Of course, we are allowed to marry, and it is better to marry than to burn with desire. And sometimes there are still phases when I wish for it.

But generally speaking:

What helped me enormously was realizing that I probably wouldn’t actually be happier with a man. What I desire is an idea of being happy: my longing for marriage would be satisfied, I would eventually get used to it, and then other desires would arise that I would suffer from just as much.

Moreover, some desires simply wouldn’t be able to be fulfilled anymore because I would have to make compromises with my husband. Overall, I don’t think I would actually be happier. Certain desires would simply be satisfied, while others would take their place, and eventually I would get used to all the good things as well.

And all of this is assuming that the marriage is a happy one in the first place.

Since I realized this, the longing hasn’t disappeared, and sometimes it still causes me pain. But I suffer less from it because I no longer believe that marriage would make me happier.

hello sons and daughter of the Living God,

I started going to gym regularly a year ago, and finally on my way to building and refining my physical body, but I hit the plateau, and haven’t seen any progress over the past 3 months.

I am wondering if you know experienced and God-centered online gym coaches or (unlikely) any in WA state. I would like to hire one to help me take it up a notch but at the same time I am not pursuing to make it all about physical, rather let my body reflect the spirit and virtues of God, especially in the way I can serve others thru that.

After trying to find sb on Insta, I ended up seeing self-centered and secular coaching. But that gave me clarity to outline my “ideal” coach who has:

Spiritual values.
Consistent communication.
Client-tailored coaching.
Intentional Community building

Please, let me know if you or sb you know can actually relate to that or we can be on this search together.

Finally, is there a Christian gym community or subreddit here? I think that would be beneficial and edifying to have one. If not, hit me up, if I should create one. I wanna be intentional and available for my siblings in Christ.

“But may the God of all grace, …, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.”
‭‭I Peter‬ ‭5‬:‭10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Is there a similar concept in Christianity like Karma Yoga? Base on my understanding, Karma Yoga is an action where an individual do the things he did without waiting for the fruit, and doing as a devotion or sacrifice towards God.

Is this similar to Faith? In faith (base on my understanding) is doing the things you need to do with full reliance towards God. Not means you will do half the work or you will not do the work and wait for God, but means you will do what needs to be done, and what ever the outcomes, you have faith that's God's plan for you.

God has blessed me in my life so much it makes me want to cry. I’ve been on my journey with him for almost four years (personally at least. I was born in a Christian family) and I’ve become a much much better person. My life has gotten so much better.

But as I’m sure you all know, TRULY knowing what you’re not supposed to do makes you look at others different. You see everyone around you still judging, cussing, being mean, etc. It’s upsetting! Of course I’m not perfect and I’ve done everything like that too, so I’ve really tried to get away from the judgment (but it’s hard). 

But recently that judgment has transformed into anxiety. If I see a friend of mine doing sinful actions over and over without thinking about it, I try and make recommendations for them to stop (which is what I usually do). 

But now I feel so scared. Instead of a voice of judgment like “why are they doing this?” Go through my mind I’m nervous. Like “they’re going to hell if they don’t stop.” And it’s given me anxiety.

There’s so much evil and pain in the world. I do try and help by offering calmer solutions and telling people not judge or something, but I don’t know if it lasts permanently. I’ll admit I don’t bring up Jesus as much as I should. I’m scared that if I bring Him up some of them may not take in the message.

I know me not bringing Him up is kind of going against my want for everyone to go to heaven but I’m sure you know the basis of my worry. In a world where the image Christianity has been construed against what God is REALLY trying to say, it’s sometimes nerve wracking.

I want everyone to go to heaven and be happy and be kind. I’m not sinless at all, only Jesus is. But the patterns around me keep going. 

I know God will help me in some way shape or form, but is there any advice anyone can give? I can’t heal everyone, only God can. But how do I get over that fact?

I have to start getting confidence to spread kindness and bringing up Jesus when doing so. But what do I do when I do that and someone doesn’t take in the message? What do I do when someone rejects my suggestions of love and being close with God?

Once again I know I can’t heal everyone but how do I accept that without feeling pain? I just want everyone to be close to God and spread love. 

