Feeling this 40 thing! ✌️

There is zero correlation between anything I have typed in this post. Just making it up as I go. 🫠

I have no kids, my soul cat died after beeing with me over 18 years, i struggle with chronic pain due to spine/connective tissue issues and i think i have an alcohol problem and maybe a midlife crisis on top. I do not like my job but cannot change something. I mean i am still alive and look ok for my age but i feel old and dead inside. Well, i still try and would like to change things up once and again, doing daily sports again like in the past, stop alcohol, better diet, try to be more happy but not sure for what. Maybe i start tomorrow….

Not one for selfies....

Excuse me while I ramble a bit.

Here I am 40 years old starting over again.

Its starting to take a toll on my mind and heart.

Having no one to talk to has been hard. I was always ok alone, but feel like I yearn for love, warmth, closeness. It feels so out of reach. I have so much to give. I want to feel chosen.

Im trying to remain hopeful. I hope this new decade gets me closer to happy or just better.....

I tried running and was terrible at it. I just started taking up golf and I’m equally as terrible but it’s somewhat more fun but more intimidating than I expected. I also bought a rowing machine.. is this a midlife crisis? 😅

You know the feeling. Doom scrolling socials after you get the kids in bed. Coming across a crass buzz feed AI slop article that has been recycled for the 100th time of bad family photos from the 1900's :D

Ha, people looked like idiots back then....

The next day you're going through family photos and this pops up...

I give you mini Logbo circa 1987... No wonder my nana looks so unhappy.

​

Hope everyone had a Fun / Safe / Labor day Weekend.

Forgive me, but I really don't want to plaster my selfies on reddit (nothing against those who do). ETA: I got brave and changed my mind, it's in the comments.

So I turned 44 today. I never had a problem with getting older, and I don't have one now. My 40s have honestly probably been my best decade so far. I feel like I've finally just let myself live my life without caring so much about what other people think, or how much I've succeeded or all the other life problems that have plagued me through my earlier years. Like, yeah, I'm not as young, there's less "future" left, and that kinda sucks, but i really feel like the older I get, the more I've learned how to just relax and enjoy life.

Anyway, the party is over and I'm bored now lol. If anyone feels like chatting, I'll be a willing participant (44/f/US). I'm not a bot, I don't have an OF and I have nothing to sell. Just a normal person with nothing to do at the moment lol.

Going incognito because I refuse to let targeted ads bully me into buying neck creams.