r/MurderBryan 2d ago

Real World Guys "I AM AN ELITE SALES WARRIOR"

The last job before you apply to ICE.

Upvotes

14 comments sorted by

u/mind_snare HxC Guy 2d ago

Something about screaming I have no ego, I have no entitlement while pounding your chest and standing on a chair doesn’t quite match up

u/Helmic 2d ago

i almost fucking passed out laughing at that part, had to lay down on my desk for a minute.

u/Which-Arrival6777 SKA GUY 2d ago

is that right? lets see how good you are trying to sell Bryan a mattress

u/A_Ditto_Called_Jack 2d ago

Pretty sure I can point him straight too the most expensive model.

u/ranger51 2d ago

If it’s the most expensive it has to be the best one

u/PoorDunce 2d ago

I feel like the kind of guy who needs to infuse every facet of their life with this sort of vibe just needs to be put into a simulation where they get live in the Starship Troopers universe

u/Pipeguy17 Warhammer 40k Guy 2d ago

Chris "Gris" "Mr. Cheapy Refunds" James would strike at these posers from a hidden tunnel network in the jungle like the Viet Cong.

u/imgettingnerdchills 2d ago

URGENT!! PLEASE CALL MY CELLPHONE IMMEDITALTELY OUTLOOK SAYS THAT I HAVE FOGOTTEN MY PASSWORD AND I CANNOT LOG IN. WHY DID HELPDESK CHANGE MY PASSWORD. I AM A TOP SALES PERSON AND EVERY MINUTE I AM LOCKED OUT OF OUTLOOK IT COSTS THE COMPANY MONEY AND I AM NOT ABLE TO REACH MY MONTHLY GOALS.

THANK YOU!!

u/Optimal-Scarcity2004 2d ago

This sucks so much

u/Howamidriving27 2d ago

Some real "take their keys on false pretenses and refuse to give them back until they agree to a sale" energy.

Yes this happened to my wife and I (no we didn't buy the car).

u/ilovethepropane LEGO GUY 2d ago

Buy these fucking solar panels!!

Our competitive finance plans MAKE THEM PAY FOR THEMSELVES!!

😡 😤WHAT COULD YOUR FAMILY DO WITH AN EXTRA $200 A MONTH?! ☄️🔥

u/ManufacturedOlympus 1d ago

If all that’s true, why don’t you sell bill gates a piece of paper for $20 billion? 

u/Appropriate_Dish_164 1d ago

Sell me this pen

u/flourwaterlad Cheap Guy 13h ago
  1. how did they get identical quadruplets to lead their sales training?

  2. is that Jocko on the screen in the back?