I was destroyed at fantasy so here I am

[u/SloDilf1493]

[u/post-explainer]

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

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OP's BIO:

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Hi Im a 6’1” 33yo dude living in San Diego. I work in construction and my ADD has me doing hobbies ranging from mountain biking to blacksmithing. My most recent hobby has been slicing off Nazi stickers off street signs on my way to work (hooray they’re here too)… As for food, if it’s not spicy I don’t want it. I’m sure that lends to my stomach problems but I’ll be dammed if I give that up.

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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[u/aeonsne]

That look is the last thing a female hiker sees as she disappears forever.

[u/New-Somewhere-8761 → u/aeonsne]

I now understand why women prefer to encounter the bear 🐻

[u/noCAP8631 → u/aeonsne]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3ov9k2UXYxLLpqSCm4

[u/Quirkluck]

You look like you want to be a firefighter so badly

[u/kimrock1207 → u/Quirkluck]

Yesss

[u/mazzotta70 → u/Quirkluck]

Dude looks like he's into firefighter x sissy fetish porn

[u/Quirkluck → u/mazzotta70]

https://giphy.com/gifs/GpyS1lJXJYupG

[u/CraftyIncrease3821 → u/Quirkluck]

Hahahaha

[u/AriMeowber]

Take two steps back. You’ll have great succcess as a garden gnome.

[u/a24boy]

Did your parents make you post this?

[u/freesouI]

You’re the uncle that’s not allowed to babysit anymore.

[u/ReillyDiefenbach]

I thought only straight men did fantasy

[u/wild_cherry1987]

It's the same smile when you tell a prostitute you left your wallet in a car.

[u/CraftyIncrease3821 → u/wild_cherry1987]

Hahahahha

[u/jarboxing]

If you made a venn diagram between the friend zone and the bike lane, this guy would be the intersection.

[u/kimrock1207 → u/jarboxing]

Hahahahah

[u/jarboxing → u/kimrock1207]

Thank you I was proud of that one lol

[u/BigBagoSith_sp]

I bet if you deleted all the dick pics saved on your phone it would be physically lighter..

[u/Zesty-Meatloaf]

Your head looks like if humpty dumpty was a data analyst.

[u/jarboxing → u/Zesty-Meatloaf]

Lolol

[u/mkujoe]

Milhouse Fat Outen

[u/rballmonkey]

“haha my cool bro friends made me do this”

aw, sweet but sad pretending you have friends

[u/OneMinuteManny]

Yeah, that's a Tinder 6'1".

[u/Burritos_tonight → u/OneMinuteManny]

Yeah, he's not 6'1" lol

[u/Darkurthe_ → u/Burritos_tonight]

More like a GRNDR 6"

[u/paulartistic1]

The last time you had pussy was 33 years ago

[u/Competitive_Roof_740]

If Ellen grew a moustache...

[u/CraftyIncrease3821 → u/Competitive_Roof_740]

🤣

[u/Valbertnie]

Men aren't worried about letting their wives be alone with him.

[u/grumpyphilip]

High school was rough for you

[u/AaronStalkin]

You look like Mr Potato Head crossed with an insurance salesman.

[u/weezyverse]

Destroyed already and the season just started?

Unless fantasy is code for job and destroyed is code for fired and you haven't figured out how to tell your mom who you live with yet...

[u/11teensteve → u/weezyverse]

that's the line that losers use here to try and fool people into thinking that they are man enough for sports but are actually to girly to even be good at them even when playing a pretend game.

[u/KrustyNutRagz]

A Fat peter griffin face attached to an oompa loompa body.

[u/New-Somewhere-8761 → u/KrustyNutRagz]

Yeah but Peter has a hot wife, unlike this guy.

[u/SixStringSuperfly]

Your mother is disappointed

[u/Altruistic-Traffic-]

I thought you were Jonah hill

[u/TeoVilla86]

OP looks like he's trying to apply for van driver with free candy written on it.

[u/New-Somewhere-8761]

Does he mean he lost at d&d, and why does he have a dimple on just one side of his face

[u/i_never_liked_you2]

Are you sure you're in the right San?

https://giphy.com/gifs/4Jxa0QgHF2HSw

[u/ChrisVirgilSchuette]

Why does every dipshit fantasy football loser on here have a horrendous mustache?

[u/hhhhhhhhope]

You look like the perp and the victim of the same heinous molestation case

[u/CDavis10717]

I did not know they still sell Vitalis.

[u/matts88us]

Ah man I’m so afraid I’m going to look like this when I get older

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[u/MyNameIsNotNotChuck]

If Alex Bowman was a short gay man

[u/wild_cherry1987]

You look like you strive in middle seat when in the air.

[u/Most_Fox_982]

Let me guess about the fantasy, you're a naughty elf and he's Santa?

[u/Damnsandwich]

You look like you should have a sign in your yard, not in your hands.