Hey all, I've struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life and have always had odd but subtle symptoms doctors ignore or don't know what to do with, they just kinda link it to migraines. The past few years especially with the job I have and how trapped I feel financially, I have gained weight and now my blood pressure is in a bad place. I'm just asking for prayers to keep encouraged and to help me do what I need to do to bring my whole life under control.

Mostly I just want to remember that I am right with God whatever happens. I want to stop being afraid and trust fully in Jesus. I feel like I have been oppressed most of my life trying to escape a common sin cycle. God has broken it, but I don't know how to fill the emptiness. I've been trying to cope also with an issue with my father. I tend to think he too is oppressed and if I turn more fully back to Jesus, my dad does or says something to me that cuts deep and angers me and drives me down. I have forgiven but also can't fully escape him. Some of this sounds superficial but there are depths to it, emotional scars and situations that are hard to express, so I won't.

I would truly be grateful for any prayers you would be willing to pray for me. Thank you.

Its summer and I can have a good break

I’m having a conflict of conscience. Ideally, I don’t even want to describe it as a theory. I’m afraid that if I describe it just to get the points on the exam, then I’m not really rejecting it properly anymore.

If anything, I would describe it and then explicitly state that I reject this theory. But even that puts me in a conflict of conscience. It feels wrong.

I don’t know what I should do now. I’ve already informed one of my teachers and asked whether it would be sufficient for me to describe and explain microevolution, since I don’t believe in macroevolution and it conflicts with my faith.

But I read online that in cases like this, students are generally not exempted from lessons or course content either.

So what should I do now?

I skip my church's weekly bible study, for bible study with another group. I'm actually losing my mind over some Christians telling me 'support local assembly' and 'what about your assembly members?'.

1. This is not communion, sunday school or Gospel, where service is needed .... so idk what's their problem with attending other group's bible study instead.
2. Honestly, everyone is stuck in their own idea of what the Bible says .... I prefer to explore and be a Berean. My own church elders are fine with it......
3. I pick my bible studies based on need. My church's bible study is pretty good, but on top of edifying study, I NEED PEERS, people who I can talk to about life. My church members are either very young or very old.... So their bible study session is of no help to me right now. There are studies that I can do alone, and studies I need help with. If another group is offering the help I need right now, I'm off to that group for the time being.
4. NOTHING in what I've read in the Bible tells me that I should limit myself to my church. "Where 2 or more are gathered".

I will stick with my current arrangement, regardless of what other christians think. But I expect more complaints especially from my family. How do you guys cope with this?

Hi I wanted to request prayers for my husband and I. We have been dealing with infertility for 3 years next month. This is my last cycle before officially hitting the 3 year mark and it’s weighing heavily on me. I thought we would be onto our second baby by now and the grief of life not going as I planned can be crushing some days.

I went to a fertility specialist in January and they ran a few tests, told us our chances of conceiving on our own were less than 3% and some of my results showed a possible ovarian reserve issue for me. They started pushing IVF on us immediately and didn’t offer other options. I am adamant that I won’t do IVF due to my religious beliefs but some days I can’t help but be afraid I’ll never have a baby and it’s tempting.

I got a new doctor and did find a few actionable things to fix but I still haven’t been able to get pregnant.

Please pray for us. Thank you

Good morning, dear friends.
Jesus said- “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.”
— Acts 1:8 (NASB1995)
You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you. Don’t settle for a form of godliness without the power. Welcome a fresh stirring of the Holy Spirit today and step out as His witness. You cannot be an effective witness or disciple without the Holy Spirit stirring.
Blessings
Team Lotter

How do you deal with challenges in a household where your faith is not shared? How do you cope with resistance (even if it is communicated very carefully and sensitively) when it comes to matters such as attending church, meeting with fellow believers and other activities that affect the time you spend with your spouse and children? How do you draw the line between obedience to Christ and selflessness/support for your family?

I keep feeling as though I’m constantly making compromises in these matters (and ultimately in following Jesus as well)...

