r/MadeMeSmile 4h ago

ANIMALS Turtles when a job requires exactly 0 turtles lol

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u/Dame_Niafer 4h ago

Good grief I had no idea they were such cute li'l pests! This is adorable!

u/Portable-fun 4h ago

I like turtles

u/Nikoyoo 4h ago

Cowabunga!

u/Azuras_Star8 3h ago

"Tonight I dine on turtle soup!"

u/Siege_LL 3h ago

Calm down, Shredder.

u/Azuras_Star8 2h ago

Yes! Its the line from Shredder from the NES game back in '89!

u/BumbleCityFumblers 3h ago

I understood that reference.

u/Ok_Personality7485 3h ago

Me too, how's your back?

u/BumbleCityFumblers 2h ago

Feels like it's always just one good pop away that'll never happen.

u/Ride-At-Dawn 2h ago

Have to sleep on my side

u/Kenspiration 2h ago

😂😞

u/SomeTheyCallMePig5O 4m ago

Back is fine, but my knees are telling me it’s gonna rain soon.

u/Dear_Salt_3757 3h ago

I have the ref. The kid

u/ze11ez 3h ago

🤣 he was so funny though

u/CptnDillweed 3h ago

Johnathan is that you?

u/Vaxus335 3h ago

I haven't seen this referenced in so long that I genuinely forgot about it. Thank you, gonna go watch the clip.

u/brightonashfield 4h ago

You only think you like turtles, but if you knew what they were truly thinking you would be horrified

u/LiveLikeARiver 3h ago

They’re thinking about pizza and cowabunga, right?

u/PaulNissenson 3h ago

Radical

u/Pure_Parking_2742 2h ago

A little TOO radical

u/WDoE 2h ago

Yeah, pretty rude to not offer a plastic bag or some straws. Very inconsiderate. Dudes know how to party

u/PM-Me-Spread-Pussy 2h ago

Alllright! You're a great zombie! 🧟‍♀️ Good times!

u/JMurdock77 2h ago

Tortoises too. I’ve lost so much time watching The Tortoise Whisperer feed cactus pads to Ike. Wonder whatever happened to that guy, he stopped making new videos.

u/UniqueNameTakenSad 2h ago

I like trains!

u/nosnoob11 2h ago

I like trains

u/Nopalite 3h ago

All turtles and tortoises seem to love back scratches. Something about not being able to reach back there or something, i am not sure.

u/spc67u 3h ago

My sister has a tortoise named Leonard and you’re right he loves his back scratches! Especially right above his tail on the shell it’s like extra sensitive there or something!

u/Dont-Really-Matter 2h ago

Awwwww 🥰

u/in_a_pickle_97 1h ago

They have nerve endings in their shell that are INCREDIBLY receptive - to pain, to touch, or anything else. It's partly due to the fact they can't get scratches on their own, for sure, but to a turtle, getting a back scratch is like getting a full luxury spa treatment you paid $250 for. They basically feel every bristle.

u/Nopalite 1h ago

If i were a turtle I would have nightmares about barnacles and if I were a tortoise I would feel the same about moss.

u/in_a_pickle_97 1h ago

Unfortunately barnacles are indeed very painful to sea turtles. They're pretty often sedated when undergoing removal.

Barnacles are horrid creatures. At least moss is less "intelligent", though still no less dangerous.

u/Nopalite 1h ago

Tbh i hate sea anemones more than barnacles but a dixie cup size barnacle still makes me wanna dry heave. The fact that animals can form fleshy living crusts over rocks is just blergh.

Trypophobia is a beach. Coral seems fine tho.

u/Lefty4444 3h ago

Also the guy cleaning is obviously on /r/oddlysatisfying

u/a_guy121 3h ago

That fails to satisfy me, I'm just thinking of how much turtle shit is still floating in the water, if he can sweep up the sediment from the top of the tank that easy

what does the bottom of the tank look like/?? bad dreams, thats what.

u/beautiful_trash09 3h ago

Theres probably something that maintains and circulate clean water in the system while sucking up all unwanted prticles. theyre scrubbing sht to make it easy for that

u/panrestrial 3h ago

Pool filters and skimmers do a great job removing stuff like that but it needs to be carried in the water not settled on the bottom for that to work. Same reason pools that don't get swam in regularly get funky faster than those that do.

u/CMDRZhor 2h ago

I remember somebody who used to work at their local zoo telling about how they had this one big ol turtle that was a complete pest for scritches. The thing was that she was endangered and the zoo had a list of very specific people who were allowed to touch her and the poster wasn't on that list. So this big ass turtle would swim up to them while they were cleaning her enclosure, start bothering them for scritches, and get increasingly huffy and petulant when they had to ignore her.

"I would love to pet you but I caaaaaant, I'm soooorryyyyy"

u/brainsareoverrated27 2h ago

Then they need to install one of those cow brushy thingies. Poor turtle.

u/Dont-Really-Matter 2h ago

Ooooo omg yes!!! The cow brushy thingy that spins!!!!

u/Kind_Of_A_Dick 3h ago

Animals love stimulation.  You should see how interested in stuff cows get when a new thing enters the pasture.  In the wild they’d be stimulated by the constant fight for survival, but they still want to experience the world.  There was a gorilla in a zoo, I believe, who started cleaning her enclosure after seeing the cleaners clean her enclosure so many times.

u/Serpentarrius 1h ago

This is giving me such good worldbuilding ideas

u/lostmyoldscreenname 3h ago

They were like sea puppies 😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹

u/spookyspocky 1h ago

Nay - they are cat-urtles

Source: my cat does the same thing when I am in bed

u/Dolonopsy 2h ago

Once when visiting an aquarium, the staff was doing an ask the divers segment at one of the tanks and one of the turtles was an absolute menace and wouldn't leave the poor diver alone, she kept having to swim away only for the turtle to follow.

u/Davissunu 3h ago

Meanwhile I have an uncle that had just picked up a turtle from the ground and asked me if I wanted turtle soup. I said no he then proceeded to smash it calling them pests. He was a rice paddy farmer.

u/Dont-Really-Matter 2h ago

Who the f u callin a pest