r/mildlyinfuriating • u/NeighborhoodJust1197 • 8h ago

Missing Peace The speakerphone paradox

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I was at the pool today when a woman started having a conversation on her phone using the speaker.

I politely asked her if she could not use the speaker and pointed to my headphones.
She said, “I don’t have headphones.”
So I said, “You can just hold the phone next to your ear.”

She looked at me with a completely blank expression and said, “I’m on speakerphone.”
I said, “Well… that’s the problem.”

Apparently, we had reached the limits of modern technology.

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u/colonel_beeeees 7h ago

I'd say that speakerphone music usage is dependent on volume, but there's no acceptable volume for public speakerphone conversations. We don't even want to hear one side, let alone both

Corollary: unless it's good tea, but that's rarely the case

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u/Long_Run6500 7h ago

To me i always feel like im awkwardly invading someone's privacy because the person on speaker isn't always aware they're on speaker. So many times I've heard coworkers rush to take someone off speaker because they're about to say something that isn't meant to be heard by someone else.

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u/MMBitey 5h ago

My favorite is when they take their speakerphone conversation to the public restroom and don't skip a beat when audibly doing their business (and so are the rest of us). They don't seem to think there's anything wrong with it.

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u/commandercool86 5h ago

I just assume they want me to hear their conversation. Eavesdropping is welcomed.

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u/Ethossa79 4h ago

I have a coworker who will be in the same aisle putting away freight with me, chatting away on speakerphone with her mom. I will absolutely join their conversation. It will annoy her to no end but meh. I don’t care. You’re inviting me to join if we’re four feet from each other for four hours and you’re talking to her, then to me, then to her again without pausing or letting me know there’s a difference.

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u/Competitive-Emu-7411 7h ago

If the phone volume is kept at a conversational level then there’s nothing wrong with it. People (myself included) usually tend to have it cranked to the highest by default though, so it gets annoying in public. 

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u/Ethossa79 4h ago

If it was at a normal volume, no one would notice. Because it’s not, it’s annoying

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u/Taynt42 7h ago

I’d say the exact opposite! Never ok to blare your music, but a mid volume conversation doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

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u/Snoo-73243 7h ago

they are both wrong and inconsiderate of every one around them, neither is good nor should be accepted as OK in public space.

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u/Blargimazombie 6h ago

Like why can't they just put the phone to their ear like a normal person, or hell use a Bluetooth earpiece if you really don't want to hold the phone up like that but like, why do you use speaker for a one on one conversation in public?

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u/t_hab 5h ago

There can be many reasons. Most are just purely obnoxious, of course, but for some older people the newer models of phones aren't loud enough against their ears. My mom, for example, has now switched to speaker phone conversation (typically up against her ear...) since she turned 75. She could use a bluetooth earpiece, sure, but that would require her to not lose headphones every five minutes.

Some people just have the bad habit as 99% of their calls are in private places, some people are trying to read something off the screen while on the phone (e.g. while dealing with a call centre), and some people are on video calls.

I'm not trying to excuse the behaviour, as it's annoying as hell, just trying to answer the question you asked.

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u/shakygator 6h ago

do you remember the bluetooth ear piece era

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u/targetboston 6h ago

Yeah, I don't understand why any of it's acceptable. We are all drowning in noise pollution and stimuli constantly, what's the difficulty in putting a phone to your ear or using a headset? America isn't beating the accusations of being a loud country.

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u/curtcolt95 6h ago

I mean in that case any conversation between 2 people wouldn't be acceptable in public, which is obviously ridiculous

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u/Rhonakk 1h ago

How is it any different effectively to a third party than if two people are talking in person next to you? Should nobody talk in public because other people could hear you?

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u/Debatebly 7h ago

What's the difference between speakerphone conversations and just two people having a chat?

Music is clearly different.

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u/Conscious-Regular- 7h ago

The distorted crackle of it being up too loud and echoing on the other end makes it much worse than music.

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u/Neveronlyadream 6h ago

Yeah, one person always seems to be talking much louder than necessary and it gets distracting.

Which isn't to say two people having a conversation don't also do that, but I've found that unless those two people are really young, they usually have the situational awareness to speak at a reasonable volume.

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u/lucybluth 6h ago

IME people on speakerphone aren’t usually speaking at a normal volume even though they might think they are. I don’t know why but something about speaking into a phone makes people speak slightly louder and it rises above the volume of everyone else. Plus speakerphone voices very distinctly sound like they’re coming from a phone so it’s jarring.

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u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 5h ago

This this this. Sometimes I get off the phone and I’m like “why am I screaming??” I’m usually alone so it’s not like I’m bothering people but still.

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u/ConstructionOwn9575 6h ago

There is a distinct difference between a human voice in person and through a speaker. It cuts through the natural din like a knife. It's also harder to hear the talker clearly, and often speakerphone users set the volume much louder than a normal conversation. To me it is as annoying as music or watching a video.

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u/Taynt42 7h ago

Totally agree, as long as they aren’t yelling to be heard over background noise.

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u/LadderNo1239 6h ago

I would absolutely not mind being unwittingly privy to a speakerphone conversation using words like “corollary.” Unfortunately, it’s all too often particularly degraded vernacular and TikTok drivel.

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u/RabbitHabits 7h ago

I mean this is an absurd take. You'd prefer to hear some random persons playlist over a conversation between 2 people? What if the other person was sitting next to them? Would you be upset if they were talking to one another?

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u/PanoramicAtom 7h ago

This is exactly it. It’s people having a FUCKING CONVERSATION. Get over yourselves ya wankers!

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u/Dnlx5 5h ago

This!

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u/Dnlx5 5h ago

Man I feel the opposite. Even music I like pisses me off when its from some douches phone

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u/s1thl0rd 4h ago

Oh I'm on the opposite side. If I wanted to hear music, I'd put in my headphones. But how is a speakerphone convo different than an in-person conversation? If it's volume, well any conversation, speaker or in person, could be annoying if it's too loud.

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u/flowersonthewall72 4h ago

I really hope you whisper as quietly as possible every time you go out in public. Don't make a single sound with your shoes as you walk. No sounds of carrying bags...

If you cant handle people talking in public, don't go out into public...