I have a proof that Carol’s frozen eggs are kept by innies on Lumon’s severed floor. The proof is that plurbs do not care about the goats, right, so they won’t be able to save the eggs too. All the goats at Lumon are still alive, so it must be the best place to save frozen eggs too (hence the founder’s name’s Eggan). Innies are working on making Carol’s stem cells from them. Otherwise they’ll have to put Carol underground into a silo. Problem solved.

like only a rat could covet an egg bar because well... duh

rats are covetous creatures and love eggs and stinky cheeses and things like that

and the melon head is something a rat would do

also the waffle party could be cheese themed

maybe the severance chip is just a rat brain it's small enough

also the intro is kind of rodent-vibes idk how to explain it

i'mm just picturing him and his deep german man voice going like "braainns" as a zombie that would be so sick and kickstart the severance zombie apocalypse arc that was foreshadowed by gemma coming back to life as a different kind of zombie maybe a vampire since we seen the shooting leaks her in the lumon building but not outside where the sun would burn her to death, also a good way to keep filming locations minimal basically a bottle episode season which combined with zombies would be a good dissection of capitalism, and if God is a loving God ms cobel is indeed a vampire that would give me a sweet fucking boner, also drummond is kind of mysterious and kind of lost his temper which could be a symptom of being bitten by a zombie before, eplains why he didn't just eat emil to fulfil the weird cult stuff i stopped paying attention when that goat lady showed up every time on screen honestly, i also want to think that the bite spread by dylan to milchick who are both immune because they have plot armor but carried it before since dylan had so many jobs he as a kind of scientist somewhere and picked up the zombie virus, but is immune to the effects of wanting to eat brains, and milchick got bitten by dylan if we all remember and spread to drummond because of him directing drummond to devour feculence obviously milchick poops too, which would be faster because drummond might not have had to poop but saw milchick's poop and again he's kind of mysterious maybe autistic and took that literally and that and it spread that way? idk the lore on that. or like it's not a zombie thing but because of what i just said about dylan and milchick and germs etc we really don't know for sure what is possible, that could also be a big part of why drummond died like a bitch but i think my theory is plausible so far, and the marching band would be better as a kind of overwhelming zombie threat since prior seasons we were only afraid of like two people, and maybe they could be severed zombiies which makes their brains less apetizing to not severed zombies, because of the chip, the severeance chip, petey is alive too maybe with this revelation? what do y'all think? Praise Kier

DAE work sucks ass? its for the birds !

It would solve his boring job problems so fucking fast, so why don’t the writers have him do that? He could have a boat and dump bodies off it and get his dick sucked by a blonde MILF and then an insane British woman and accidentally get a guy exploded in a cabin, conveniently solving most of his problems via an ethical loophole. It writes itself!

This changes everything

And I have learned

That even landlocked lovers yearn

For the sea like navy men

— Death Cab For Cutie, “Brothers On a Hotel Bed”

We want you! We want you!

We want you as a new recruit!

— The Village People, “In the Navy”

Come sail away, come sail away

Come sail away with me

— Styx, “Come Sail Away”

The recent photo of Adam Scott posing with two Navy men has the Severance fanbase speculating all kinds of things, yet few seem to be understanding the real point of this very clear message.

The Navy is a branch of the military well-known for gathering men of many different backgrounds and identities and placing them on a big floating hunk of metal in the middle of the ocean far away from their girlfriends and wives. While teaching them teamwork, how to best kill foreigners and how to prance around playing volleyball on the deck in the sun, these men are however deprived of the regular sexual release they often enjoyed back ashore.

This leads to something incredible happening.

“Straight” men in the Navy historically have begun to explore alternative sexual avenues while confined to a specific workspace. Separated from their regular lives, they take on new identities at work, and begin to find themselves in freaky situations they otherwise might never have ventured into. When they return home, these liaisons are often kept secret, yet it’s changed them at heart.

It’s a lot like the journey of the characters on Severance.

What Adam is signaling to viewers “in the know” is that Severance, like the Navy, is a show about people finding a psychosexual freedom while in a confined, compartmentalized space, both mental and physical. When the sailors are serving their country by servicing each other in their bunks, it doesn’t make them gay. It makes them erotically avant garde. They’re explorers. They’re pioneers. They “refine” each others’ “data” until returning to a “cold harbor” where they leave their ships and go back to their prior lives. And by showing us that there are ways to become just like the characters of Severance, what Adam is saying most of all is that we, too, can come sail away with him. For even if you are in a traditional, heteronormative relationship, a part of you will grow to yearn for the freedom of the sea. Why not become a new recruit?

But that’s enough from me, what do you think?

I think adding a Dracula to the show would be a great way to keep things interesting. All this "mind" stuff can get sort of boring. Not to mention all the scenes sitting around in the office get old quick! but not if a Dracula existed! The plotline possibilities are endless.

they haven't released anything in over a year, is season 3 lost media? is this an issue of distribution? from what i heard, season 3 is mostly complete but unavailable to the public for some reason. i mocked up this image while high on blow

it's especially sad given how season 2 ended, i had hoped to see these guys reunited and i'm sure we could have gotten a season 4 with how many ideas they clearly had for new adventures

I hear he’s looking for work!

He keeps on talking about something being spikely. Does it have a lot of spikes in it?

The creation of great art is an often intimate process. Across mediums people have constantly gone to great lengths to immerse themselves in the work, in order to get a purer or better result. Male method actors starve themselves and act like douchebags to the cast and crew to do a better job at pretending to be imaginary people, Grant Morrison took a ton of psychedelics and went to sex clubs a lot to write cooler Batman comics, musicians of all kinds have experimented with drugs not just because it made sex with groupies better, but because it was the only way to think 18 minute jam tracks were listenable. Even in more practical types of industry, I’m sure a lot of immersive shit has happened. Can you imagine what the inventor of the condom probably put themselves through before landing on that necessary evil? Henry Ford likely spent a lot of time trying to get horses to ride bicycles before coming up with the car.

I could go on.

I have it from an inside source that, to amplify the themes of the show, and to get the writers into a similar headspace as the characters, all of the scripts from outline to shooting draft are being written with their tongues on the genitals of highly-trained sex workers. By tracing each word out with their mouth organs as the pens and the sex organs as the paper, they’re able to better acquire the mindset of Dylan, Milkshake, Helly, Markus and the lot. They’re characters in an erotically avant garde, psychosexual realm, and to try and conjure those misadventures through impersonal keyboards and notepads has held them back in seasons 1 and 2.

There’s a raw carnal nature on display in season 3, set to open on the marching band gangbang promised in season 2’s finale. And it’s only gonna get freakier from there. The anything goes, red room bath house freeplay the MDR gang is set to experience will likely reinvent modern sexual expression as we know it. They’re explorers on the fringes, closer to cenobite endeavors than conventional sexcapades. The writers have bravely committed to the concept of writing what you know and are writing it onto people they have come to know, through skin on skin contact. The behind the scenes featurettes are going to blow minds, as well as loads. I guarantee it. The oxygen deprivation alone has already inspired a cute scene where Markus wears a brass diver’s suit and descends into a pool of semen, and that’s just what my source is willing to “leak.”