Long distance GF asks for permission to meet men on “friends” apps.

[u/Original-Disaster106]

My GF and I are long distance. 3 hours apart. it’s hard but we’re making it work. We’ve been dating a year.

Last Saturday night she asked me if she could start making friends with men on “bumble friends”. I asked her why she couldn’t make friends with women, and she said, “I have a hard time making friends with women, men are so much easier to get along with.” I told her that it sounded like she wanted to go on dates with other men. She assured me that “No, it’s not that, men are just easier to be friends with, I don’t want to date anyone but you.” I told her that I wasn’t okay with this, and if she wanted to meet up with other men from “friends” apps, we’d have to break up because it crossed a like for me.

She relented and said that she wouldn’t meet men over friends apps.

I am still turned off by the entire conversation and I am considering breaking up with her. Clearly she is trying to meet other single men one on one and date them.

Thoughts?

[u/His_Name_Is_Twitler]

It’s over.

[u/ElKingBR]

You are only 3 hours apart and things have come to this? That is bad news

[u/onionprincesswakaba]

time to break up

[u/Handymanllc]

Absolutely not ok

[u/Ry_Hunter15]

https://giphy.com/gifs/5NbbVJeSLs1etZYjpT
It’s over buddy. She doesn’t respect you.

[u/ComputerImpossible65]

Her avoiding finding female friends says enough

[u/Previous-Log5976]

Being friends with the opposite gender (or whatever gender you're attracted to) is fine, but purposely going out to specifically befriend them is a red flag. Also any woman who finds men "easier to get along with" than women to the point where she seeks them out rather than just meeting people naturally is super weird.

[u/izyshoroo]

3 hours is not long distance, and she knows this is a massive violation of your trust and is doing it to test your boundaries. Responding by ending it would be reasonable. She's already broken your trust and she is aware of it. Healthy people don't request these types of things

[u/Angxlmilk]

first of all, yuck. secondly, any type of girl who says “it’s easier to be friends with men” is straight up lying.

[u/ArkSyil]

Weird, I used bumble friends and I only got same sex options, as in I only saw women.

But yeah, it's definitely a NO.

[u/ArkSyil → u/ArkSyil]

Also I agree that 3 hours is not really long distance. Mid distance maybe. So you should be able to see each other at least once per week, like a lot of couple do with no distance. I think there's more to your relationship than just this one problem

[u/liz610 → u/ArkSyil]

I've seen men in my bumble friends app. It confused me at first

[u/Twidollyn_Bowie]

My partner and I are fine with existing opposite sex friends, but I wouldn’t be comfortable with him going out of his way to specifically make new friends who are women. That’s weird. I’m sure he’d feel the same in reverse, even though we have very high trust in each other.

[u/abeBroham-Linkin]

Wow, I live in the states and here I am with a LDR with someone in the Philippines, lol. I'd kill to have 3hr time difference

[u/AstroleagueSystem]

Man, just when I think I can’t see worst, I see it.😭

[u/motoyo-rika]

Hell no. Insane behavior.

[u/Abhiean]

3 hours apart? We are 5000 km apart and yet that thought never occur to my gf.

[u/chicharito1821]

3 hours is not long distance

[u/dinasour1004 → u/chicharito1821]

Tbh I agree, it’s more medium. If me and my bf suddenly lived only a 3-hour drive from each other, we’d be jumping for joy

[u/chicharito1821 → u/dinasour1004]

I’m from NYC and my gf is all the way in Mexico so I’d kill to only be 3 hours apart

[u/OsvmaBinSmashin → u/chicharito1821]

East coast of US to Wales. Ticks me off a lil when people call ts long distance, when it’s a few hour drive. We’d kill for that kinda distance. Instead, it’s 4k miles and a 5 hour time zone change. It’s so worth it, hardly a day goes by where we don’t desperately wish to be with one another

[u/greeneggiwegs → u/OsvmaBinSmashin]

We can play the distance game all day. I'm on the east coast of the US and my BF is in Australia. As long as they aren't in the same city it's whatever to me.

[u/Small-Cartoonist5309 → u/OsvmaBinSmashin]

I mean long distance is relative. Alltho i agree 3 hours is not that long, could easily see eachother every weekend if money for gas/train etc is not an issue.

[u/chicharito1821 → u/OsvmaBinSmashin]

Yea I feel you and we always video chat and message each every day until I can go back in November. I hope we can all close the gap one day.

[u/Anonymous_13218 → u/dinasour1004]

For real 😭 my bf and I have an ocean separating us, being able to drive 3 hours to see him would be amazing

[u/FamiliarAd8524]

Normally I would be tolerant here, but this one is a serious problem for several reasons, not the least of which being what these guys think is going on.

[u/Justan0therthrow4way]

I’ll be probably downvoted to oblivion for this.

Putting aside using the apps, if she was making friends that included guys would that be an issue?

Does she have many friends? Have you told her you’re uncomfortable with her having male friends?

[u/Garry-Love → u/Justan0therthrow4way]

I think you're missing the point. OP doesn't have a problem with her having guy friends, he has a problem with her going out of her way to meet guys on bumble. Like it's one thing to be friends with a guy from work and another to advertise that you're lonely and looking for male attention on the internet when you have a boyfriend

[u/B777X_787-9]

Say yes you can meet but we done

[u/ChefsAreBetter]

Men are easy to make friends with because they want to sleep with her... bro, yeah... move on. Seriously, I almost never give that advice. Im a "you can work it out" kinda guy, but thats a huge no for me.

[u/RatKing_KingofRats01]

Nah, tell her you’ll start only looking for female friends and that you and her are done

[u/asparaguswalrus683]

Bro😭😭😭😭😭

[u/BurningBlaise]

Ah hell na

[u/IcecreamXV]

Chic starts saying she wants platonic men I remember my first GF, "Platonic male friends are a yanno what in a glass case for use just in case"

[u/Iamuniquekarki]

yeah bro, ggs. quit while you can

[u/SecHealUS]

This is a bad sign; perhaps you should give it more thought.

[u/tunafish91]

Oh no

[u/Deep_Pepper_5405]

I have a hard time making friends with women, men are so much easier to get along with

I can't deal with people like this.

[u/Caprisal]

You are absolutely correct in your assessment.

[u/MrCharlie_84]

Haul azz and don't look back. It's a test to see if you stand on principles or that your a sucker.

[u/ElBolloDiablo]

Dude. 3 hours is not long distance. Hell, I live in northern Sweden and I regularly drive 3 hours just to do some shopping.

[u/balljointzombie]

lol

[u/Celatra]

YALL ARE 3 HOURS APART, LIKE ONLY A FEW CITIES AWAY AND THIS IS STILL AN ISSUE?

[u/Responsible-Low-5281]

gg

[u/ChocolateGag]

brother 3 hours is a mid distance relationship

[u/SpaceImpossible658]

Now she just lying to you. She going to do it. You're long distance, she can get away with it and she knows it. The conversation alone tells you where the relationship is going. She's lonely and wants more men around, not women. She didn't even consider a women friend.

[u/VynessaBee]

Absolutely not. She is gnnna cheat on u

[u/fialetta]

Omg and only 3 hours apart?! Yikes 😬

[u/MaBasthoris]

Long distance? 3 Hours is a dream and a drive I would take daily to be with my fiancé. Break it off.

[u/TwelveSixFive]

3 hours apart is long distance? That's a normal relationship no?

[u/jaachaamo]

She ain't loyal.