I am a woman in my 20s who is still pursuing a degree at my university. For many years, I have struggled with bitterness, and I don't know how to let it go.

I grew up in a religious household, and because of my bitterness, I have often tolerated people and extended grace and patience to those who have treated me badly in life.

I am bitter toward a couple from my church. I do not mind constructive criticism or correction. I genuinely dislike sweeping judgments and the idea that they should make decisions for me.
My pastor told me, "If you bring a man over, I'II tell him no. If a man wants to court you, I'll tell him no. Finish school. Don't be like your mother."

I do not mind anyone telling me to finish school.
It is practical advice, but the way he said it felt odd and somewhat controlling. He even mentioned my mother. My mother is a loving and kind woman who did not have the financial means to finish her education, but she was a loving mother who took good care of me and my siblings.

I also have a problem with someone else from my church. I understand that there are things I need to work on. I am an emotionally intense person, but she said something that really hurt me.

She told me, "You will make a man so unhappy because of your emotions."

I confessed my feelings to a man in Bible school. She told me, “It’s worldly and unbiblical for a woman to confess to a man. Maybe you should get married after you fix yourself."

I took her words to heart. I spent days wondering if there was something wrong with me. I ruminated over what she said and lost sleep because of it. But a week later, I became so angry with her.

She even told me, "If it hurts, then it's the truth."

I stopped talking to her but continued going to church. I am bitter, and there have been moments when I have wanted to scream at them.

I don't know what to do.

I was born a Christian and I honestly let God into my life around the time I turned 19 (4 years back). I've never been perfect with it, but I did feel a sense of comfort being a Christian.

However this year after I moved to another country, I felt so lost.

I joined this church in hopes of growing stronger in faith, but in return they were straight up doing stuff which was very cult like, plus they started isolating me when I refused to do what they said. It reached such a point that a lot of my friends who were atheists ended up being way nicer and supportive than the church as a whole. And eventually I lost touch with my faith and life has now become very depressing despite having a lot of blessings

I quit the church recently, but now I feel like I was thrown off a bus and I don't know my way back to God, I'm trying to read the Bible, pray but somethings not clicking.

What do I do to grow back in my spiritual journey now, I'm so lost.

A preacher preached a sermon recently about the epidemic of loneliness.

The way he phrased the message implied that it was a weakness, a glitch in the matrix, an anomaly. That it was your fault that you were lonely. You’re oversensitive, you’re aloof, indifferent, standoffish, yada yada yada. The same barrage of verbal abuse that lonely people have been bombarded with over and over again, all throughout their lives. And yes, from your friendly and lovely Christians too. God help you if you’re not married YET.

Then he crossed the line. He touched on trauma as if he was suddenly an expert, except without the love and compassion you’d expect from someone delivering the message of Jesus. He said some people who have been traumatised in the past put up walls and wear masks to church - as if it was a character flaw and a heinous offense to God and man. Then he kinda blames them for choosing to be lonely and hiding their true identities for fear of being hurt, and hence breaking the law of loving others as yourself. Well he didn’t specifically spell it out exactly, but it sure did sound like it was ALL YOUR FAULT for being lonely.

Then he crossed another line. He said true GODLY friends hurt you. Intentionally. Yes, he used the word godly. He also used Scriptures to back his arguments up like any master Pharisee would. He used the iron-sharpens-iron verse - an all-time favourite of many abusers. Then he used the “Better are the wounds of a friend than the deceitful kisses of an enemy” verse. At this point my nerves had gone completely numb because they’ve been triggered far too many times in the past, and I think I’ve gone fully immune now.

Then he crossed another. He said if the majority dislike/avoid you, then you have to ask whose fault it was. LOL. Can you imagine if the unpopular Jesus walked into the synagogue ?

I mean, let’s apply some common sense here for a bit, shall we? If that someone walks into church and is a troublemaker, fair enough. Dislike him/her all you want. In fact, apply church discipline wherever necessary. You’re warranted to.

