If someone you love is becoming deeply involved in ISKCON, please read this before you dismiss the red flags.
I have spent roughly 20 years living with the consequences of ISKCON inside my family.
I wasn’t an ISKCON devotee, but I was the child who had to live with one.
My mother found ISKCON when she was at one of the most vulnerable points in her life. She was struggling with depression and desperately looking for hope and meaning. My maternal uncle was already a very serious ISKCON devotee and eventually became a sannyasi, giving up ordinary family life to dedicate himself to the movement.
My mother followed him. At first, I think ISKCON genuinely gave her something she needed. Hope and a community- A reason for her to keep going.
But over the years, that spiritual practice became increasingly rigid. And eventually, the entire family had to live according to it.
I was around 12–15 years old when it became a major part of my life.
I was forced to follow Ekadashi fasting.
I was made to feel guilty for eating onion and garlic because they were considered spiritually impure/sinful.
Normal teenage things like watching movies, TV, going shopping, eating food from friends box (who were non iskcon folks), etc, became religious issues.
The message was increasingly that ordinary pleasure was Maya, something pulling you away from Krishna.
And when you’re at an impressionable age, you don’t have the intellectual freedom to distinguish between “this is my mother’s religious belief” and “this is objectively how the universe works.”
You just follow the person you trust. I did the same - followed whatever my mom insisted during my early teens.
But as I grew older, when I was in college, I started questioning. I had stronger opinions as I started doing my own research on who is god, and how do we connect with the god, etc.
And that’s where I think things become dangerous. The more I dug deeper and asked questions, the more arguments I had with my mother.
The more she forced me into iskcon in the name of guilt, I started observing some really BAD, glaring things that ISKCON openly presents till date:
1. The “us vs. them” mentality
ISKCON’s theology places Krishna as the Supreme Personality of Godhead and describes other Hindu deities such as Shiva, Durga and Muruga as subordinate beings/demigods.
That’s not merely a philosophical distinction when it is imposed on a family. It can make other Hindu traditions appear inferior or spiritually misguided.
For a religion that comes from the incredibly diverse ecosystem of Sanatana Dharma, I find this exclusivity deeply troubling.
2. “Bhagavad Gita As It Is” becomes THE TRUE GITA
One of the most damaging things I experienced was the absolute confidence with which Prabhupada’s interpretation was treated as the authentic meaning of the Bhagavad Gita.
The Gita has been interpreted by numerous Hindu philosophical traditions for centuries. But questioning Prabhupada’s interpretation within my family was almost equivalent to questioning spiritual truth itself. ISKCON heavily privileges bhakti yoga while other approaches such as jnana and karma yoga are often subordinated to its devotional framework. And Prabhupada didn’t exactly demonstrate intellectual generosity toward competing spiritual teachers.
He made extremely harsh remarks about other spiritual leaders like Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Swami Vivekananda, calling them “rascals.” Why if you ask- simply because of their non-dualist (Advaita Vedanta) teachings and for practices like worshiping material energies or Kali instead of pure Krishna bhakti.
If your spiritual teacher’s interpretation is the only legitimate one, and everyone outside it is misguided, what happens to independent thinking?
3. Prabhupada’s controversial statements
Prabhupada and his disciples teaching on the role of women and men and how they should lead an ideal family life is extremely regressive!! Not just women, remarks regarding race and various historical figures that are extremely uncomfortable.
When questions are being asked, the devotees simply defend saying the meaning of their teachings are misunderstood.
A spiritual leader should not become so sacred that his followers feel compelled to defend everything he ever said.
4. The fear and guilt around ordinary human life
This was probably one of the biggest things I witnessed.
Sex outside the specific purpose of procreation is considered sinful.
Meat is sinful. Onion and garlic are sinful.
Material enjoyment and worldly attachment or success is Maya.
Even enjoying ordinary things can be framed as spiritual deviation.
And then comes karma and rebirth which is completely based on the varna caste system. Their theory is as humans we accumulate sinful reactions and those sinful reactions affect our next birth.
That is, if you are a Brahmin and continue to do sinful activities, you will be reborn into a shudra family. And if you are a shudra in this birth, but do lots of good deeds, you will be reborn as a Brahman in next birth.
Think about what that does psychologically to a vulnerable person. You aren’t simply making choices anymore.
You’re constantly wondering:
“Am I accumulating sin?”
