r/mildlyinfuriating • u/NeighborhoodJust1197 • 8h ago

Missing Peace The speakerphone paradox

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I was at the pool today when a woman started having a conversation on her phone using the speaker.

I politely asked her if she could not use the speaker and pointed to my headphones.
She said, “I don’t have headphones.”
So I said, “You can just hold the phone next to your ear.”

She looked at me with a completely blank expression and said, “I’m on speakerphone.”
I said, “Well… that’s the problem.”

Apparently, we had reached the limits of modern technology.

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u/xocgx 8h ago

Kudos to you for even asking. When I was younger and didn’t care I said I would always say stuff to people if I was out with my family and they were being rude, but now that I’m older, I can’t be bothered and I don’t want a chance the person being a crazy person.

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u/AnonUserAccount 8h ago

Make really loud passive-aggressive comments. That’s what I do.

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u/_piece_of_mind 8h ago

Just jump into the conversation with them. They clearly have no desire to have it even be partially private, so it's an open invite

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u/Extension-Soup-3288 7h ago

There was this piece of shit who would have screamingly loud cell phone conversations right outside our apartment building (note: he didn't live there) and it drove those of us in the front apartments crazy. When it was clear this was becoming a pattern, I asked him if he could take his conversation elsewhere - you'd think he would have gotten the hint at that point but, no, here he comes again the next day screaming in front of our building once again. I asked him a second time to go elsewhere with his conversation. He tried to huff and puff and he actually refused to leave. So, I just walked right up next to him and started loudly talking while he tried to have the conversation. He left and never came back. It's wild to me how people don't understand that they don't have the upper hand in these situations.

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u/CaptainRelevant 7h ago

You’re nicer than me. All I could thing of was roof access and water balloons.

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u/Soggy-Beach1403 7h ago

Are unfrozen piss discs no longer an option?

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u/Vandal_A 6h ago

Discs?

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u/bimm3r36 7h ago

Ah yes, the Bear Grylls method

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u/Angle_Of_The_Sangle 6h ago

Oh my god, I forgot about that! . . . Wow, I'm on Reddit too much.

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u/JODI_WAS_ROBBED 7h ago

lol I moved earlier this year and noticed someone parked right in front of my driveway blocking me in one day. I was very annoyed but not going anywhere and maybe they’re just unobservant. Then I notice that car blocking my driveway a different day but they were gone when I checked an hour later when I could do something about it.

A week or two later that same car was FULLY blocking our driveway again. Both my husband and I were pissed. Well, my husband started talking about having the car towed and spiraled about how to handle it whereas I insisted upon leaving a note first. I did not want to escalate the situation with a potentially insane neighbor by towing when they know where we live. My husband seemed to think the note would only piss them off more and they’d continue doing it without harsh consequences.

I wrote a very friendly but firm note with the intention that if it happened again I would follow up with a “threatening” note explaining their car WILL get towed next time.

The ring cam ended up capturing the video of this asshole reading my legitimately polite note on his windshield. He started huffing and puffing and loudly exclaimed “WELL THERE WAS NO WHERE ELSE TO PARK!” As if being too lazy to park a block away and walk is a valid excuse to illegally block me in 🙄🙄🙄 His reaction honestly pissed me off more than the action itself but LO AND BEHOLD that jackass never parked there ever again. The mild inconvenience of a polite note was enough of a deterrent to make them stop doing it and I suspect that is often the case in these situations.

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u/FallWanderBranch 7h ago

That was awfully polite of you, I would have thrown something.

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u/Humboldt-Honey 8h ago

I did that at the airport once. It was the only seating area with a view so not a private area at all.

She just looked at me like I was crazy while I joined in on the conversation with her mom 😅 she did hang up after a bit though

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u/Degenerate_Traveler 7h ago

I did this once to someone on a work call in the United lounge. Her response - If you're going to try and hit on me it would be more polite if you waited until I was done with my call.

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u/ScottyBLaZe 7h ago

😂😂😂 well that’s 2 red flags right away

Although, I have noticed the people who tend to talk on speaker phones in public spaces tend to lean to the narcissistic personality spectrum.

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u/PanoramicAtom 7h ago

Yeah it could not possibly be that the person demanding the whole world bow to his own preferences is the true narcissist. 🙄

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u/Secretstar2989 7h ago

I wish I had half that confidence.

