even against larger men. But don't confuse that for a street fight with no rules. If you can run you run. 

This woman lunged at the guy twice. I'm not saying he was justified because he's not. But she's putting herself in harms way instead of finding a way out. That's just not smart. The second time when he throws her violently she came very close to hitting her head on a bench. She could have fuckin died from that. 

If you wanna take a self-defense course women better be fully aware it is a last last last resort for when you're cornered not for teaching a guy a lesson even if he both needs it and started it. 

u/EmbarrassedPage195 4h ago edited 3h ago

This was on a mat, in a barracks, and after the first couple of unpulled hits from her, I did not disrespect her effort with pulling my own.

Plus, my pride was a little hurt tbh. That's what she was waiting for. She fucking toyed with me. Then she beat my ass. To this day, she still gives me shit about it. Asks if I want my get backs.

No fucking ma'am, I do not. She was 4" shorter then me, probably 40 lbs less. She fucking OWNED me.

Training can negate any perceived advantage. Sometimes, it can turn a perceived advantage (size, weight, and confidence) into a disadvatge.

Also, at no point did I saw she should stay and fight. I said to seek out a self-defense class. Then, if she enjoyed, an ass kicking class. Mainly I said women don't need to look to men. They're perfectly capable themselves.

Edit: I want to add a nuance here. I've seen, men and women, not step up. To do exactly what you say. Sometimes, the not-acting from fear is what broke them. The why-didnt-i-stand-up-for-myself. It can haunt you. I know myself. Getting your ass beat a little more for trying, but failing.....that can be the thing that gets you through what comes after. That little voice that says "fucker learned it wasn't that easy tho" can carry a person through. I'm not saying it's the right way, every situation is different. Just my experience.

u/DateofImperviousZeal 1h ago

Not every woman is going to be or even be able to become a well trained fighter. And taking some self defense classes isn't going to make you even close to it. You would need to take hits, actually do some fighting, and be good enough to counteract weight and reach advantages that can be like

So no, they don't need to look to others if they spend a significant part of their lives training. Would it be great if all women knew how to grapple? Yes. But lets be realistic.

Trusting strangers to just "beat the shit out of you" and not inadvertently kill you or hurt you for real is a risk you really shouldn't take just for some emotional satisfaction. Like in this video, she is lucky he wasn't more aggressive than he was, he mainly turned violent when she approached him.

I've seen men continue to kick and punch after the shove, having to be dragged off of them, I've seen well-trained men have their shins kicked into pieces in street brawls, dudes getting knocked out and falling face first towards concrete in fights that were completely avoidable. And these risks are much higher for women.

There really is no reason to 'stand up for oneself' with strangers like this.

u/BoringMisteak 5h ago

lol. I’ve wished a motherfucker would so many times. Not because I’m a tough guy, but because little fuckers like this guy deserve to get bitch slapped.

u/spf4000 6h ago

u/EmbarrassedPage195 6h ago edited 6h ago

I'm not. But I stand the line. That's why a lot of people don't stand up. They think you have to be a badass. No, you just have to be there and let it be known you don't accept it. A lot of times simply confronting their behavior, with a simple observation, spoken softly, was enough. People don't like to be seen when they do things like this.

If it escalates, ass whoopings barely hurt anybody. In fact, they usually give you the courage to do it again. Bruises fade, cuts heal, but the self-confidence you gained from getting your ass whooped, but standing up for what's right, last forever.

