r/SipsTea • u/Matt_LawDT • Jul 31 '26

Chugging tea HR wants to know the tee

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u/Treveli Jul 31 '26

"My swingers club is having its annual bacanal festival. I've been chosen as the goddess of trains, and I will be absolutely physically wrecked for several days."

"wtf! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT!"

"Personal time, special event."

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u/Thrawn89 Jul 31 '26

"Also my grandma died and her wake is happening the same week. She was also pretty popular with the club so we decided to run the events together."

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u/lesssthan Jul 31 '26

Reddit™©® It can always be worse. We'll make it worse.

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u/k2kyo Jul 31 '26

"Also there's this one girl she didn't like and said I could only fuck her "over my dead body" so I figured now's my chance"

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u/TheDarkWave Jul 31 '26

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u/Cellyst Aug 02 '26

We're all strict Roman Catholics. That's right! No birth control. So I'm taking the following Monday off to meet my kids. Or rather, the kids that might be mine.

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u/Nazzzgul777 Jul 31 '26

"It's on a private island. Trump has been there a couple times."

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u/Limp_Lawfulness5133 Jul 31 '26

We got a permit for 5 bouncy castles to hold 5x more occupants.

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u/Admirable_Lemon_1112 Aug 02 '26

You need to put grandma in there with the occupants. She wanted to bounce around after she died

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u/Limp_Lawfulness5133 Aug 02 '26

If she shows up on the island, they will be furious.

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u/Muhahahahaz Jul 31 '26

😂😂😂

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u/deadbodyswtor Jul 31 '26

You spelled funnier wrong. It doesn't start with a W.

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u/Raiquo Jul 31 '26

We'll make it worse. Together.

There, now is sounds like a marketing slogan! Ftfy

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u/lesssthan Aug 01 '26

omg, that is perfect. Thankyou

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u/lucky_719 Jul 31 '26

Kids welcome

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u/rundabluff120 Jul 31 '26

Can grandma still be part of the train

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u/tokentyke Jul 31 '26

Necrophilia - when one has that sudden urge to crack open a cold one.

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u/attackplango Jul 31 '26

Best we can do is let her dead head.

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u/PM_me_a_bad_pun Jul 31 '26

Putting the fun in funeral

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u/TheWillOfFiree Jul 31 '26

Chaz will be there to crash it as well.

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u/TheSpyStyle Jul 31 '26

The group is called the Saggy Gaggers

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u/dvlinblue Jul 31 '26

Nanna holds the record, don’t think anyone will ever beat it. 

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u/fatninja7 Jul 31 '26

Balls out for nana

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u/wheresthetux Jul 31 '26

There a discussion with your manager could be helpful because I'm sure you could use bereavement leave for that instead of vacation.

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u/Thrawn89 Jul 31 '26

There's no healing like running on train on grandma's casket with your friends and family

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u/ZoominAlong Jul 31 '26

Oh my God stop I'm literally shaking the bed giggling and I'm gonna wake up my wife...

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u/Inevitable-Dot3982 Jul 31 '26

I just scared my dogs cackling.

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u/classycatman Jul 31 '26

Funkakke

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u/Indulge-And-Enjoy Jul 31 '26

If she died she shouldn't be waking, just a suggestion

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u/sobrique Jul 31 '26

Catering will be roast beef sandwiches.