r/HomeImprovement • u/Hateful_Face_Licking • 7h ago
Etiquette for challenging previous owner to martial combat?
Previous owner painted all four walls of a 144sqft bedroom in high gloss paint. He also decided to kindly extend his paint skills about 4 inches into the popcorn ceiling from the walls as well.
After spending two days removing the popcorn ceiling, chipping away the painted popcorn, and sanding the walls so primer can adhere to it, I’ve decided it’s time to fight.
What is the etiquette for challenging the previous owner of a home to martial combat?
- Pistols like gentlemen?
- Rapiers, also like gentlemen?
- Fisticuffs?
- Form a posse and fight his rival gang?
- Weapon of choice?
For legal reasons, this is a joke.
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u/Boughtthetshrt 7h ago
I had renters repaint every room in the house white, but a different white from the ceiling, and they painted 2” into the ceilings, all of them. At least your guy owned the house he was messing up!
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u/Admiral52 7h ago
All are acceptable methods, regional popularity differs. For instance, where I’m from we prefer socks stuffed with a billiard ball
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u/TheRealMarvinator 3h ago
Stuffed with oranges. They don't leave bruises, but they hurt just as much. Don't ask me how I know.
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u/blasted-heath 7h ago
Slap face with glove to initiate challenge.
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u/makingmorethanever 7h ago
Just make sure there is a brick in the glove lol.... learned that from bugs bunny
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u/Hummingbirdhollow 6h ago
Nay nay, this is your moment to employ a poorly rinsed out and crustily dried paintbrush for that slap.
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u/offtheshallowend 7h ago
I have spent every weekend for the last month crawling through the tiny attic of my bedroom fixing the terrible DIY insulation and HVAC job the previous owner did with some very similar thoughts!
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u/onlyhightime 7h ago
We have popcorn ceilings that the previous owner painted. We decided to just live with it. My wife and I don't mind the look much, as we grew up with them. It would have been way too much work to do (it's most of the hosue). And we don't mind a little sound dampening.
Five years later, we're still happy with our decision.
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u/LonelyPie4076 6h ago
With the cyclical nature of interior decorating trends, popcorn ceilings will be in fashion in seven years. You heard it here first.
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u/Responsible-Tie-8271 4h ago
Given the fact that my teen’s fashion is straight out of the ‘90’s, chain and all, I’m betting the same thing applies to interior decorating and you will be correct
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u/Ivorwen1 7h ago
I believe it is customary for the recipient of the challenge to choose the weapons for the duel, not the challenger. But if Master Flipper is willing to take suggestions, a corner painting tool mounted on a broom handle makes a suitable polearm.
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u/BlueSunflowers4589 7h ago
Challenge them to an episode of Trading Spaces, then get the lady who glued hay to the walls and covered the floor with sand to do their house.
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u/Own_Ranger3296 7h ago
Do you live in either Seattle, WA or Texas? If so, and you keep it it a consensual fist-fight, you’re good to go!
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u/TransientVoltage409 3h ago
There is only one good true answer.
Thunderdome! Two men enter. One man leaves.
I'm still trying to complete several challenges with my PHO. Decorated the place like something between a fishing lodge and a pole barn, in a major metro suburb 800 miles from the sea and at least 50 miles from the nearest A-zoned land. Then there's something about carpeting over hardwood.
More of a pursuit than study lately. I cannot find him. It's been twenty years now. I'm starting to lose confidence.
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u/wellvrsd 7h ago
Did you buy the house sight unseen? The person you should be looking to fight is right there in the mirror. Challenge them any way you desire.
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u/BruceInc 7h ago
Plenty of primer adheres to high gloss paint…
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u/seamus_mc 7h ago
Liquid sandpaper is also a thing
https://kleanstrip.com/cleaning-and-paint-prep/liquid-sandpaper/
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u/BestClockmakerInSac 6h ago
They say you will never hate anyone like the previous owner of your home.
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u/syzygialchaos 5h ago
Could be worse. The flipper that did my 1906 late Victorian didn’t prime the original cedar siding very well and used the wrong kind of cheap paint. Most of the paint on the exterior of my 3,000 square foot 2 story monster was in some stage of falling off within 5 years of buying it.
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u/YourPlot 2h ago
Check your local code for regional duel practices. You can asking any clarifying questions with your local code enforcement office at town hall.
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u/Purlz1st 1h ago
I inherited my house from my dad who was so cheap he could squeeze a nickel until the buffalo screamed. (Sorry, very old joke). As I’m updating various things and finding his work, all I can say is “Gee, thanks Pops.”
He was a great dad and I still miss him every day, but dammit, he was tight.
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u/HobbitsOnTheRocks 5h ago
Mine left us their number on a “welcome home” note (boomers), I just text him photos of the renovations I’ve done as a joke. But when I send them it’s meant as a I hope you die soon type of joke. The dude just laughs and says the original was my wife’s idea. Good dude haha
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u/Comfortable-Maybe183 6h ago
Gypsy rules bare knuckle boxing.
Meant to settle disputes.
Neutral third party referees. No foul play. Beat the shit out of each other until you, the refs, or your corner calls it. Mandatory hand shake and the feud dies.
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u/Tiredplumber2022 5h ago
He gave you no warning, so dont give him any. Wait until they're not home, and pump vaporized high VOC solvent, or MEK, or similar, into the house. (Shut the power off first!)
Let it half-solvate all painted surfaces. Let him think HIS previous owner painted water base over oil, or something.
It's called "Feud-It-Forward" 😜
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u/Kirian666 5h ago
Ok I know you’re not asking for advice, however I’d like to suggest at least one coat of chalkboard paint. I’ve used it to help paint stick even to laminate. Idk how it will work with the gloss tbh but it’s worth a try somewhere!
Also, my vote is weapon of choice.
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u/EatsFiber2RedditMore 2h ago
I lived with a pair fo sagging floating shelves the previous owner installed and RTV glued to the hardware. Until after 5 years I finally just cut through the bracketry with a multi-tool. Also the house was three different shades of Gray.
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u/NotBatman81 1h ago
If the previous owner was old and passed away, does the responsibility follow blood lines?
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u/slytherin_whitefox 1h ago
As someone who will be selling my house soon I cry because I could only fix so much at my house from the previous owners 🙃
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u/dave200204 1h ago
I had more than a few things to say to the previous owner. He thought of himself as a handy type. He really wasn't.
Far as I knew he was in jail on drug charges or something. The prison guards didn't like me coming round to the prison with a couple of dueling pistols. I tried explaining the situation to them. Told them it was a win win situation for them. If I won the fuel after all there would be one less inmate.
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u/lawn_meower 43m ago
hey serious reply here - popcorn ceilings tend to be made of asbestos. did you wet it down and use respirators and hepa vacuum? i wouldn’t sleep in there until professionals clean it.
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u/Puzzled_Nothing_8794 28m ago
Every time I see a new post here I have a deathly fear its my old house. This one is not.
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u/SwillFish 15m ago
When I was a pledge at my fraternity, we were assigned the task of painting a bedroom white that a previous tenant had painted black (ceiling included). To do this, they bought us five gallons of the cheapest wall paint (primer was too expensive) they could find at Home Depot. I remember applying coat after coat only to get a small improvement. I think it took about six coats in total.
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u/Flash_ina_pan 7h ago
The only solution is to track down their current address and at 4am, statistically when people are least prepared to defend themselves, paint their walls and ceiling in high gloss paint.