Your actions are who you are. Not the dialogue in your head, not the things you tell people you are, but the actions you've taken in the past, they are r who you are as a person.

u/GoodgirlTiffany 5h ago

Sure bud

u/CSCyrilatom 4h ago

I dont understand this reaction. Even if they're lying, someone could read this and take the belief to atleast stand up to people. Maybe not let it escalate to physical alterations, but still stand up for others. Even if the commenters just trying to "yea im very badass in case you didnt know" the over all message is just stand up to bullies. Genuinely how is that bad

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago

You too would stand up. I believe this. I believe in you.

u/batsofburden 1h ago

It is a potentially dangerous situation to get into, not just an 'ass whooping'. Two men were murdered on a train in Portland a few years back trying to defend some women from a guy hurling racial slurs at them. It's a noble thing to do, but you have no idea how psycho this random stranger is or if they have a weapon.

u/OptionalDepression 25m ago

If it escalates, ass whoopings barely hurt anybody. In fact, they usually give you the courage to do it again. Bruises fade, cuts heal, but the self-confidence you gained from getting your ass whooped, but standing up for what's right, last forever

...and that's how I got stabbed.

u/Huppurotta 4h ago

I have to say that everytime someone beat my abuser, he beat me much worse... This is weird to say.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 4h ago

I'm not sure what to do with this. I'm sorry, first of all, that you were ever abused. This is not the outcome I would desire. What could I do different? Would anything make the outcome a better one for you?

Fuck, I have no idea what to do with this. It sounds like you're no longer in that relationship? If so, fucking congrats on that courage. That takes so much.

I was in an abusive relationship as well. Took me a long time to understand it was. Emotional/psychological, not physical. I have a story for you. It's funny, this is the second time tonight I've shared it.

A woman was given a vision of her past. She saw herself before the relationship. So strong, so confident, so beautiful with the big heart. She looked at herself now, trauma scarred, self-isolating, no confidence, and possibly broken inside. She reached for for her old self and hugged her close. She whispered in her ear.....

Thank you for being strong enough to get us through that.

u/Huppurotta 4h ago

I don't really know what is the right thing to do. I just wanted to let u know, that usually when abuser gets beaten up they go and abuse someone else so that they can feel "better"... It's just so sick and yeah im free from my abuser finally.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 4h ago

Thank you for sharing. Frfr. I'm not sure what to do with it yet, but it gives me something to examine my actions with.

u/LibertarianTh1nker 2h ago

Hell yeah that you freed yourself from him. Find yourself a good man. You deserve it.

u/Huppurotta 2h ago

Haha thank u so much ! Im happy being single ☺️💜 No drama or other bullshit! 🤣

u/LibertarianTh1nker 2h ago

Hey same here.

u/Billy_Butcher139 6h ago

you wouldn't do jack. Sit down, kid.

u/sk8t-4-life22 6h ago

I'd like to believe that I too would do something. I dont know that I would word it like that because it is "I am very badass" material but I have a wife and daughter and that woman is somebody else's family member. The way he shoved her down definitely had the capability of killing her. I'd like to believe that I would put that man in his place and hold him there until police arrive.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago

From my experience, I can tell you what would happen. The person will respond aggressively and loudly. Trying to intimidate you. That's the moment this switch happens. It's no longer random woman he's beating on. It's your daughter , your mother, your cousin, or the girl you took to prom.

Then the rage comes. Fear is forgotten. First time takes courage. Second time, the confidence carries.

u/Billy_Butcher139 6h ago

Good for you, man. Hopefully there are more guys like you around. Me personally, I would’ve done quite the opposite. I would even go as far as handing my wallet and car keys over to the guy just so he doesn’t even think about making me his next target. Then i would’ve ran home while bawling my eyes out, mascara running down my face, and make a Reddit post immediately about how i almost lost my life but a Samaritan took the heat off me and after that i would book a therapy session for my newly induced PTSD

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago edited 5h ago

Not everybody is meant to be this, but I bet you would have been that first person by that woman's side, telling her how fucking strong she was, telling her she's strong enough to leave, carrying those sobs on your shoulder while she cries.

My strength is simple. I'm not strong enough for that though. You posses a greater strength than mine. I envy people that can talk down situations. That walk in , smiling and laughing, diffuse the whole room. I envy those that, after a couple words, can create a safe space around themselves. I need those that can navigate the emotional situation that follows.

