There was this girl at a birthday recently who was talking like this. "I don't date men without x and x and x". A few drinks later she was still going and my wife hit her with the: "Don't you think those men you're after aren't looking for a jobless 33 year old woman with 2 kids from another man? Those are pretty big red flags overall".
You could tell that one hurt.
They always want the prize when they are never the catch. It's nice you had good looks 15 years ago. Those don't help with your attitude or situation now.
Princess syndrome. When my mom was told she was having a girl she told me and my brother that we would were to not coddle her, she's a girl yes so be gentler but other than that treat her like a brother.
I'm happy to say she's an amazing human who's down to earth and tough as nails.
But a lot of women don't have that growing up and instead get told endlessly how cute they are and how they deserve everything and never develop self awareness that comes with being given honest feedback.
I recently heard children should not be praised for something that is not a direct result of their diligence. Hearing "oh you're so pretty" even if (only) several times a day probably doesn't teach a child much of any value...
My 18y daughter was just complaining to me yesterday about this very thing. She is a very accomplished young woman who worked hard to graduate with honors and was accepted into the flight program at university.
Every family/friend we’ve encountered this summer, upon learning her upcoming plans to become a professional pilot, has commented “Oh isn’t that nice? You’re such a pretty girl!” and then immediately launch into what a bright future her brother has in store (he is a junior at state uni majoring in poly sci which is great, but nothing special).
Daughter is simply astounded how no one cares about her hard work or talents, just that she is “so pretty.” It’s been a frustrating experience for her.
I rather he gets complimented for something he works towards. He is ahead of the curve as far as reading and maths goes. Especially maths, those are compliments he deserves.
Not the ones he gets for his looks which he had nothing to do with. When he is older and ready to find a partner I am sure he will get plenty of compliments, he has already received compliments of that nature from women in their 20's which I immediately shut down because I don't want someone to take advantage of him.
When it is age appropriate for him to receive those compliments from a potential partner he can gladly get them. Not now when he is young and his personality and character needs to be honed in the right direction.
Narcissism is fundamentally rooted in parents overvaluing their children. Constantly praising them makes them believe they are perfect, special, better then everyone else... and deserving of everything, by default.
Praising their achievements is what builds up healthy self esteem and habits.
Hard disagree. My little princess is 4 today and I spoil the hell out of her. What's the worst that could happen? She becomes an intolerable brat that no one can love and has to stay with poppa forever? Oh no!
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u/Dry_Yogurtcloset_213 1d ago
There was this girl at a birthday recently who was talking like this. "I don't date men without x and x and x". A few drinks later she was still going and my wife hit her with the: "Don't you think those men you're after aren't looking for a jobless 33 year old woman with 2 kids from another man? Those are pretty big red flags overall".
You could tell that one hurt.
They always want the prize when they are never the catch. It's nice you had good looks 15 years ago. Those don't help with your attitude or situation now.