r/SuicideWatch • u/96quacks • 9h ago
I'm truly afraid I'm going to hurt myself NSFW
Hey
Just made a post some hours ago
I took a shower, talked with someone and I felt better for a while. But it's almost bed time and I'm so afraid I'm going to try something.
I hate being poor. I fucking, fucking hate it. I'm unemployed, I was fired two months ago, three days before my birthday.
How does money go so easily? I had a car accident some weeks ago and boom, there goes a huge part of my savings. I need money and I don't wanna go to a call center again. The idea makes me nauseous. But what am I gonna do? I don't know anything better. I'm a loser, I'm so stupid.
I don't think I'll ever finish college. I don't have the option to go back and dedicate my time just to college. Why are jobs so time consuming? I had to wake up at 4:30 am, get out of my house at 5:15 and I usually came back at 5:00 pm.
Maybe I'm too weak. Maybe I shouldn't be alive. Why am I complaining of something that 90% of the population go through, and maybe most of them have even corse conditions.
I really feel so sensitive and weak. I don't deserve to be alive. I can't live like this. God, I don't even have real problems and I wanna kill myself. What am I gonna do the day I have real problems?
I don't want to go to a mental facility. I don't have money for it. Money is everything and I'm so sick of it. I need an eye surgery that I can't pay. Imagine the amount of money I'll be saving if I just end up with my life.
But deep down I know I don't wanna die. I just wish things were easier, I just wish I was stronger. I don't believe in God. I ask the universe for hope, that's all I want.
I think I'll be okay if I survive tonight
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u/Frank_Perfectly 7h ago
I can’t be the only one impressed that you have been responsible enough to amass any kind of savings these days. You have my respect and must be doing something right!