But if that person walks into church desperately looking for a safe place to belong and seek refuge - and then you bible-bash the person even more and reduce him/her because, oh I dunno, maybe he/she is a leper? a prostitute? a legion-possessed man? a lonely and despised tax collector? or worse, a non-denominational guy!! Especially if you’re a Calvinist!! Or worse, an Arminian!!! Or 100x worse, you came from Kenneth Copeland’s church!! OMG! Let the dogs out now! Chase the wolves out! But wait a minute… don’t wolves (and Pharisees) normally hunt in packs? So why target the loner ? I’ve heard churches even say that lone wolves are the most dangerous breed… well to an extent I agree, because he could be a pedophile for instance - but then so are many preachers too. See where I’m going with this? I’m too tired to continue but you get the drift.

So back to loneliness.

All I knew was by the end of the sermon, I told myself two things.

One - I’ll never ever make the mistake of opening up, or remove my mask and be myself or be vulnerable to ANYONE in church. Don't believe what they tell you. Oh we must be vulnerable. No more wearing masks. The church is safe space. Spiritual hospital. We're all sinners and we're all on the journey of healing. Yeah right. Not falling for that anymore. No flipping way and no more. Lest you become another sermon topic on Sundays again. Or if you have a fetish of more church hurt and pain. I'd rather save that energy and go BE THE CHURCH outside of those 4 walls to a hurting world.

And two - I’m more and more interested in the idea of house churches. Where everyone goes back to the basics like the early church did. Love God and love your neighbour. Simple. The Gospel is simple. And I want to go and hug every lonely person out there and bring them in. Now, I know what the haters will say next. Oh, what if he’s a child molester, or the next Ted Bundy, or a witch… or whatever. I don’t have the answers for you now but I believe the Holy Spirit will tell you what to do then, when you walk with Him closely. He'll warn you when there's danger.

I notice there’s something seriously very wrong about our theology and understanding of God’s character in many churches, all over the world. This church preaches sound doctrine (allegedly), is reformed so you’ll hear lots of quoting of Piper, Keller and the occasional MacArthur. But my goodness, the number of times I’ve heard and witnessed first-hand the blatant disunity in the church. Because they mention it almost every other week during sermons!! And I’m fairly new to the church! How is it that we may have sound doctrine, great biblical teaching, and yet fall so far off the mark? How could sound biblical teaching lead to lovelessness and so so little mercy???

I don't care what anyone says but that is NOT the Gospel. You can preach up a storm or the best sermons but unless you practise what you preach, it's just cheap, empty powerless words. No more, no less.

And why do preachers love to pick on the weak, the needy, and the ones that just don’t smell and look the part? It’s the old, classic Matthew 18 misreading again, isn’t it? Jesus defended the victim and rebuked the abuser. Yet somehow, whatever they’re teaching in Bible seminaries these days, they seem to be churning out preachers who don't seem to get that you’re NOT supposed to be picking on the victims - you’re supposed to be preaching AGAINST the abusers and perpetrators! So if someone is being nasty to another person at church, you don’t preach against the victim and call him/her a crybaby or force the person to forgive! No! You preach against the nasty abuser even if he/she is a leader in church! ESPECIALLY if he/she is a leader!!!

Do we even have the faintest idea how cover-up cultures and church abuse begin?

Scripture is not a weapon for you to swing at the already wounded, and the pulpit is certainly NOT a test bed for the preacher to work out his own unresolved issues on the congregation. I mean, the preacher himself confessed that he suffered lots of loneliness while growing up and still does not have many friends. Preachers - please please please do not tell us how to live our lives if you haven’t the faintest clue to live yours right. First go take out that log in your eye, then come and teach us how for ourselves. We are NOT your guinea pigs.

Phew. Rant over.

And for the millionth time, LONELINESS IS NOT A SIN. Otherwise you’d have accused Jesus as a sinner. My goodness, have you not read Isaiah 53 word by word yet? Slowly? Try it again. Maybe it may change your view of things.

Discuss.

