r/CatAdvice • u/bunniculas • 8h ago
Behavioral Partner's cat is aggressive towards me
Me and my partner have been together for two years. We each brought two cats into the relationship total. We lived separate for two years and have lived together for 1 year.
Only one cat is a problem, which is my one of my partner's cats. She's about 4 years old now, and my partner has had her since she was a kitten.
Before we moved in together, she would yowl if me and my partner cuddled together or slept in the same bed. She'd corner me and would occasionally attack me and draw blood. It was NOT playful. She was definitely demonstrating territorial and fearful behavior. I tried feeding her and playing with her, which did help, but I still have issues with her occasionally growling at me and scratching me. I'm not even trying to pet or interact with her. Frankly, I'm so fed up, I don't want to pet her.
Fast forward to now: Me and my partner have lived together over a year and the cats acclimated fine. The problem cat gets along just fine with my cats. She STILL has an issue with me. I'm still getting growled at, hissed at, and occasionally scratched. I'm afraid to get into the bed sometimes because if she's there, she'll probably hurt me.
I'm not really sure what I can do from here. I feed all of the cats dinner due to work hours and I play with the cats, which works out fine. She'll even ask me for dinner or to play, so I know she doesn't hate me or anything like that.
My partner can pet her and handle her however he pleases. She's definitely a one person cat, which is totally fine, but I'm worried about the aggression towards me and how I can deter some of this harm. She IS spicy with everyone that isn't my partner.
We've been to the vet and they don't seem concerned, so it's not an issue of pain or poor health.
•
u/Typical-Lobster-5994 7h ago
Target training could be helpful for this situation, since you don't want to pet her and she views you as a threat. Target training gives her a way to interact with you on her own terms, you can lure her to go to a certain place, or move away from a certain room. Use something like a chopstick or a silicone spatula and pairing it with a high-value treat, you teach her touch the target stick gets her a good treat. Introduce the stick, she will probably want to sniff it out of curiosity. When she does and touches it, quickly give her a treat. It works well with a clicker which you can buy at a pet store, but you can also use a word like "yes" or any word you'd like to mark it. Consistently use that same word or clicker if you buy one. There are lots of resources online for clicker/target training.