Those strengths are not mine. But I have my role.

u/sk8t-4-life22 2h ago

OK buddy. 👍

u/InsideLibrary3580 6h ago

Tommy tough knuckles over here

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago

If it's tough to stand up up for what's right, then I guess so. You got it in you too. In fact, I bet money you wouldn't stand around either.

u/Canadian-and-Proud 6h ago

Relevant username, or at least you should be embarrassed. You wouldn't do shit.

u/redditaccountnumb1 6h ago

And what will you do fill me and ask him to please stop and then white knight for her

u/RollofDuctTape 5h ago

I mean I get the thing you’re doing. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. And I’m sure you’ll dismiss my post. And you have every right to.

But I promise you, with every fiber of my being, that I would treat him with the same disdain as he treated that person. And it has little to do with her being a woman by the way.

Some of you really think the world is a sandbox of people of equal pathetic-ness and bitch-ass-ness.

Some people will really slap the shit out of you for less.

u/redditaccountnumb1 5h ago

Tysonhandsbadass.gif

u/RollofDuctTape 5h ago

Right. I expected nothing less from you, as I previewed. And I’m assuming it’s a coping mechanism because you’re probably afraid of someone slapping the shit out of you in public. Actions and consequences and all.

But again. Try others at your own peril.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago

FAFO. There's a reason this is so popular now. Everyday thousands of men are released from the military, that are trained just for this. To protect.

And some are taught this from an early age. Some choose to be this.

I see you. Carry on. Have the confidence of your past actions.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 6h ago

I treat people as they demonstrated themselves to be. I match energies. Courteous requests are often enough seen from a possible threat. When people know their behavior has consequences, usually that is enough to make them stop. I've experienced this many times.

But I won't turn down a good time if not.

u/redditaccountnumb1 6h ago

Sure bud

u/EmbarrassedPage195 6h ago

I hope you find the strength in yourself one day as well. I believe in you. I believe when the time came you'd stand up to. I have confidence in myself because I've done it, I was trained for it, and I was raised that way.

I believe the courage is in everybody though. I've seen people I thought would piss their pants at the first sound of gunfire, be the first through a breach door.

I believe in you.

u/redditaccountnumb1 5h ago

Okay buddy and then everybody clapped

u/DropstoneTed 6h ago

I'd be in fucking jail so fast if I saw this in person. I don't need that so I'm glad I have not yet seen this kind of thing in person.

u/InsideLibrary3580 6h ago

Yeah was pretty gross to watch

u/EmbarrassedPage195 6h ago

I see you. I believe in you. Carry on what it means to be a man. To protect. To provide for those who can't. To lift up those around him. To learn to be vulnerable, but at the same time, to be self-confident based on the decisions you have made.

u/Kenny_RogersRoasters 6h ago

Keyboard tough guy over here

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago

Why do you choose to criticize someone who's expressing that they would stand up for somebody in the situation? We don't know them, how they were raised, what they were trained to do, or how they've acted in previous situations.

Seems like your comment is only meant to bring somebody down that's expressing they would have the courage to do so, to stand up for another human being.

What is the point?

u/DropstoneTed 5h ago

There's a breed of people who respond like this to any suggestion of forcible intervention. Whether they are devoted pacifists, anti-authoritarians, or people hoping that their own public abuses aren't met with a show of force from a concerned passerby - who knows, who cares. They're a dime a dozen and society has never mourned their absence.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago

Oh god, you sent me with this!

What I heard - " You're soft, your bloodline is weak, and you will be forgotten."

Much 💖 bruh.

u/PeyredB 5h ago

I have a feeling that "Keyboard tough guy" there was doing a bit of projection.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago

Usually. Sad because it's only their truth because they believe it. I believe they would stand up.

u/DropstoneTed 5h ago

I know, you'd avert your eyes and pretend to be fully focused on your phone. That's the only reaction you can comprehend.

u/OpalVanguard 6h ago

Because he’d never do it around a dude.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago

90% of the time though. That's why you don't have to be a badass to deal with things like these. Just have to assert it's not okay.