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u/dedsmiley 7h ago

“You are in no way hot enough for me to hit on you.”

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u/maggies_farm_hand 7h ago

“That’s why I ensured you ended the call”

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u/MrSurly 6h ago

"Don't flatter yourself loudmouth."

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u/Boxing_joshing111 5h ago

“Hey person she’s talking to, you think anyone’s hitting on her with eyebrows like that?”

She’ll check mirrors for years.

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u/rvralph803 7h ago

Honestly if you say down with me and I was talking to my mom we'd probably just riff. It'd be a blast.

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u/Secretstar2989 7h ago

Lady at work used to have the loudest phone calls with her elderly mother. Not a speaker phone, just so loud in a quiet cubicle space.

My coworker told me I should just start leaving her post it notes about the conversation when she wasnt there like "I hope your mom's birthday party went well, it was really nice of the facility to agree to hosting it. Im sorry Martha couldn't attend"

I was so tempted but also paranoid

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u/YVRJon 6h ago

Yeah, that sounds like a temptation to be resisted. HR might not find it very funny.

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u/Secretstar2989 6h ago

Yeah I figured they might be all "blah blah blah harassment" and "blah blah blah investigstion" and "blah blah blah, your employment is terminated"

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u/YVRJon 6h ago

Good call.

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u/Maverickfftytwo 7h ago

I love the idea, unfortunately the most common place I experience this is in the break room at work and the conversation is in Spanish 😒 guess it’s time to fire up Duolingo…

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u/SushiGirlRC 7h ago

So a girl that sat next to me for a while at a job used to have Spanish convos. I'm good at ignoring stuff like that, but one day I decided to crack her up. I messaged her "how can I eavesdrop when you're talking in Spanish?" She definitely cracked up.

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u/Toadcola 7h ago

Yeah, it’s a party line!

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u/SignificantRain7951 7h ago

I cant even sit and enjoy a McDonalds coffee without hearing people screaming and yelling at their speakerphones, so I have sung or yelled back at them imitating their language.

If they're speaking loudly in English then I curse at them.

I only speak English and I'd rather hear myself being obtuse than someone else.

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u/AmandaSaurus-Rex 7h ago

I like this idea! If they don't want people to join in, they should probably hold a more private conversation 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/helpifell 5h ago

I don’t understand this take at all. Would you do this to two people talking face to face by the pool?

What about the speakerphone makes it something upsetting?

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u/Intelligent-Key5821 7h ago

do u also do this when two people are talking to eachother as well? because there isn't much difference, especially in a public and an already loud as fuck setting like a pool

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u/Extension-Soup-3288 7h ago

There is a complete and total difference between two real life people having a conversation that blends in with ambient noise and a loud speaker phone conversation.

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u/Intelligent-Key5821 7h ago

i disagree, the volume is the issue, but when u see a phone, your mind goes to them watching a video or watching a movie or listening to music or something rather than them talking to a real human person (because you can't see them), if two people are loud as fuck in public, and you would be equally as annoyed with them then fair enough, but this person is in a loud as fuck public environment, I don't think this is the same as someone listening to music on the subway or scrolling louldy on ig, more than likely she can't really hear in the public setting without speakers, I owuldn't do this ever personally because i would care about privacy, but she is in a public loud space, I don't think this is a big deal (it would be different if she was in a doctors office or soemthing though)

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u/CarberHotdogVac 7h ago

Two or more people being loud as fuck together in an otherwise quiet or moderately loud public environment can also fuck off, and should be told so as much as possible.

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u/Extension-Soup-3288 6h ago

Um, don't tell me what my mind does when I see someone on a phone. It is incredibly distracting when people are talking on the phone vs a real life conversation. First of all, they are almost always speaking louder than normal speaking volume. And a voice on speaker phone does not blend in with ambient noise. It stands out. And it is always at a volume that the person on the other end can hear it clearly - which means everyone around them can hear it clearly. Stop imposing your perspective on others as if it's universal truth. It's not. Which is why so many here disagree with you.

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u/SushiGirlRC 7h ago

I do if they're being loud or don't shut up for 3 hours, yes.

