I find this extremely frustrating when I encounter situations like this, but luckily most of the Jews I know are reform Jews who totally accept secular Judaism. However, it is really annoying when religious Jews call secular Jews “non-Jews.” Especially since Judaism is an ethnoreligion.

This topic comes up every so often in the main Jewish subs and almost always gets shut down. So, I’m wondering if we can have it here, intracommunally, hopefully free of both religious ideology and the sneering antisemitism with which it tends to be brought up by outsiders.

I have personally made the decision that, should I have a son, I do not intend to circumcise him. I’ve looked into Brit Shalom as an alternative, although I’m also conscious that other Jews may not accept it as authentic, and I worry about what this would mean for this hypothetical future child’s sense of Jewish identity.

I consider myself 100% Jewish, culturally speaking, just not religious. Every man and boy in my family to date, going back as many generations as can be counted, has been circumcised; so they tend to feel defensive when I try to bring up my reservations about it as an aspiring mother.

But my personal values are that bodily autonomy comes before culture/religion, and that this constitutes a medically unnecessary procedure. If upon raising a boy to the age of 18, he decided for himself that he wants to be circumcised, that would be his choice. I don’t think it’s a choice I should make for him.

Curious to hear perspectives on this from other secular Jews here.

As my user suggests I do not, but what about you guys?

If so, what are you doing? We will have some family over for dinner, challah, apples and honey, and say shecheanu

My wife and I are a same sex, atheist couple. I am Jewish, and she is not. Her family celebrates Christmas and Easter but only in a capitalist/material, for-the-fun-parts kind of way. My family celebrates Passover, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Chanukah, shabbat dinner, and sometimes Purim when I was a kid but only in a cultural, to-connect-to-our-heritage kind of way. As a Jewish kid raised in America, I was always quite jealous of the secular versions of Christmas and Easter all of my friends got to celebrate because it looked like so much fun, and it was the mainstream. But alas, we were not the assimilating kind of Jews with a "Chanukah Bush" (despite my pleading).

Fast forward to now. I gave birth in February to our first child, and she is Jewish because I am Jewish. I want her to feel connected to her Jewish culture and heritage without it being overshadowed by the flashy, fun, mainstream, secular Christmas and Easter that my wife and in-laws will inevitably share with her. My wife fully supports celebrating all of the Jewish holidays in our home, and there is also definitely an expectation that we will also celebrate her family's holidays, which I am mostly on board with. We signed her up for PJ Library, which provides free, monthly, age-appropriate, Jewish themed books until she's 12, which is really cool!

The question or concern I have is how to approach giving her a balanced experience of both of our cultures without my wife's being the one our child gravitates towards more because it's more fun, more normal, and it's what she'll see in all the stores, schools, and at most of her friends' houses.

Also, what do we do about Santa? I never want to tell her the Santa lie, even when she's little because I find it stupid, frankly (I guess I'm a bit of a grinch). But my wife doesn't agree with me yet because she liked being told the lie when she was little.

So, are any of you raising kids in mixed secular homes? Were any of you raised with both secular Judaism and secular, American, material Christmas and Easter? How do you navigate the balance? What do you do about Santa?

For me it was learning about the Holocaust, and witnessing all the antisemitism in the world. I just can’t imagine that if there was a God he would have allowed all of this to happen…

We’re excited to officially announce that r/SecularJudaism is now open!

Judaism is an ethnoreligion that encompasses far more than exclusively a religious belief. Jewish identity is also rooted in a shared peoplehood, culture, history, heritage, traditions, and collective experience.

This community was created specifically for secular, atheist, agnostic, culturally Jewish, or otherwise non-religious Jews who still strongly identify with the Jewish people and their shared heritage. You don’t need to believe in God, regularly attend synagogue, keep kosher, or observe every holiday to have a meaningful connection to being Jewish.

Here, we aim to explore and celebrate Jewish peoplehood beyond religious belief: our culture, history, traditions, languages, humor, food, Israel, diaspora experiences, family customs, and the countless other things that connect Jews to one another across generations and around the world.

While secular Jewish life is at the heart of this community, r/SecularJudaism is a community for people of all backgrounds. Religious and observant Jews are welcome to participate. We simply ask that everyone respect the many different ways Jews understand and express their Jewish identity, including those whose connection to Judaism is primarily cultural, ethnic, or communal rather than religious.

Whether you’re atheist, agnostic, secular, culturally Jewish, traditionally observant, religious, somewhere in between, or still figuring out what being Jewish means to you, you’re welcome to join the conversation.

Welcome to r/SecularJudaism — a community for Jewish peoplehood, culture, and identity beyond religion.