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u/Valuable-Trick-6711 1d ago
“I’ll Be Stoned For Christmas”
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u/lbw23b 1d ago
"Stoned for the Holidays" if there's a jewish friend involved.
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u/Opposite_Bus1878 1d ago
My melanated friends celebrate Stonezaa
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u/wtf-m8 1d ago
A Cannabis for the rest of us
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u/TheGreatZarquon 1d ago
"I gotta lot of problems with you people! And...that's just fine, man, we'll figure them out. You wanna hit this joint?"
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u/AlizarinQ 1d ago
Add a g-rated queer romance subplot for the younger sibling and you’ll hit all the bases
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u/No_Internal9345 1d ago
Get Timothee Chalamet to kiss Tom Holland under a mistletoe and you'll break the internet.
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u/Ubiquitous_Cacophony 23h ago
I am a Jew. Hanukkah is one of our least important holidays.
Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish new year) starts on this upcoming Friday. Hell, Tashlich in and of itself is more important.
Whenever someone wishes me happy Hanukkah, I am polite, but I always know that they just want to feel inclusive. They don't actually care about celebrating important Jewish holidays.
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u/caro822 1d ago
With Harold and Kumar which will be even funnier as (I’m assuming as I’ve never seen the White Castle movies) that neither are Christian/celebrate Xmas.
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u/ElongThrust0 1d ago
They made a Harold and Kumar christmas one and its pretty funny
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u/Opposite_Bus1878 1d ago
A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas came so close to this plot but not quite.
In that universe Santa can still drive while stoned and taking bong rips so no one had to fill in for him. But they did have to step in to save Christmas because Harold accidentally shot Santa in the head with a shotgun and Kumar had to perform emergency surgery to ensure the presents got delivered.
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u/beepbooponyournose 1d ago
I watch it every December lol
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u/Starfire2313 1d ago
I watch fight club every Christmas! Might have to add this to the list. Halloween I watch The Thing. Taking suggestions for unhinged Thanksgiving movies maybe it’ll be this one
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u/rw1618 1d ago
Planes trains and automobiles is the standard classic
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u/BoldestKobold 1d ago
I hated this movie so much when I watched it as a kid. I think that should have been the first sign I had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. Every single thing the main characters did made me uncomfortable and pissed me off. I just felt very uneasy the entire way through.
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u/Disastrous-Animal111 1d ago
2023 horror moving called Thanksgiving and then the ultra crazy, funny horror ThanksKilling from 2008.
If you're into that vibe.
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u/beepbooponyournose 1d ago
Home for the Holidays is a funny Thanksgiving movie. Around Thanksgiving we also watch Thanksgiving episodes of our favorite old shows (Friends and Roseanne have a few each)
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u/AxelHarver 1d ago
Ugh, it's a shame Roseanne is such an insufferable person. I loved the show growing up, and now I don't even want to see her face lmao.
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u/beepbooponyournose 1d ago
Somehow I’m able to see the Old Roseanne and the New Roseanne as separate people lol
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u/MasterSaturday 1d ago
Addams Family Values, maybe? Doesn't take place at Thanksgiving, but the side plot is about Wednesday and Pugsley being in a play about it.
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u/MrWeirdoFace 1d ago
I did not know there was a 3rd Harold and Kumar movie. I'm not even sure I saw the 2nd. 1st was dumb fun though.
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u/Luckz17 1d ago
Ok, I had never heard of this movie and I was not expecting the ending of your comment LMAO
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u/explicitlarynx 1d ago
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u/scadabadootz 1d ago
If they dig through r/nosleep they'll have some solid horror/thrillers I'd be fucking stoked to see on film
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u/Mikemanthousand 1d ago
The lamp
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u/TheG0AT0fAllTime 1d ago
☹️
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u/camptowndavey 1d ago
Oh so we're just casting Inde Navarette in everything now? typical hollywood.
