The speakerphone paradox

[u/NeighborhoodJust1197]

I was at the pool today when a woman started having a conversation on her phone using the speaker.

I politely asked her if she could not use the speaker and pointed to my headphones.
She said, “I don’t have headphones.”
So I said, “You can just hold the phone next to your ear.”

She looked at me with a completely blank expression and said, “I’m on speakerphone.”
I said, “Well… that’s the problem.”

Apparently, we had reached the limits of modern technology.

[u/DigbyChickenZone]

I genuinely do not understand how people can be so self-absorbed, that just because they aren't bothered by something, means that NO ONE ELSE is allowed to be bothered by it. Like, we live in a society, understanding the norms of the areas around you is part of being outside as an adult.

Some people may be able to think clearly and focus just fine with a large blaring alarm behind them while a few people are loudly arguing nearby. But most people cannot, that is why we have libraries.

Being disrespectful, loud, and then getting testy instead of apologetic when someone tells you they find you distracting and annoying - UGH, it gets under my skin SO MUCH.

Same goes for people blaring music on nature walks. GET HEADPHONES.

[u/awesomefutureperfect → u/DigbyChickenZone]

I was told the reason people hold their phones horizontal with the speaker phone on is because that is how it was done on the Kardashian TV show for production to hear the other end of the call.

That behavior leaked into the public consciousness to where I saw a bearded middle aged man who worked primarily out doors exhibiting that behavior because that is the behavior he imitates.

Unfortunately a lot of people just imitate what they see without any understanding why they do things and will get defensive any time you tell them not to do what they are doing because thinking about what they are doing for one second is way more effort than they put into most anything.

[u/SassySashaLuv → u/awesomefutureperfect]

I personally prefer it because I'm able to multi task then. If it bothered someone I'd obviously turn it off though.

[u/Indecisive-Gamer → u/SassySashaLuv]

Bluetooth earphones are the solution to this... best of both worlds. The problem is you ARE 100% bothering people, just most people are too pilot to tell you. Hence why this post existed. The only reason people still do it is people are too polite. Which is dumb because the people blasting sounds from their phone are already being rude.

[u/Okeydokey2u → u/DigbyChickenZone]

I completely agree, and I'm a loud person! I was raised by loud people. I have been told a couple of times, politely, if I could please not be so loud by a stranger while having in-person conversations and both times I was mortified and apologetic.

[u/composedofidiot → u/DigbyChickenZone]

Please stop shouting your allcaps, it triggers me. I like the softness and gentleness of your italics though, they were a very calming breeze. On balance, your comment, fine.

[u/Mediocre_Airport_576 → u/composedofidiot]

THIS IS BOTH ITALICIZED AND ALL CAPS. how does it make you feel?

[u/Ethossa79 → u/Mediocre_Airport_576]

Jittery and soothed. It’s confusing!

[u/composedofidiot → u/Mediocre_Airport_576]

Strangely comforted :)

[u/WinterTourist25 → u/DigbyChickenZone]

Like, why does it matter? You're going to hear half the conversation anyway.

We live in a world with portable telephones. This means you can expect people to be talking on them anywhere.

[u/Indecisive-Gamer → u/WinterTourist25]

Bro phones are louder than people to compensate for the crap speakers. A quiet conversation is no where near as annoying as a phone making noises. Additionally everyone on their phone for some reason decides to talk twice as fucking loud and turn their speakers up all the way.

[u/fuettli → u/WinterTourist25]

Look at you being all logical, HOW DARE YOU!!!

[u/DigbyChickenZone → u/fuettli]

That isn't logical though.

I usually step away from people when I am on the phone, most people have been taught to do that. One-on-one conversations are private, and other people generally also do not want to hear the tinniness of a phone speaker blaring a conversation that they are not a part of.

Think for a second - if you were having dinner at a restaurant with your family (or, business partners and a client, whatever fits), and someone called you, a person that the other people at the table DO NOT know, would you put the caller on speaker and have a conversation with them? Or would you get up, and move to a different area of the restaurant - or go outside, to take the call?

Expectations of the murmur of society around oneself is one thing, being rude and acting like other people's peace is their problem and not yours, because you want to have a conversation, is entirely another.

[u/fuettli → u/DigbyChickenZone]

See how what you talk about is completely independent of having it on speaker or not? If you walk away from the table or group it doesn't matter if it's on speaker or not, so it IS logical and you've proven it yourself.

[u/Indecisive-Gamer → u/fuettli]

What are you even trying to say? Please run your text through a proof reader or something, dear god.

[u/GoldCode8622 → u/DigbyChickenZone]

we live in a society

There it is.

But I'll properly finish this sentence by saying we live in a society where there are loud public places.

that is why we have libraries.

So go there instead of loud public places where families gather to have fun.