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u/Intelligent-Key5821 7h ago

OP didn't even say the lady was loud, obviously if she was being loud, they should say something and tell her to quiet down, this goes for people just talking as well and I am not against that. I am just saying if people are talking at an acceptable volume in an already loud environement I don't think this is a big deal, and I don't understand what's so mildly infuriating about this. I think people are conflatign this image with the image of people listening to music loudly in subways and stuff, when in reality this lady probably can barely hear the person she is talking to since she is in public and also seems a bit older

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u/ZeroDonuts 8h ago

"WOULDN'T IT BE SOOOOOO ANNOYING IF PEOPLE DIDN'T RESPECT PUBLIC SPACES BY TALKING REALLY LOUDLY INTO THEIR SPEAKERPHONES", while pretending to hold my phone in front of me and standing next to them.

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u/EnlightenedNarwhal 8h ago

I live in a country where a guy put a bullet in an 18 year old girl's head over a road rage incident, so I'm good on that.

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u/xocgx 8h ago

Hello fellow American!

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u/Alarming_Cheetah_505 8h ago

These colors don’t run, but people’s mouths sure do!

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u/ArmoredvaChina 7h ago

These colors don’t run, but they t’aint made of Kevlar neither!

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u/Alarming_Cheetah_505 7h ago

Speak for yourself, I have a Kevlar taint.

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u/PaintDear7613 6h ago

Final boss of prostate cancer

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u/ZeroDonuts 7h ago

Australia has pretty strict gun laws, but I'm sure someone would have a shank hidden somewhere.

https://giphy.com/gifs/jPAdK8Nfzzwt2

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u/lowkeyhighdrama 7h ago

Oohhhh, that’s terrible

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u/Emperorboosh 8h ago

Just laugh when someone makes a comment. You’re not confronting them or imposing on the conversation. Makes it awkward when they realize you’re listening and laughing at them.

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u/Cultural_Orange2617 7h ago

I live in a first-floor apartment, right by the driveway. The number of times I’ve been woken in the middle of the night by people keeping their hazards on while parked in a parking space, people having deafening conversations, a guy taking a dump below my window (his straining woke me) (it’s not even a bad neighborhood!), radios / phone conversations in the car with the windows up but the volume so high that I could hear every word, headlights pointed in my window while they smoked and laughed and waited for whoever.

Sometimes, I’m good with just going out and asking them to stop. I assume they don’t realize that I can hear their phone conversation from inside my apartment. But people standing six feet from my open window, having a very loud but very personal conversation, they get different treatment. First I ask nicely. Then I get weird. I once set my Bluetooth speaker on the window sill and played a true crime podcast that was describing murder details, loud enough to cover their voices, and got back into bed. They lasted about two more minutes before I heard one of them say “this is fucking WEIRD” and then they left. Another time, two guys standing right there having “locker room talk” about recent dates. I called out three times for them to please go elsewhere. Nothing. So I got up, opened my window ALL the way, put my elbows in the windowsill and watched them like I was watching a show, lights off. Eventually they saw my face in the window, lit up by their headlights, and I said “fascinating”. They both jumped and said “what the fuck”. I told them that if they were going to have a conversation outside my window, then it must have been an invitation to join, right?

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u/weebeekayway 7h ago

I love both of these scenarios so much!

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u/MechanicalTurkish 4h ago

“his straining woke me”

What a fuckin thing to wake up to lmao

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u/Cultural_Orange2617 2h ago

You are very much not wrong. I thought one of my dogs was having a problem, but they were both asleep next to me.

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u/pacopac25 2h ago

You just threw in the guy taking a dump below your window like it was some banal detail?🤣

You missed what may have been your one chance in this lifetime to casually open the window and do the Bugs Bunny "ehhh, whatcha doin, Doc?"

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u/Cultural_Orange2617 2h ago

I mean, we barely interacted. I asked if he could please at least be quieter about it, or something. “I’m trying!” Okay, good luck! 🤷‍♀️ I don’t fucking know. I assume a person wouldn’t just drop trou outside of an apartment without some desperate need, and I wasn’t about to get closer to the situation!

(Also, just for clarity, it’s about ten feet from my window to the ground, so it’s not like he was creeping around. I think he just had an emergency and hid behind the bushes.)