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u/Doctor-Amazing 1d ago
The trick is to go back even further. Slenderman started as a random photoshop on the Something Awful forums. Where's my cinematic reboot of Doom House
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u/PostEnjoyer 20h ago
Old enough to remember the actual reboot of Doom House which was Mood House, where everything was reversed
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u/iWillRe1gn 1d ago
2027 - CBAT: One Thrust Too Many
2028 - Cylinder-Man
2029 - The Real Battlefront: The EA Comment
2030 - Chudvengers
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u/RepresentativeFood11 1d ago
The Simpson's recently (as far as I know) literally released an entire episode following the reddit lamp story where the guy realised his whole life was in a coma.
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u/Jediboy127 1d ago
“Dude, Where’s My Sleigh??”
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u/Ancient_Work4758 1d ago
Id rather see high Santa have to deliver the gifts
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u/MovieTrawler 1d ago
I'm just picturing something like Violent Night but with a stoner twist. Keep Harbour as Santa. New adventure, less violent more stoner comedy with bits of action like Pineapple Express. Violent Nights 3: Elfed Up.
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u/itscoraldrift 1d ago
They need to do this. And Seth Rogan needs to be in it FOR SURE
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u/Not_Henry_Winkler 1d ago
As Santa!
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u/Katzington2319 1d ago
"Ho Ho Huhuhuhuhuhuh"
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u/unripe_mangosteen 1d ago
Obligatory:
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u/rice-a-rohno 1d ago
"Obligatory" is a pretty strong word to use...
That being said, I'm gonna watch that again right now. And once more for good measure. Fuck.
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u/yetiinrio 1d ago
the last time Seth Rogen did a Christmas thing it didn’t go over too well
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u/thatquietmenace 1d ago
Are you talking about The Night Before? Or something else?
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u/yetiinrio 1d ago
Santa Inc., 1.8/10 on imdb
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u/_topkecleon_ 1d ago
Putting funny weed man into it is guaranteed to turn it into just another one of funny weed man's movies.
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u/Beefsupreme473 1d ago
Seth Rogan hasn't been funny without James Franco at all sucks he was a creepy molester but Seth Rogan just isn't funny solo.
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u/MrdnBrd19 1d ago
Make the main characters college kids coming home for their first Christmas being home, then have a secondary side plot where the high school aged younger sibling has to take care of the high Santa while ensuring no one in the family or neighborhood discovers that he's Santa. They can throw in some corny lines from the high school kid that he's never going to get high after having to watch Santa.
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u/Trezzie 1d ago
The ending scene has to be the family enjoying a nice Christmas dinner with the wrong brownies.
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u/Wise-Key-3442 1d ago
Then the movie ends with the two protagonists and the side plot kid looking at the camera with awkward/horrified faces that says "oh crap", but before they can say anything, high pop music starts as the screen immediately goes black and the credits roll.
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u/BSSCommander 1d ago
Christmas night. Lightly snowing outside. All in the house are quiet.
Fireplace shows Santa slowly sliding down and inside the house.
Leaves several presents under the Christmas tree. One of which is clearly a bong with how it was wrapped.
Before departing Santa sees a plate of a cookies. Eats several. Mumbles to himself "Hmm pretty good." And takes the whole plate with him.
Slides back up the chimney
As soon as his feet disappear one of the protagonists comes into frame walking around the corner, rubbing their eyes from being so tired.
They start looking for the plate of cookies, but can't find them anywhere.
Other protagonist comes down to see the commotion.
They begin arguing about the plate of THC cookies. Accusing each other of hiding them for themselves.
At the height of their argument the audience sees Santa fall past their window from the roof.
Both protagonists look at each and then run outside to find an injured, but alive Santa.
Santa is too high to function or feel the pain from his broken arm. He ate all of the THC cookies.
It's up to the protagonists to save Christmas.
You're welcome Hollywood. Send me my check in the mail.
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u/SlickWilly49 1d ago
If we want it to be a realistic Santa movie, those things would only hit like 50 minutes later when he’s over China
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u/IndependentBid1854 14h ago
Meanwhile, Santa is off stoned out his gourd and helping people rediscover the joy of Christmas inadvertently.
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u/Valten78 1d ago
This sounds like kind of movie Seth Rogan and James Franco would have made 15 years ago.
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u/ChrisPy_Poke 1d ago
Haha right, we got the wholesome movie where "checks notes" santa is killed? And someone has to take over due to north pole beaurocracy
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u/Particular_Ticket_20 1d ago
*Tubi.
