Gay culture can be pretty sexist

[u/Error_rdt]

Now do I think all of gay culture sexist? No. But I've noticed it can act pretty sexist and in this example it has to with how it rationalizes the popularity of more libertine lifestyles among same sex attracted men. It essentially believes that it's popularity is a byproduct of them being men and that men are inherently bound to be more sexualy libertine and that is not in the nature of men to engage in committed monogamous relationships.

It also believes that is the women who are the ones who are inherently romantic. It assumes that there is an apparent nature of both men and women that makes it that only the woman ensures that the man doesn't enter more libertine lifestyles. How is this not a sexist generalization of both men and women? not only that but it also feels like a way to dodge acknowledging how much the popularity of these lifestyles are a byproduct of culture more than anything. I have also seen people say that the popularity is also a byproduct of oppression but not only do I find that speculatory given the limited visibility but I also find it hard to believe that someone who values a committed monogamous relationship would Resort to something so anti thetical to that this also feels like a away to dodge acknowledging how much the sexual revolution and urban libertine subcultures from the 60s and 70s influenced gay culture.

People are more than their sex humans are complex creatures a person is not bound to act certain way just because of what is in their pants. For something that is considered progressive this is essentially just woke sexism.

[u/GhostOfShaolin5]

Turns out , just about every group of people are just people.

[u/JollyXX]

I was in the rave culture after high school and many of my best friends were gay, it was fun to shit on women constantly with them, we bonded over shitting on women all the time

[u/a_slutty_peanut]

You've mischaracterized "gay culture," quite terribly. It doesn't pretend that women are the more romantic sex, just that they are the limiting factor on straight men's promiscuity.

I also find it hard to believe that someone who values who a committed monogamous relationship would Resort to something so anti thetical

Wrong again. It's fine slutting around until you find Mr. Right. A preference for monogamy doesn't prohibit having fun until you find it.

[u/Error_rdt → u/a_slutty_peanut]

How exactly are women a "limiting factor" on straight men's promiscuity when both men and women have cheated on each other.

Of course it's one thing to sleep around until you find the one. But I am mainly talking about people who don't want to do that who are strict about wanting a committed monogamous relationship which is a lot of people. The rationalization surrounding this issue often doesn't take take into account how much the sexual revolution and urban libertine subcultures affected the popularity of these lifestyles.

[u/a_slutty_peanut → u/Error_rdt]

How exactly are women a "limiting factor" on straight men's promiscuity when both men and women have cheated on each other.

Because straight men do not have ready access to sex the way gay men do... And that's due to straight women not sleeping around as much. This isn't a tough concept.

[u/Markdd8 → u/a_slutty_peanut]

Yes. The massive amount of prostitution to service men is evidence of this.

[u/a_slutty_peanut → u/Markdd8]

If you think your average man uses prostitutes you're not living in reality.

[u/___AirBuddDwyer___]

Yeah, you’ll hear about this in queer discourses sometimes. Gay men can be very dismissive of women. Some men only see women as useful for sex, and if those men are gay then they don’t see women as very useful at all.

[u/Still-Concentrate-37 → u/___AirBuddDwyer___]

How are gay men dismissive of women?

[u/GeckoGecko_]

I'd argue gay culture just happens to be more libertine, because men are more prone to promiscuity when given the chance. I don't think gay men need to "justify" this in any way, it just is. I couldn't tell you the exact reason gay men get around more than straight men, but them being into women is a good guess. Who knows.

[u/TrixieLurker]

I thought that this was common knowledge, after all it is just people being people.

[u/Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess-]

There’s definitely a specific group of gay men who think they are Regina George despite the fact that they hate women.

[u/shitposts_over_9000]

the biggest reason the vast majority of history cared about monogamy even a little bit was heredity and family financial stability.

the gay community will never have full-scale heredity concerns and it has been less than a generation since they were even potentially saddled with the potential financial damage of family court.

they gay community also has a lot of observations - lesbians are 2/3rds of all same sex marriages, of married same-sex couples they divorce at 2.5x the rate of gay couples, and are 3x-10x as likely to have fully monogamous relationships and 1.3x-2x as likely to experience domestic violence from a partner. Gay couples that do marry often do so for financial reasons, lesbians much more often for romance or timing to have or adopt a child. Lesbians also have triple the rate of being parents as gay men.

the gay community does not generally believe that is the women who are the ones who are solely romantic, but it absolutely recognizes the very obvious pattern that it is women that much more commonly prioritize this over everything else where as men, gay or not, generally have many other competing motivations of equal or more concern.

the only part of this that is, as you put it, in their pants is the children - lesbians with children only are about 12% adoptions, almost the same rate as population averages for other types of infertile couples and they are 3x as likely to have children so they have vastly more of the traditional motivations for monogamy.

beyond that, there are a huge array of psychological differences between the sexes and nearly endless argument about which of those are nature vs nurture, but when observing the result that doesn't really matter all that much.

IRL most people don't consider something an -ism when there are observable differences and data to back them up holding through population averages.

Beyond that the collapse of long-term, committed, monogamous relationships as a concept has not remotely been limited to the non-straight community and the gay community is somewhat outside of the line of fire of that since they never had as much of that or as much of the motivations. From that vantage they are just making observations.

[u/Still-Concentrate-37]

How does gay culture say that women are what ensures that men don't enter libertine lifestyles?

[u/Various_Succotash_79]

It's more likely because they weren't allowed to have real relationships for so long, it became part of the culture.

But then a lot of straight guys want a "hall pass" or to have a threesome or to open up the relationship so maybe it is the testosterone.

[u/naaawww]

Minority on minority violence is not talked about enough