The speakerphone paradox

[u/NeighborhoodJust1197]

I was at the pool today when a woman started having a conversation on her phone using the speaker.

I politely asked her if she could not use the speaker and pointed to my headphones.
She said, “I don’t have headphones.”
So I said, “You can just hold the phone next to your ear.”

She looked at me with a completely blank expression and said, “I’m on speakerphone.”
I said, “Well… that’s the problem.”

Apparently, we had reached the limits of modern technology.

[u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

Do you mean Noob, or you mean Knob? Or just plain old Nob?

[u/56seconds → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

All of the above

[u/badarsebard → u/56seconds]

Knobly noob nob

[u/Gandlerian → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

Yes

[u/cyanraichu → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

Definitely Nob

[u/Stormfly → u/cyanraichu]

PROPPA NOB

[u/Live_Length_5814 → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

Nob means bell end

[u/themoosewhoquilts → u/Live_Length_5814]

knob means bell end. nob means noble

[u/ghIj_qet_jaghmeyjaj → u/themoosewhoquilts]

Holy shit a toff then. Better?

[u/Live_Length_5814 → u/themoosewhoquilts]

Yes because anyone who uses speakerphone in public is a noble dude did your brain come out a recycling factory

[u/Ambitious_Pattern772 → u/Live_Length_5814]

Why are you so angry?

[u/Outrageous_Editor_43 → u/Ambitious_Pattern772]

Being a bit of an ick or another insult missing a letter. 😉

(Live_Length_5814, not insulting you just expressing that I also feel the missing letter actually makes it mean something!)

[u/themoosewhoquilts → u/Live_Length_5814]

did yours? learn to spell.

[u/Live_Length_5814 → u/themoosewhoquilts]

It takes you one second to open a dictionary on the internet and find out nob is a word meaning the head. Knob is what the maid polishes. Nob is the head.

[u/SnooCats5701 → u/Live_Length_5814]

Found the comment knob.

[u/Uncivil_ → u/Live_Length_5814]

They know what you meant, they're just correcting your spelling. 

[u/SnooCats5701 → u/Live_Length_5814]

"Nob" is also a term in cribbage. Etymologically, it is a derivation of "head."

[u/OneLonelyBrainCell → u/Live_Length_5814]

"For Whom the Bell (End) Tolls"; Knobtallica, Ride the Nobling (1984)

[u/Papa_Mid_Nite → u/Live_Length_5814]

I learn something new every day. Thanks internet stranger.

[u/Live_Length_5814 → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

It's also a term of endearment used between friends

[u/Johnny-Virgil → u/Live_Length_5814]

In the great white north. You hoser.

[u/Papa_Mid_Nite → u/Live_Length_5814]

Me at work to my NA friends: 😈

[u/Scary_Plane_8069 → u/Live_Length_5814]

It absolutely does not. Knob is another term for a bellend.

[u/CouchPotatoFamine → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

A hobnobber.

[u/Papa_Mid_Nite → u/CouchPotatoFamine]

Yoink! Gonna use that on my Brit friend today.

[u/Forky_McStabstab → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

Hobnobbing knobgobbler?

[u/Papa_Mid_Nite → u/Forky_McStabstab]

😂 That sounds like a name a DM comes up with.

[u/Forky_McStabstab → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

What? No, I'm just rolling dice because it keeps my hands busy while I listen to what you're doing... honest.

By the way, what's your reflex save? 😁

[u/Papa_Mid_Nite → u/Forky_McStabstab]

It has a -3 modifier due to old age and bad knee!

[u/Forky_McStabstab → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

Yeah... I'm gonna need 2 fort saves then. By the way, you really want to make these.. lol

[u/Papa_Mid_Nite → u/Forky_McStabstab]

Haha 😅

[u/Chief_lion_2 → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

It's Chewsday init ?

[u/UnderN00b → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

Don’t taint the Noobs. At least use the negative connotation: Newb

[u/Papa_Mid_Nite → u/UnderN00b]

My apologies to the Noob community. It is time for me to listen and learn.

[u/bigmattyc → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

A wizard's staff's got a knob on the end

[u/imadragonyouguys → u/bigmattyc]

That's an Ogg.

[u/Mammoth-Slammoth → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

Knnoobb

[u/Papa_Mid_Nite → u/Mammoth-Slammoth]

I see you are a chef! Cooked to perfection.

[u/egordoniv → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

They're not worth the "k"

[u/Stormygeddon → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

WAAAGH!

[u/Duke_Newcombe → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

¿Por qué no los tres?

[u/anonymitysqueen → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

Whichever one you are

[u/Papa_Mid_Nite → u/anonymitysqueen]

Why so aggressive? English is not my first language and wanted to know which one is the insult meant. Sorry. Jeez.

[u/anonymitysqueen → u/Papa_Mid_Nite]

It was just a joke, chill out my guy