That is an incredibly powerful mechanism of control when someone has been taught to fear the consequences beyond this lifetime. And imagine the kind of trauma this induces for children who attend Gita classes by ISKCON.
5. The varna/caste hierarchy
Like I mentioned above, the way ISKCON discusses varna is another thing I find deeply disturbing. The traditional hierarchy places Brahmins above other varnas, with Shudras occupying a serving role.
And the karmic framework can associate one’s actions in this life with one’s circumstances in future births. Whatever philosophical explanation is given for this, I find the idea of humans being placed into a hierarchy of spiritual/social worth profoundly problematic.
Especially when such ideas are taught as divine truth rather than something open to critical examination.
6. Aggressive preaching
I’ve personally witnessed devotees approach people outside traditional, non-ISKCON Hindu temples to preach Krishna’s supremacy. And worst of all, they collect donation saying, contribute for a bigger cause or contribute to get more punya.
Imagine going to worship Shiva, Muruga or Durga and being told that the deity you worship is essentially a demigod and that Krishna is actually supreme. That’s not how I understand Hindu pluralism. It feels like religious competition masquerading as spiritual outreach.
And god!!! These people have insane marketing strategies to collect high donations. They know whom to target and at what time. They attack people who are vulnerable, people who go the temple seeking some comfort, people who are depressed. Rather than helping, they target them and gradually lure them into this mess in the name of devotion.
7. The guru worship is deeply disturbing
This is probably the part I find most cult-like.
I have personally seen devotees collect sand from the path their guru walked on.
I’ve seen devotees perform abhishekam/pada puja to their gurus when they visit their homes and then consume the water as something spiritually purifying.
I’ve seen people eat the remnants of food left by their gurus.
And my mother has personally forced me to participate in these practices because I was told that doing so would bless me.
I cannot understand why a human spiritual teacher should be elevated to that level. Respecting a teacher is one thing. Treating a human being’s footsteps, bodily contact and leftovers as objects of spiritual purification is something else entirely.
And when questioning the guru becomes spiritually dangerous in the believer’s mind, that is when reverence can turn into submission.
8. And ultimately, the family pays the price
This is the part people don’t talk about enough.
My father eventually became deeply involved too. Initially, my mother pushed him toward ISKCON. Eventually he followed it, and from what I witnessed, part of that was simply to maintain peace in their marriage.
And I was the child caught between them.
I didn’t choose this path no matter how much they forced me to. And believe me when I say, my mom did everything she could to make me follow iskcon. I MEAN EVERYTHING!!!!!!
But I stood my ground very very strong even though it has been an emotionally draining process. And over time, it destroyed my relationship with them. Today, at 30 years of age, I have made peace with the fact that my parents have chosen this lifestyle.
I no longer try to change them or argue with them about every theological contradiction. I’ve accepted that this is their life. And I have strictly asked them to not involve me in their ISKCON lifestyle as I have a family of my own now. In the end, the only way I have been able to preserve my own sanity is by maintaining distance from my parents. And that is heartbreaking.
Note:
So when I say “ISKCON is cult-like,” I’m not saying every devotee is a bad person.
I’m saying that I have personally experienced a system where:
questioning is discouraged and often countered with extreme defensive responses.
one interpretation is treated as absolute truth and any sort of deviation creates fear and guilt,
gurus are placed on extraordinary pedestals,
other religious traditions can be portrayed as inferior, and the beliefs of one devotee can end up controlling an entire family.
If your parent, partner, sibling or loved one is showing these patterns, please don’t immediately dismiss them as “just becoming spiritual.
Look closer!!!
Are they becoming more compassionate and open-minded? Or more fearful, rigid and judgmental?
Are they developing their own understanding or becoming incapable of questioning their guru?
Are they respecting your choices? Or demanding that you live according to their beliefs?
Are they becoming closer to their family? Or increasingly withdrawing from everyone who doesn’t share their worldview?
Please pay attention to the difference. Because I spent almost 20 years learning it the hard way.
And if you’re a child of deeply involved ISKCON devotees and you’re reading this thinking, “Holy shit, this is my family” you’re not crazy.
You don’t have to hate your parents or this lifestyle. You don’t even have to convince them they’re wrong.
Sometimes, saving yourself means accepting that you cannot save them and creating enough distance to finally breathe.