r/AskRedditAfterDark • u/No-Dealer-1140 • 18h ago
What has been your most desperate pee? NSFW
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u/_curious_autist 18h ago
Whenever I go to the movies. They give you way too much soda which you gladly drink because the popcorn is salty and I don't want to walk out in the middle because I might miss something important so I hold it but then I feel like I'm going to burst when the movie is over
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u/MentallyUnwellWoman live, laugh, toaster bath 18h ago
this is why i’ve stopped snacking at the theatre. i feel you!
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u/_curious_autist 17h ago
It's really a problem. I think movies should have a 15 minute intermission like the live action theater
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u/p0litoed MillieRover has the biggest dick I've ever seen 🐸 18h ago
my most desperate pee was when i had to plea on my hands and knee in front of the holy queen bee, mr. t (her parents were fans of the a-team)
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u/Mother-Medicine863 18h ago
What do you mean "what"? I peed, and I was desperate to, the end
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u/concupiscent_dress Slimy Yet Satisfying 18h ago
NO PLEASE ELABORATE THE PEOPLE NEED DETAILS! 🙏💦😌
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_DRAWERS 18h ago
Fine, ill tell you. But you better at least semi jerk off to it.
So, I was 20, and it was my birthday. I hadn't been out drinking loads before that, so I was really drunk really quickly (it's at this point id like to state that this story has been relayed to me, but i definitely remember the feeling of needing to pee, and as the story will soon explain, swiftly no longer needing to pee and how I came to be very aware of the details).
So im drunk, very drunk, and the line is massive for the bathrooms because small town UK, one club, lots of women. My great idea, get with a boy, go to the bathroom, pee and run away.
Jump to the end of this, there's a video of me pissing on a fellas jeans that his mates took from the top of a stall. Cant see my face, but i know its me, and i distinctly rememeber him telling me off and me feeling a great deal of satisfaction that i no longer needed to pee.
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u/La-Negra *Something punny here* ✌🏽😝 18h ago
I don't have the equipment but even I jerked to this. Great story and details 🤜🏽🤛
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u/TheSmoovestOperator Smoove B*tch, get out the way. 18h ago
Stupid college students on the way to a baseball game (friend DD'd) my buddy and I decided to chug a bunch of beers before hand in the backseat to avoid stadium pricing......and then we hit traffic .....so much traffic
By the time we parked I practically crab walked to a restroom because my kidneys were about to shut down.
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u/defabc881988 18h ago
After working a 16 hour shift by myself where I never even got a chance to sit down. 48k steps with very little water is not recommended.
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u/Slight_Use6036 sometimes I wonder why I doomscroll this sub 18h ago
After driving 6 hours across the state.
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u/MentallyUnwellWoman live, laugh, toaster bath 18h ago
when i had to get a transvaginal ultrasound.
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u/Ok-Object-1610 18h ago
Driving home one night two hours back as a truck driver I had to stop and pee in a Gatorade bottle.
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u/Eissbein 18h ago
I was hospitalised for a week, in a room with 3 other people. Problem is, i can't piss while someone is looking. I lasted 2 days... in the end i filled the whole 2,5 liter bottle to the brim a got some irritated mumbling from the nurse who had to empty it.
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u/Narrow-Palpitation22 18h ago
Crashed at a friend's apartment in the living room after a party. All the bathrooms were accessed through the bedrooms and I didn't want to invade anyone's room because I didn't know them well enough.
The apartment complex was well lit and there were no sneaky corners to pee. So I peed in the kitchen sink, then washed my hands and let the water run for awhile
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u/Deep_Silent_Complete 18h ago
Was standing watch on the fantail (the rear most part of the main deck of a ship) of the aircraft carrier I was stationed on at the time when I had to piss like a racehorse.
In order to get properly relieved: the person would have to be armed with both a pistol and a rifle. Knowing that calling into dispatch, and having someone arm up, would take time, I decided to go with the option that would earn me non-judicial punishment if caught.
Since it was after midnight, and raining, I walked over to the hawespipe (the hole through which the mooring lines which tie the ship to the pier run) and proceeded to piss through it figuring the rainfall would provide cover. It did.