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u/TheMoeSzyslakExp 8h ago

I do this with my toddler around the supermarket/shopping centre carparks.

“Oh buddy look that lazy person just leaving the trolley on the footpath! Isn’t that so lazy? The trolley bay is right over there. That’s very naughty isn’t it? We’ll be good and put the trolley back, won’t we?”

I do recall one person obviously refusing to look at us and hurriedly getting into their car haha.

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u/sausagebeanburrito 7h ago

One time I was at my local grocery store, and when I was walking across the parking lot to my car, I saw a woman parked behind my car put her cart directly on my driver's side rear, obviously too lazy to walk the 20 feet to the corral. However, giving the benefit of the doubt, I walked right over to it (while unlocking my car and putting my groceries inside so she knew it was mine), and walked it over to the corral (I didn't even have a cart lol). As I turn back, she pulls out of her spot and DOUBLE FIST MIDDLE FINGERS me. I busted out laughing and gave her DOUBLE FIST THUMBS UP while practically doubled over. The look on her face was priceless. She realized I didn't actually give two shits and she was the one throwing a fit over her own stupidity.

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u/CatCatCatCubed 5h ago

Which is funny because she obviously knew it was wrong. Some (very small) twinge whispered “don’t do it” which had her feeling at least a little guilty before she noticed you, which is why she overreacted. She wasn’t angry at you, she was angry at herself.

Like, I’m tempted to leave my cart somewhere fairly often, especially at this one local grocery store where I always have to park far away and it doesn’t have corrals. But I don’t, partly because it’s somewhat satisfying to return it or have someone partway offer to take it (a meeting of fate! haha), partly because the guilt would eat me alive.

(I’ve also somehow had maybe 5 times where I didn’t return a cart exactly where it should go [i.e. not connected to other carts but in a corral or corridor or something filled with carts] and got randomly called out by strangers who were apparently raring to fight about something that day but decided to pick on me vs the ?# of other people doing the same thing around me because I apparently look more bully-able. People are nuts.)

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u/Fragrant-Field-2017 1h ago

If you lock the trolleys and need a coin to unlock (which you get back when you return the cart) like in most of Europe, then everyone will start returning them. Such an easy fix!

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u/TheMoeSzyslakExp 1h ago

Yeah it’s half-half here in Australia. I hate the coin-lock trolleys if I’ve forgotten to bring my key, but some of the places here that don’t have them absolutely need them because people are apparently savages.

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u/MeatGayzer69 8h ago

Or just have a very loud inappropriate conversation about penises or cancer nearby

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u/Legitimate-Week7885 8h ago

Penis cancer!

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u/petergriffin999 7h ago

Penis cancer nearby!

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u/imgorkingit 8h ago

Unfortunately that only galvanizes most assholes

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u/CameronCrazy1984 7h ago

No it really doesn’t because they’re not used to being called out

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u/_piece_of_mind 7h ago

It's all about belief in one's self. You can always be the bigger asshole - you just need to believe in yourself.

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u/imgorkingit 7h ago

In my experience a lot of them want to be called out. I’ve had more than one dickhead try to start a big confrontation because I asked them to use headphones on hiking trails.

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u/monstamasch 7h ago

Yeah i never understood passive-aggressivness for this reason. If an ass doesn't care if they're bothering people, why would being rude suddenly change things? All this is doing is giving them confirmation that it's working. In my eyes it's just looking for an excuse to be an ass.

Also this may just be my opinion, but if there's anyone who deserves to be annoyed, it's people who respond to things in passive-aggressive ways, regardless of who the asshole originally was. That original person may not have been intentionally rude, but responding in that way is 100% trying to be rude. If someone is that way towards me I'm just ignoring it cause they can't ask me normally

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u/mclurf 8h ago

No. You start talking loud right next to them. They’ll go away

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u/network4food 7h ago

pull up a chair and join the conversation

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u/Mastercodex199 7h ago

"MAN, I WISH I KNOW HOW TO LOWER THE SPEAKER ON MY PHONE! I SWEAR, I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA BLOW OUT MY EARDRUMS."

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u/Proof_Ambassador2006 7h ago

I was walking the trail that loops around our lake here.

An older couple was taking up the exact middle of it, side by side with like a foot between them so I couldn't get around them on either side.