[u/OlFlirtyBastard]

You probably got a letter from Ed Kemper asking you to stop cosplaying as him

[u/spacedogchasing]

You're built like a baby t-rex.

[u/solstice4l]

Dude has the face of a pastor that’s going to be arrested for CP.

[u/Sugary-cupcake]

You look like you can't go within 1,000 feet of a school.

[u/retiredatbirth]

Gay firefighter

[u/NoProgress8533]

Bro looks like he was kicked out of the navy for being gay and homophobic at the same time.

[u/AcceptableChange8456]

Judging by the fit, you keister wieners.

[u/IFeedDogsChocolate]

The way your lower lip transitions straight to neck is absolutely diabolical/diabetic (type 2).

[u/Visual-Hawk9154]

I assume it must have been embarrassing to ask someone to take a photo of you for Reddit.
No need to say more.

[u/ericargyle]

Not just destroyed in fantasy, but in real life as well.

[u/mrinkyface]

You look like the type of guy to adopt a dog and use it as a bidet

[u/BiteFaces]

You look like you sell used dildos for a living and your mom is your biggest (and only) customer.

[u/BritWit11]

God also destroyed you by skipping leg day

[u/Cookworks]

Was the fantasy your girl best friend liking you back?

[u/killerapp]

Before it was ADD now is autistic tomorrow who knows maybe just imbecile

[u/chickpeatacos]

Definitely not 6'1 you a smol Lil guy

[u/markymark80]

John Plain Gacy

[u/RecordOk4827]

You say you're 6'1? That looks like your length from the upper half.

[u/tautjes]

He calls himself a short king

[u/GroundedStrategist]

You already look roasted my man

[u/Hypervicious777]

You look like a generic construction worker in a video game.

[u/Shake_N_Baby]

This is the face I visualize after hearing "Can I at least get an over-the-pants handy?"

[u/CDavis10717]

You spend your time looking at guys, talking about guys, studying guys, liking guys, taking guys, and get destroyed. Worst gay ever!

[u/Surfing_Tension]

Looks like you were destroyed by real life too

[u/Federal-Yesterday497]

That shoe scraper has more of a life than you

[u/Frammingatthejimjam]

That's too bad because all you have is fantasy.

[u/Xiaphearix]

Ted Less-so

[u/Technical_Green3423]

You look like you lie about your height on dating apps.

[u/elle_suy]

that look is the last thing a female hiker sees as she disappears forever

[u/Reckless_Pixel]

Looks like a kid who's Dad took a first day of school photo.

[u/ViolaNguyen]

You look like someone grafted a regular fruit tree onto a dwarf tree to get something short and fruity. But human.

[u/Capital-Table-1972]

You look like a even more creepy Vince Gilligan

[u/TheGooseMon420]

Funsize Ed Kemper

[u/BusyIntention8172]

Lil nose big face lil ears big teeth lil fingers big wrist

[u/No_Im_Spartacus_987]

Try D&D and leave the football to the grownups who can grow respectable facial hair

[u/AutisticSuperpower]

You look like you get destroyed at life in general.

[u/itsUNEMPLOYMENT]

You two are just a regular person.

Nothing good nothing bad you just exist

[u/fuzzycuffs]

I didn't know they had fantasy online predator leagues now.

[u/come_on_anarchy]

The idea that having diverse hobbies is merely a result of a purported disease is absurd.

So your hobbies that give you pleasure are a result of a pathological process in this case?

Unfortunately with time you will see that ADD is not an effective explanation for the nuances and complexity of one’s experiences of conscious in this world.

Using ADD as an explanation is a placeholder for individuals unwilling to do deeper spiritual work. But of course they will state that cannot do that for to the ADD despite being on treatment. It’s an of illusion.

[u/wallStBetModsRGayAF]

You look like someone nobody wants their kids around ever

[u/Necessary_Relation27]

You paraphrased geocaching nazi stickers really well

[u/KidGeezer]

Dr. Hartman IRL.

[u/Mecco]

pederast vibes

[u/Some-Tall-Guy75]

Every woman you’ve ever slept with was faking it

[u/Sufficient_Local5025]

You just hope he uses the good roofies, because that seeing that grinning face during the act is the kind of trauma one can't come back from.

[u/Grand-Movie-4921]

Stupid Flanders

[u/StyleThen234]

The ipa’s are strong with this one

[u/JensenHBurnerAcct]

Why does he look like Ed Kemper?

[u/Quadreau_Tin]

Is "Fantasy" the name of the Men''s Spa that you frequent? I assume that by destroyed, you mean the boys really did a number on your asshole.

[u/rupertwiley]

Just For Men doesn’t just apply to your hair color, does it?

[u/Scarcito_El_Gatito]

I’m a the mustache part of the punishment?

[u/paragonx29]

Your shirt says Pretty Plant, your face says Juicyfruit.

