Petah

[u/shehan_dmg]

[u/crokycrok]

Same. And I do not want any hindrance on my legs...

[u/jaxonya → u/crokycrok]

Nurse checking in.. Some of yall seriously need to switch up your diets. You should not be struggling like this

[u/chefianf → u/jaxonya]

Chef here with experience in healthcare, I can help with this

[u/space-hemax-c2c → u/chefianf]

Plumber here

[u/AnybodyWannaPeanus → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Yo what’s a surefire toilet? Last time I bought one, they sold me on being able to flush 12 golf balls. Apparently I need one that can flush 12 golf balls covered in a jar of peanut butter.

Maybe I just need less colon.

[u/space-hemax-c2c → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

I just play a plumber on Reddit but I’d say try more semicolon.

[u/AmosBurtin → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Or…fiber

[u/stoopidclod → u/AmosBurtin]

Beans, those should help

[u/ravoguy → u/stoopidclod]

Or stop eating golf balls and peanut butter

[u/Connect_Biscotti_784 → u/ravoguy]

No

[u/AnotherUN91 → u/Connect_Biscotti_784]

The right answer.

[u/Prestigious-Top-5897 → u/AnotherUN91]

And my axe!

[u/lokibringer → u/stoopidclod]

Liam, is that you?

[u/stoopidclod → u/lokibringer]

Na, just a fan🙃

[u/iPhonefondler → u/AmosBurtin]

What’s does high-speed internet have to do with this

[u/DonComradeVimes → u/iPhonefondler]

I'm very glad I was not the only one who went there.

[u/Quick_End2366 → u/AmosBurtin]

Super Colon Blow!

[u/These-Nectarine9214 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

I hate how hard I laughed at this

[u/Necrotic69 → u/These-Nectarine9214]

I started laughing hard and it triggered some sort of coughing response (currently recovering from flu), I seriously had issues taking in a breath to the point I was seeing stars and thought i was about to pass out....ya, I freaked out

[u/Fun-Heron-7609 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Better than no colon.

[u/Tune-Scared → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Underrated comment right there ☝️🤣

[u/PapaByrd75 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

:boooo::

[u/PlaneJackfruit5614 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Gastroenterologist here

[u/MotorBoatinOdin1 → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

Your going to want to get yourself an American standard Vormax toilet thats gonna be your top tier power for residential - above that were talking commercial flushing

[u/AnybodyWannaPeanus → u/MotorBoatinOdin1]

This is the DD I need. The Champion just doesn’t. Always get the job done. The vormax seems more serious.
Thanks!

[u/Veteran_Hawk → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

Had a gf with megacolon - she had most of it removed and ended up with chronic diarrhea. Believe me, you want one that's just the right size.

And if you have to dig it out...you need to see a doctor.

[u/AnybodyWannaPeanus → u/Veteran_Hawk]

Did they have to go from mega to micro? Sounds like someone was a bit overzealous…

[u/Veteran_Hawk → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

They had to remove as much of the diseased colon as possible, while still leaving some.

[u/AnybodyWannaPeanus → u/Veteran_Hawk]

Man, megacolon sounds so cool… then I read about it. No thank you. Poor gf.

[u/ML5815 → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

My husband is obsessed with our new toilet, the Kohler Cimmaron. He said you could flush 5lbs of old spaghetti in one go and nothing would be left in the bowl. Pretty concerned about his insides now, but relieved to know where to go in a spaghetti emergency.

[u/meatyylegend → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

Put in a power flush toilet, and throw your plunger away.

[u/AnybodyWannaPeanus → u/meatyylegend]

The encouragement I needed.

[u/rworne → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

12 golf balls are not reasonable. A simple brick would suffice as a toilet test.

[u/Doomdoomkittydoom → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

Did someone steal your poop knife or something?

[u/LemonOhs → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

My family invested in one of those power flushing toilets they use in the hospitals. It's so loud when it flushes it scares people. I recommend it.

[u/0knoi8datShit → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

I don’t golf!

[u/iamshifter → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

The tech has advanced. Now 12 billiards balls is the standard we go by.

[u/Dawns_Coil → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

Gerber/avalanche
Gerber/ultraflush
Toto/Drake

[u/KiloChonker → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

Sir/ma'am you need a Turbo Toilet 5000©®™

[u/TooDooDaDa → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

You need to switch up to pool table balls

[u/JJfender → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

You needed the one that can flush 9 billiard balls.

[u/throneaway-- → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

You could try using a semicolon ;)

[u/ChaseSomeTail → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

I need one that can flush a jar of peanut butter filled with golf balls

[u/Nadasuffering → u/AnybodyWannaPeanus]

I have less colon. It’s not the flex you think it is.

[u/Winter_Aspect_8675 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

You ever looked a man in the eye's, a constipated man, desperate for relief, while you snaked him?

[u/edebt → u/Winter_Aspect_8675]

There's a few ways to interpret this sentence, all of them hilarious and gross.

[u/squirleydan → u/edebt]

Sometimes you just need a good plunging.

[u/Rito_Moga → u/Winter_Aspect_8675]

Yes, but I had to pay extra for it.

[u/NeeMaToad47 → u/Winter_Aspect_8675]

I bet you became besties after that though

[u/Maleficent_Memory831 → u/Winter_Aspect_8675]

Eye contact is always vital.

[u/rbartlejr → u/Winter_Aspect_8675]

No. But I have needed that on occasion.

[u/the_rbaucom → u/Winter_Aspect_8675]

Umm can you explain the snaked him action? Or do I need to do a screenshot and a "ask peter"?

[u/FuManBoobs → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Now kiss

[u/therealdxm → u/FuManBoobs]

[u/Background_Note6281 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Receptionist here.

[u/baabaablacksheep1111 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

A ball valve and some pvc cement would fix it in a jiffy.

[u/RiffyWammel → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Just stand by, We'll call you back later- Waiting for the Pyro handler to arrive first 😁

[u/nomeansnocatch22 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Magician here

[u/moonbucket → u/space-hemax-c2c]

And my axe.

[u/edavidfb017 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Math teacher here.

[u/BlizzardK2 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Admin assistant who just likes to feel included here 👋

[u/I-ate-your-children → u/space-hemax-c2c]

dont let nurse and chef help or plumber will go out of business

[u/Electronic_Eye_4133 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

[u/lolo787 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

I just wanted to add, as a former plumber, I do get naked as well but the boss didn’t like that, thought he’s ok with taking a shit in the bucket

[u/silentsurge → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Hi Maven, guys here!

[u/rusty_dusty_crusty_ → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Currently shitting person here

[u/AeonBith → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Hvac, ex chef with first aid training here.

I can set your thermostat to have a comfy deuce. Don't forget to run on the exhaust fan please.

[u/McNasty51 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Finally, found the right person

[u/ChaseSomeTail → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Pills here! - Bill (Left 4 Dead)

[u/AdAdministrative4388 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

Plunger here

[u/ArchitectureLife006 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

IT here… we don’t do biologicals

[u/BigJP01 → u/space-hemax-c2c]

HVAC checking in