r/CPTSDNextSteps 9d ago

Sharing a technique I feel more integrated now, more loving towards the broken part. I love the broken little girl so much.

For me the wounded inner child concept was a game changer. I tried so many things. This is what stuck. These powerful visualisations of talking to her, caring for her, and listening to what she has to say. Just spending time together. Peace.

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u/Triggered_Llama 8d ago

It warms my heart to read that second line in your title. I love the broken little boy inside me so much too. He did no wrong. He was just stumbling around trying to figure out life on his own. I love him.

It's a bit embarassing to admit but I've hung a picture of 4 year old me inside my house and I boop his nose every time I walk past him.

u/Whimsy_GardenBeetle 8d ago

This is so sweet. Sometimes when I’m feeling down I go to the photo of little me and tell her all the wonderful qualities that she has and how much I love her. I’ll add some nose boops next time too :)

u/No_Summer1874 8d ago

That's not at all embarrassing. He deserves all the boops and more.

u/iMightBeACunt 7d ago

Honestly, that's very sweet.

u/Every_Lime_1063 6d ago

I have hand picked a few photos of my tiny self and when I come across them, I hug the picture, kiss her on the cheek, tell her I love her, I’m sorry, thank you for hanging in…. Think I’ll start booping her nose too 😁

u/SillyBoyYe 9d ago

Done the same :) When emotions come up I now sit with them because there's an understanding why they exist and why my emotional landscape is the way it is.

u/PanoramicViewer 9d ago

Love this! I like doing fun things with her too, like blowing bubbles. I have also treated my inner teenager with a burger that was my favourite at that age. Then I bought bubble gum and she LOVED it! She sometimes shows up in therapy as a surly, argumentative and suspicious part of me.

u/SomeLoser1884 9d ago

Lovely thoughts. I still have trouble accepting that my "inner child" deserves love, compassion, etc. as I would freely give out to others. I try to substitute my nephew or niece to try to bridge the gap if that makes any sense.

u/No_Summer1874 9d ago

It makes sense. This happened only when a gem of a therapist extended so much love and care...told me how well she had done to keep save, that she wasn't weak, but so strong. My therapist's love is what opened up the space for my own.

u/gentlemanphilanderer 8d ago

Can you share more about your experience, what worked for you, resources you use, etc?

u/Glad-Kaleidoscope-73 7d ago

I love this post. I don’t have much to add except this was a huge turning point for me personally. I promised I’d show up for myself and ever since there’s nothing I can’t do. I wish I could teach other people about it because when you see it you can’t unsee it.

u/BeyondSurvivalMode 8d ago

This is such powerful work, I agree. I've found it even more powerful when combined with Clinical EFT Tapping. Also works really well in working with any of your parts, in whichever way you'd like to think about parts. You can work with an array of inner children/younger selves. But parts can show up in different ways too. In IFS there's protector parts, for instance. Janina Fisher (fragmented selves) speaks simply of the freeze part, the fight part etc for all nervous system survival responses. Others work with emotions to name parts eg the angry part, the scared part. And don't forget to invite your happy part (if you can connect to it) or your part that desires to heal at the table! It doesn't matter what you name them. Just always remember they like to be heard and seen. Even the parts you may not like are doing their utmost best to protect you, although with a limited perspective. Being grateful and listening to them usually softens them.

u/Ruring 8d ago

How did you start visualizing her and how do you maintain that process everyday? Can you explain how someone else can reach this stage too?

u/Triggered_Llama 5d ago

Not OP but for me, I reached there through my part-time work which involved working with kids. I came to realize two very important things: there are no inherently- bad kids (or very rare) and I was just another kid who did normal kid stuff, broken or not.

I may have gotten to that stage on a fast lane but there was a lot of work I have to do on my own too. First by being patient with myself whenever I want to best myself up. 

u/According-Ad742 8d ago

Then you wanna teach yourself the framework of Internal family systems therapy, next level therapeutic revolution! Can be practised on our own

u/Professional-War4856 4d ago

How do you find the little girl in yourself you once knew its been 60 Years of trama now griving Now I lost my only child. Im completely alone. I could be more broken I dont even know if im faking being strong or if I am. How do I learn to love myself again. Is it the family who made me feel this way. I feel like I dont like them Is this part of cptsd

u/Professional-War4856 4d ago

Im completely confused im thinking g about putting myself in independent living at 61. Like im a 90 year old I feel like im following in my mother's Footsteps. Thats the problem How can I be myself when I dont know who I am?