[u/ch3apsunglass3s]

You will be someones second favorite step-dad someday

[u/Extension-Team]

Tell me how was meeting Chris Hansen?

[u/bigmediabuzz]

Looks like you got a booger.

[u/InfiniteWinter26]

6’1”? lol.

you’re wearing puma softrides. those have a clearance of 3.5”. stacking them from sole to top from the base of your feet to the top of your head puts you, at best, 5’9”

[u/Longhaul-shortbus]

You look like you groom little girls

[u/AttentionNo6359]

You can just say you have a humiliation kink man.

[u/brandothesavage]

You look like the guy that represents injectable ozympic.

[u/Tall_Birthday_7654]

You're a PC

[u/Oblipma]

People fantasize about you?? I doubt it

[u/connorftl]

You look like a dude who wants to be a volunteer fire fighter to try and give kids mouth to mouth unnecessarily

[u/jenbamin245]

Your partner is supportive of you attending your fantasy so she can live out hers with 3 guys she works with

[u/Ok-Impression-9020]

Scraping Nazi stickers off public infrastructure in San Diego?
Wow! We will just call you “The Man in the Arena.”
Thank you for showing so much courage.

[u/Ok-Impression-9020]

I’ve wondered for several years what a golden shower fetishist would look like.

[u/Head_Crab_Enjoyer]

You're the guy who reheats left over fish for lunch in the office microwave.

[u/Brian_1985]

I appreciate that you didn’t even try to make-up some type of romantic situation for yourself. All those hobbies and none involve making a woman wet

[u/atthebakesale]

U look like a hobbit in your photo how’d you do that big guy

[u/save-pandas]

Cool hobbies!!

[u/SarkyMarky420]

Are you tiny or just standing really, really far away?

[u/No_Cow_4544]

Congrats you picked a hobby that is a huge waste of time . Loser .

[u/Signal_Juice7506]

#1). Fantasy just started you’re lying
#2.) Nobody’s buying the 6’1
#3). The only thing accurate about your username is the slow part

Boom roasted

[u/Bornundersirius]

Do you keep the mustache when you move to a new house and are forced to tell people you're a convicted sex offender or do you try to play it down?

[u/CiloTA]

I think I’m leaving this sub over all these stupid ass fantasy football posts nobody gaf

[u/Nspired2]

Ryan gosling but with all the recessive genes

[u/Pristine_Tap_2735]

https://giphy.com/gifs/89x4osEodHEoo

[u/AkTx907830]

You look like a guy that say he works construction but is an office jockey named Matt in Escondido

[u/cornishpirate32]

Imagine being that old and playing fantasy football and then posting a picture of yourself as your 'punishment'.

What a sad life you must have.

[u/Darkurthe_]

The only thing more pathetic than your fantasy performance is that your league thinks that the 900th post like this is at all edgy.

[u/suprmix123]

You look like you jerk off in front of a mirror

[u/Perfect_University58]

You look at thick as the brick next to your foot

[u/Debo619]

I.C.E I.C.E Baby

https://giphy.com/gifs/MW86MbRN8cMqlIZRPe

[u/Creepy_Technician_34]

You drew the short straw….in everything.

[u/genericexcuse01]

While it might look like you’re removing those nazi stickers to help the community…you’re only adding them to your own personal collection.

[u/JoeKleveland]

Pervert.

[u/Consistent-Bowler95]

You look like someone held you upside down way too long

[u/Still_Experience_182]

Destroyed in the bedroom by all your guy lovers too I’m sure

[u/thehappybuzzsaw]

This is what being a basic white bitch looks like when you’re male.

[u/Sea_Secret6795]

You definitely got destroyed before fantasy football too

[u/Think-Habit3514]

I’m telling your parole officer your outside of a school again

[u/JigaroJiagro]

You look like you have to tell all your neighbors that “you’re on a list”.

[u/Slateraide]

You don’t seem to be doing great in reality either.

[u/CraftyIncrease3821]

It’s Waldo’s special needs brother.

[u/sohcordohc]

Leg and head ratio are off…

[u/Dramatic_Meal1469]

https://giphy.com/gifs/hpWVvrUoFMjpWD2C5B

[u/Hairy_Garage4308]

Good luck fighting the SS in San Diego. Remember...name, rank, service #.

[u/Inner-Cycle-24]

Doesn’t identify as gay, will definitely hold a 🍆 in his mouth till the swelling goes down though

[u/BigDaddyBruiser]

Temu Fix-It Felix

Edit: nope, not even Temu Fix-It Felix, you're Temu Fix-It Felix's Apartment Manager!

[u/proximusprimus57]

Destroyed at reality, too.

[u/Witches-brew-commie]

This guys balls have not been touched by a female in a minimum of 8-28 months . And he’s gay

[u/TheOmCollector]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3gSrMGN4lMFZXH4bSQ