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u/Garfield126 17h ago
In Amsterdam after a night of clubbing drunk and high on xtc, barely made it back to my hotel room..
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u/angry-guru 17h ago
4 and a half hour drive home
Stopping not an option, hurt so bad but I was making good time
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u/ADHD_GerberaDaisy 17h ago
This is so specific but I was seeing this guy and he wanted to meet up and I kinda had a feeling he was going to end it. Well he gets in my car and instantly is head down, barely talking, and being weird. I’m like if you want to end it, just say it, I’m a big girl. Well he gets out the car and starts vomiting 😒 I’m trying to be nice (to him as he is too pussy to end things) and continue to sit there and let him get in and out my car mumbling and crying and vomiting about how he doesn’t want to do this but he’s taking a job 15+ hours away. This goes on for literally over 2 hours and I’m desperately having to pee (what I didn’t know was I had a UTI coming on as well) so like the urgency was OVERWHELMING. finally he gets out and it’s 11pm at that point, no open stores or gas stations close enough to me. I pull in somewhere and parked, peeing in my favorite tumbler out of desperation and then being more sad about throwing it out after than I was he was moving away and ending things 😭🫣
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u/SpartanDoubleZero 17h ago
Flying by myself, out and about turning money into noise trying to build hours. I'm over BFE Michigan about halfway between traverse city and Flint and it hits me that I really should not have had the red bull right after landing in Chalevoix and not forcing myself to pee before I left. I was at 7,500 feet, I found the nearest untowered airport, It just happened to be a grass runway about 8 miles south of me. I make my turn and make a fucking dive to get down to pattern altitude (1,000 feet above the field elevation), I make a straight in approach, make my radio calls, land and stop at the end of the runway. I killed the engine, run for the trees, take a leak, then hop back in, start up, take off and fly back home.
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u/Throwaway_Mellie 16h ago
One time when I lived in London, I drank too much after work and had to catch the tube for an hour home. Made it to kings cross station, and had to get off to pee. The toilets were upstairs and across the way. I ran as fast as I could, had to stop mid run, and sat at a table. Didn’t see the people at that table and just burst out “sorry, thought I was gonna wet myself”. Got up, horrified, ran the rest of the way and high jumped those turnstiles like an elite athlete and made it.
Now I never pass up the chance to pee haha.
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u/azhawk12 16h ago
Started to get the feeling on an airplane as we began to decent. Of course was in middle of the plane so couldn’t just run back to the bathroom in the back when we landed, had to wait to de-board the plane, get to the bathroom and it was probably the most satisfying piss I ever took
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u/Lonely2nd 15h ago
Thanksgiving Day 2010. We’re driving to see family for the holiday. I am pregnant with a baby stomping on my bladder. Everywhere is closed. There is no escape from my misery. Until, and I still don’t believe this, we come across a Blockbuster. They’re open. But do they have bathrooms? I waddled in and begged the teenage worker to let me use whatever facilities they had in the back. He allowed it, and that relief was what I was thankful for that Thanksgiving.
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u/Mad_Aeric 13h ago
Last week. Fresh out of surgery for kidney stones. I'm fairly certain they topped me off with fluids manually. Ended up peeing all over the place, soaking four hospital gowns, a chair, the floor in two rooms, and narrowly avoiding the nurses themselves. And it just kept coming nonstop.
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u/AmberLynn2000 13h ago
We were camping and I was afraid to leave the tent at night. I had to pee so bad, it was either go outside and pee, pee myself, or pee in this container I had in the tent with me. I finally decided to do that as I was bursting
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u/squirrellicious2304 The Queen of Rodents🐿️👑🗡️ 17h ago
I was stuck in traffic due to an accident. After around three, three and a half hours I felt like I was about to dissolve in pee, so I quickly ran across the other two lanes trying to find some trees roadside. Well, by the time I got back to where my car was, traffic was already moving again, albeit slowly. It did take me a bit of walking to find a spot where I could pee in peace.
Stopping traffic again for a minute to let me cross the two lanes to get back to my car safely definitely is in my top ten of most awkward moments😅
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u/concupiscent_dress Slimy Yet Satisfying 18h ago
Why do you ask, OP? 🤔