I dated a 23 year old at age 37 for a few weeks, and yeah, even though she was fully an adult and perfectly smart and responsible, there was a definite disconnect on how much we each understood about the world, and how much experience we had that could have been… potentially abusable. She’d initiated the relationship, but I called it off after a bit mostly because it felt too lopsided in a way. Probably should have expected that.
30 and 21 is more of a gap than I would have done at 30, but it doesn't strike me as any real issue.
However. 39 and 23 is fucking weird. the gap between life experience is just so big that there's not any possible way that they can have any real mental or emotional connection- though I don't think any of think that's what Drake is pursuing.
Definitely not illegal or clearly immoral, but people are allowed clock when someone's behavior is creepy/weird/suspect. Not every negative behavior is a universally agreed upon sin or illegal or something.
What is this real life experience, people talk about...I go to work, and the grocery store...I'm an older guy and at work I hang out with mostly younger people...there's not much difference...people on here act like if your over 30 you already traveled the world
If you have nearly as much time growing and changing as an adult as the other person has been alive, and that person has really only been out on their own for a few years... you should have substantially more life experience, knowledge, emotional intelligence, etc....
if you find yourself at 40, connecting on a 'deep level' with a 25 year old... then you're suffering from arrested development or are an incredibly sad and boring person.
also, wild for you to tell me that i'm out of touch with the real world when out of the two of us, apparently only one has traveled said world and has continued to gain new hobbies, social circles, experiences, etc...
you don't have to travel the world to have grown as a person, though I strongly suggest you prioritize it as it's not as expensive as you seem to be implying.
But you SHOULD have 15 more years of life experience than them. You SHOULD continue meeting new people and making new friends.
You SHOULD be trying out new hobbies every few years and learning new things.
You SHOULD be reading.
You shouldn't be the same type of person doing the same type of shit you were doing at 25. that's depressing as fuck.
grew up below the poverty line. traveling can be done cheap if you want and if you plan ahead. I got a round trip to croatia for 600 bucks and if you don't stay in the touristy cities, food, lodging, and activities cost a fraction of what they cost in the US. Just gotta book well in advance.
Whatever the case. you don't have to travel to continue growing as a person.
If, at 40, your still doing the same shit you were doing at 25... no new hobbies, no new life experiences, etc... then that's entirely the result of your own choices.
I had plenty of growing life experiences when we were on food stamps. You can't blame money when you're on the internet with access to all the world's knowledge and can continue your personal growth in any of a billion different ways.
the gap between life experience is just so big that there's not any possible way that they can have any real mental or emotional connection
this is such a strange attitude to me, because if you said that a 39 year old and a 23 year old can't have "any real mental or emotional connection" in any context other than a sexual or romantic relationship, people would (correctly) reply that that's a load of horse shit
is it harder to have stuff in common with that big of an age gap? of course. But there are plenty of other non-age factors that make it as hard or harder to have stuff in common, and people mostly don't give a shit about those
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u/SPZ_Ireland 22h ago edited 19h ago
To be fair, she's 23 years old.
What a 39 year old dude is doing pursuing that is another topic entirely but I'm not sure we can call her underage or call it grooming.