I adopted my dog about 3 months ago from a shelter. He’s around 5.5 years old and I don’t know much about his history, other than that he was taken into custody with several cats and was eventually placed in the shelter. He is a very sweet and affectionate dog with me and has become much more relaxed and playful at home.
The biggest problem I’m struggling with is being left alone.
When I leave the house, he immediately gets up and goes to the front door. He usually sits or lies there waiting for me. Sometimes he cries or barks, and he seems unable to properly settle. He doesn’t really explore the house or go lie somewhere comfortable. He basically waits by the door until I come back.
At the moment, he can sometimes handle very short absences (around 20–40 seconds) if he has something like a Kong or chew. But as soon as he finishes it, he often goes straight to the door. I’ve also noticed that the actual departure seems to be the trigger: at my parents’ house he has slept downstairs all night with their dog while I was upstairs, completely relaxed. But when I actually leave the house, he still gets stressed, even if other people are present upstairs.
I’ve been trying to work on this very gradually. I’ve practiced:
-picking up my keys/putting on my coat without leaving
-opening and closing the door without actually going anywhere
-stepping into the hallway for just a few seconds
very short departures and returning before he gets too stressed
-giving him a Kong/chew/licking activity when I leave
-trying to make departures and arrivals as boring and uneventful as possible
-leave music on when I leave
I’m also working with a dog trainer, and the current goal is really just to get him comfortable with tiny absences rather than pushing him to stay alone for a long time.
I’m not looking for a quick fix, but I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have dealt with similar separation anxiety. What helped your dog eventually learn to relax when you left? Are there things you wish you had known earlier, or mistakes I should avoid?
I’m especially interested in experiences with rescue dogs where the dog specifically struggles with the owner leaving, rather than simply not liking being alone.