Yes, you read that right. 18 long years on this planet, and I have achieved the impossible: absolute, uninterrupted, pristine singlehood.
While my classmates are busy sneaking out to movies, gossiping over mixed signals, wasting hundreds on Valentine's Day gifts, etc., I am out here achieving true inner peace. While they are tracking locations and fighting over fast replies, my screen time is purely split between Reddit, GitHub, and overthinking a random conversation I had with a girl in 2023.
My achievements include:
Zero relationship drama (because there is no relationship lmao).
Saving 100% of my pocket money instead of spending it on Valentine's Day gifts.
Having a 100% success rate at being the "designated therapist" who fixes everyone else's breakups.
My phone battery lasts 2 whole days because no one is blowing up my instagram with "did u eat yet??" texts.
I’ve transcended to a superior level of enlightenment where romance just feels like a myth invented by Hollywood to sell movie tickets.
So go ahead, ask me anything. Need advice on how to get rejected flawlessly? Want to know how to cope when your crush looks right through you like you're a pane of glass? Curious about how to survive family functions when your relatives start asking about your marriage plans? Ask away. The master is ready to answer.