Stupid autocorrect...Stoned River Santas is the name of my new band.
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u/uselessopinionman 1d ago
Haha this was the premise of one of my video projects.
Trey and Waiya Save Christmas 2: Santas special batch
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u/ceebeefour 1d ago
The Twelve Haze of Kushmas
Rudolph the Red Eyed Straindeer
Silent Night (of staying home and smoking za)
That’s just off the top of the dome.
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u/yuukosbooty 1d ago
Apparently when I was little my parents were taping A Charlie Brown Christmas on the VCR but part of it got overwritten by some show where a guy was saying “give me all your drugs!”
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u/mrintangibles1 1d ago
Because there's no target audience. Too kiddy for stoners, too druggy for kids.
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u/Look_its_Rob 1d ago
Just because it has Santa doesnt mean it has go be "kiddy" tho. Southpark is about 4th graders AND features Santa and is enjoyed by adults.
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u/HungryHedgehog8299 1d ago
not quite the same kind of comedy as this would be but Violent Night is an awesome Christmas movie and NOT for children at all
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u/vbullinger 1d ago
I let my then nine year old watch it this past year
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u/HungryHedgehog8299 1d ago
Interesting. I suppose kids CAN watch it but they’re definitely not the intended audience
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u/Final-Tutor3631 1d ago edited 1d ago
bros never watched “bad santa”
“you are really santa, right?”
“no, im an accountant. i wear this thing as a fucking fashion statement, alright?”
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u/CaptainCrustyNipples 1d ago
Ah yes, stoners are way too sophisticated to enjoy kiddy movies.
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u/Wise-Key-3442 1d ago
I have some stoner neighbors who like more kid oriented movies. One time while I was watering my garden I heard some of them discussing the unrealistic setting of K-pop Demon Hunters on how no way the girls would get away with all that being Korean idols, while the smell of Mary Jane was in the air. At one point one of them said "I think you need a fatter joint to fully appreciate the movie". They spammed Golden for the whole week afterwards.
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u/Automatic_Bus_7634 1d ago
I'm sorry but this comment reflects a lack of understanding of both kids' humor and stoner humor
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u/BrainLow6059 1d ago
Too kiddy for stoners
This is kind of the entire stoner comedy genre though? All you have to do is throw in some slutty house wives waiting for Santa and now it's an adult stoner comedy.
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u/Aetheldrake 1d ago
That sounds awful. There's already been a few "we gotta replace Santa/save Christmas" movies anyway
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u/Syeth 1d ago
Sounds like "The Santa Clause" only without killing Santa. Just giving him a good time instead. I'd watch it.
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u/FixFun1959 1d ago
Michael Shannon is fucking hilarious in ‘The Night Before’. A Seth Rogan drug field Christmas movie.
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u/pendelton21 1d ago
I remember hearing this on a podcast, except it was a script that wasn't picked up, and the two stoners were also Jewish so they had to figure out Christmas traditions on the fly as the night went on.
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u/GrowlingPict 1d ago
You need to bring back the early 2000s for a movie like that. It's too late now.
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u/EasyBend 1d ago
Probable Claus Intent to supply Narc the halls Blitzened Christmas deal Christmas bud Hashed Christmas
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u/TrapaholicDixtapes 1d ago
Because stoner movies typically suck and themed holiday movies typically suck. Lol
No one wants to be the one to put that chocolate in that peanut butter.
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u/MasterpieceNew3543 1d ago
Harold and kumae sqve christmas. Bonus we see them ad family men and judt all in all baked while santa.
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u/GenericFatGuy 1d ago
Is anyone still making stoner movies? It seems like they peaked in the late 2000s to early 2010s.
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u/theregularlion 1d ago
Any Hollywood execs who are currently mining social media for the next low budget hit, here it is. You found it
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u/ever-heart 1d ago
This reminds me of the Young Justice 98 comic plotline where they see Santa get blown up, and have to spend like 4 months delivering it all themselves.
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u/qualityvote2 1d ago
Heya u/step6666! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!
For everyone else, do you think OP's post fits this community? Let us know by upvoting this comment!
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