God teaches us through suffering and blessing. After a 3 year intense period of trials and waiting, God blessed me unexpectedly with an amazing husband. So we got married in March and God has been teaching me how much the ministry of marriage matters to Him as our worship to the Lord. That he used my refining season to prepare me for such a responsibility. That this ministry comes before all other ministries. He has been showing me that it is an opportunity to die to self further and draw upon Christ even more. He is teaching me that His greatest blessings are not only for us to enjoy but to be used for His glory to bless others and give back. He is revealing His love to me in new ways through my husband. So through marriage God is teaching me these lessons. No matter what season we are in, we can and should ask for wisdom as there is constantly something in which we are to grow in our understanding of even if it is just learning to become still before God.

What are the lessons God is teaching you this year?

The Bible mentions many times having a "plurality of elders". Last year it really hit me that my church only has one pastor/elder/overseer. I have been studying this off and on since then and in the last months it has really been on my heart. I have talked to many men at my church and the topic and the general comment is they agree that we should.

Has anyone been in this conversation or church change before over this topic? How would you present this to your past with scripture to back it?

I may talk to him about it this Sunday and I feel like I don't need to ask "why don't we" but "WHEN will we get more assigned Elders" because it obviously says so in the Bible.

My church claims it's self to be Non Denom, but its like Baptist.

Thank you for your time, God bless.

I mean this, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Physically

Why do so many Christians neglect their physical health?

I see a lot of Christians who are fat, have a terrible diet, don't get enough sleep, or rarely work out. Some say they're working on improving it, but don't show any progress or even seem to be getting worse

Some things can't be controlled, but there are things we can control, and sometimes it seems like people just make excuses because they can only control part of it

Proverbs 23:20-21 warn against gluttony, and Galatians 5:22-23 lists self-control as a fruit of the Spirit. Yet these don't seem to be commonly practiced

I see Christians putting a tremendous effort on desire for beauty, either their own appearance, someone else's, or just validation. Don't even get me started on porn addiction

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Mentally

Doomscrolling has become normal. Endless scrolling through videos takes up hours that could have been spent following God's parh

Why are people becoming so bad at controlling attention and time?

Spiritually

Why do so many Christians have so little involvement in their own faith?

Some don't regularly attend church. Others go to church but don't attend Bible studies or participate in anything outside the main service. Some seem to think that being a Christian means going to church every week, or even every other week, and that's about it

There is prayer, Bible study, fellowship, repentance, obedience, serving others, helping the church, and actually putting God's Word into practice

Many Christians seem more interested in saying that they believe in God than actually obeying Him. Believing in God should affect how we live. What good is saying we believe if our lives show little difference? James 1:22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves

Asking as somebody that is striving to not only advance my walk with god but walk in purity as god grows and transform me more into his image and more into a man of Christ, but I’m also in a position as far as church and youth groups go where I don’t have the ability to ask these kinda more forward and vulnerable questions simply because a large portion of church events, groups, etc are split by gender.

It feels often in the secular world we are surrounded by that traits such as purity, restraint, prudence, etc are over looked or under valued. But maybe that’s just my experience. What’s your opinion?

Our neighbours aren’t the nicest
please pray for my family to have peace!

Hello! God bless!

I have a question for you. Since the Bible says that God is not the author of confusion:

- what things have you been confused about?
- Did God show you the way?

Thanks

Brainstorming

I’m so exhausted this week form work, the people at work and my family situation.

Please pray for me that God gives me strength to overcome this situation. And that HE offers hope and a future. And they HE will lead me on the eternal way.

„For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.“

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/jer.29.11.NIV

Please pray for the people I’m working with and especially for the patients I treat. That Jesus will knock at the doors of their hearts as well to give them the opportunity to repent.

and through my work I can represent Jesus and be a recommendation letter and not a shame.

„Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”“

‭‭Revelation‬ ‭3‬:‭19‬-‭22‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/rev.3.19-22.NIV

„Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.“

‭‭John‬ ‭1‬:‭12‬-‭13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/jhn.1.12-13.NIV

I just bought a snack and I feel so guilty, I’ve started making a great amount of money at my age but I’ve began to grow guilty and worried that I’m starting to love it because now I have the money to buy myself things (I grew up somewhat poor), I do give, in fact gift giving is love language, I LOVE using my money for someone else, but when it comes to me I feel guilty and sad. I don’t like this feeling :(