I was doing so fucking well. Getting more good than bad days, not quite the phenominal days yet but good.

Blink twice today and I'm toying with the idea of giving myself more mcfucking scars. I don't fucking get it.

Firstly, therapy is going ok and my therapist is good at proverbially thwacking me upside the head and giving me a reality check, also giving me the tools I need to move forward. Seriously great person.

Therapy has me keeping tabs on my moods. I haven't been awesome at it after the most recent weekend, but I'm trying, and I've been managing 1 of the 3 check-ins every day this week minimum. Know what appears 90% of the time? If you guessed tired, you nailed it. This is persistent across 2 weeks, throughout the day. Pretty sure its proof about what ive been saying : I am a night owl. My normal sleep pattern is 2am to 9/10 am. Anything earlier has me exhausted and jetlagged. And my job has me up at 6am to get ready and get the dog outside for a few minutes and finding something to eat so my blood sugar doesn't tank before "lunch" at work. First alarm goes off at 530 so I actually wake up wothout an adrenaline spike because "oh sh!t I am going to miss my bus and be late" I could adjust my hours to later, but that murders my time to be social with people or to get stuff done by daylight. Might be an option for another time, but not right now. Sorry, I guess this is more a rant than anything else...