Most of the time, once you do others will follow lead anyways. One man of courage will inspire 20 around them.

u/TravelNSee 6h ago edited 5h ago

Blessed? You fantasize about woemn being hurt so you can be there?

u/migzors 6h ago

It's probably more like hurting people that need it.

u/DC_MEDO_still_lost 6h ago

A lot of people who insist they would do something in person find all sorts of excuses why they shouldn’t when the time actually comes

u/migzors 6h ago

To be fair, good Samaritan's have died due to trying to break up a domestic dispute, even in public. The hesitation is understandable.

u/DC_MEDO_still_lost 6h ago

Recognizing you’d hesitate is one thing.

There are also a lot of blowhards who want to think they’d be heroes in the moment who find any excuse not to be when confronted with it. 

u/TravelNSee 5h ago

My comment was about neither. It's about the weirdo fetish of wanting women to be harmed so you can "save them" lol. You should want them to be not attacked in the first place.

u/DC_MEDO_still_lost 5h ago

It’s on the same spectrum, but not as far down, as the dummies who fantasize about stopping a mass shooter or something 

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago

I get that. But even have the courage to say it's not okay, that goes a long way. Even if you don't follow through, that courage will carry a lot.

Most abusers don't like to be seen.

The best part of being able to look at my actions, and knowing who I am as a person, is other people's judgment of me no longer matters. I have the self-confidence of my past to stand on.

u/Ninja-Panda70 6h ago

What a weird take

u/TravelNSee 6h ago

Nah y'all are just idiots.

You think this woman would rather have redditors fight dudes after she gets attacked rather than having never experienced any of this shit?

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago edited 5h ago

It was absolutely poorly worded. I didn't edit because the context of a conversation that follows.

I don't wish for anybody to be harmed. My strengths lie in defending those who do though. I would be lying if I said I didn't take pleasure and showing those strengths.

It was very poorly worded though.

u/Kenny_RogersRoasters 6h ago

Like you would do anything.

u/hexregeneration 6h ago

Would you not?

u/Neuraxis 6h ago

He's an incel

u/EmbarrassedPage195 6h ago edited 5h ago

I never understand this perspective. I was taught, had to cause harm and kill people in the military. I was deployed to countries that force was deemed necessary. I was supported by my country when I came back. On a macro scale, we believe in this concept. But on the micro, we believe it's wrong. Plenty of time we see abusers that get away. We see women that are so scared and they're unable to file the necessary charges.

But I'm an incel because I would stand up to them. Why am I a hero in one and then incel in another?

Then let me be the incel. She will know, at least, there are men out there that would protect her. That there are men that think this is wrong.

u/Neuraxis 6h ago

Sorry I think you misread my comment. Im commenting on the guy dismissing you.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 6h ago

Thank you and I'm sorry for misunderstanding.

u/Sirrub90 6h ago

No one's buying it, pal.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 6h ago

It's kind of the brilliance of my training and what I have been through. I don't care. I don't care that you believe me. I believe in myself. I believe in my actions that I've done. I believe in your right to disbelieve in me.

u/TheSleepyTruth 6h ago

Realistically 90% of people wouldnt do jack shit, other than maybe yell at him to stop and then run to call bar staff/security over. Most men (especially those who post on reddit) have never been in a real fight or thrown a punch in their entire life yet act like they would jump into a brawl on behalf of a stranger at the first sign of trouble. Its typically just laughable chest puffing bravado

u/EmbarrassedPage195 5h ago

Say what you will, my actions in the past defined me. I have the confidence of those of who I am.

To another point though, I've seen nobody speak up with 20 people standing around. The minute I spoke up, I've seen 10 of those leap to my side. A lot of times, people just need to see courage in action.

u/EmbarrassedPage195 6h ago

You don't need to believe I would. I just hope you believe that you would. That's all.