I said, "Oh, I guess some folk here don't stay to the right"

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u/lowkeyhighdrama 7h ago

Someone did this to me while I was getting my tires rotated. There was only two of us in the building and this lady gets on and she starts talking really really loud speaker wise next to me on her phone. I call my friend and say really loud “I can’t hear you, there’s a lady talking really loud into her phone, can you tell me again?”

She didn’t get off her speaker, unfortunately, but she did leave the building lol

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u/AnEvenNicerGuy 7h ago

Good grief 

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u/Outrageous_Tour_5218 7h ago

That’s what my husband does and it embarrasses me so much lol

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u/Rumble-Muffin 7h ago

The key is to imitate Trigger Happy TV while pretending to hold a giant phone and laugh off how silly you look with a friend.

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u/couldbeahumanbean 7h ago

Fart noises work too

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u/animousie 7h ago

Congratulations you’re starting beef with somebody who is hard of hearing

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u/Cultural_Orange2617 7h ago

Speaker + environmental noise does not make a phone conversation easier for someone who is hard of hearing. They create additional interference and distraction.

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u/animousie 7h ago

You almost had me sounding like you know what you’re talking about. It’s a louder volume… this ain’t brain science

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u/ControlReasonable667 8h ago

I completely feel and understand that last night I was in a in n out drive through for 20 minutes waiting for my food, the car in front of me played super bass heavy music the whole time with no regard for how irritating it was for everyone else. 10 minutes in im debating asking him if he could turn it down then it dawned on me most people inconsiderate enough to play music full volume in a drive through wont listen to logic or have basic manners to realize how rude it is or just dont care

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u/CompetitiveLadder609 7h ago

I thought the same but I went up to a guy who brought his Bluetooth speaker to the beach and started blaring his music and he was a bit flippant about it, but he did shut it off. I now believe that people get away with obnoxious behavior because we all are too nice or just talk ourselves out of saying something. People should be made to feel uncomfortable with their behavior.

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u/GrumpyGummyBear 6h ago

Confronting someone who is being rude isn't being mean. Being afraid of confrontation doesn't make you nice. I'm proud of you.

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u/CompetitiveLadder609 14m ago

Thanks Dad. 

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u/Cultural_Orange2617 7h ago

These are the times I fantasize about inconvenient, non-permanent, non-dangerous shit. For some reason, a recurring one is paint-filled water balloons, à la 10 Things I Hate About You. And those really impossible to remove window stickers that tell someone you parked like an asshole. Just plastering the windows with them.

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u/CameronCrazy1984 7h ago

That’s why you have to embarrass the hell out of them. It’s clear they haven’t been taught about empathy so this is the only option.

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u/PiccoloAwkward465 5h ago

Yep that’s the gist of it in my mind too. Someone so inconsiderate isn’t gonna have an epiphany because I ask them to change.

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u/Sorry-Leader-6648 8h ago

Im an angry large man. Ill keep my mouth shut with my kids around though because people are too unpredictable and my smart ass mouth doesnt need to put my sweet angels in that situation.

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u/TheArmoredKitten 7h ago

Big and loud club representing!!! Using size privileges for the public good!

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u/FadedBlackTee2 7h ago

I find that these people are typically either looking for a fight, unpredictably crazy, or just selfish / don't care regardless of whether you ask. Just not worth the fight.

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u/Professional_Fee5883 7h ago

That’s the problem though. That’s how we’ve come to just accept antisocial behavior as the norm. It’s why we’ve fostered a low trust society. The crazy obnoxious losers are allowed to do whatever they want while we just stand around and watch.

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u/FadedBlackTee2 7h ago

I mean yeah I guess but good luck telling the kid on my blue line train in Chicago to put out his joint lmao

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u/SargeUnited 1h ago

I was 100% sure you were talking about OP and I agreed until I got to the very end, and now I’m not sure.

Walking up to a stranger and hassling them because they’re on the phone is definitely looking for a fight, unpredictably crazy, and it’s pretty selfish. You don’t own the public, and they have the right to talk on the phone just like you do. Complaining about people talking on the phone near you is the same as complaining about kids playing loudly outside. I guess if you’re an only child and never lived in an apt, you’re used to the world catering to you

If I’m in public and somebody starts smoking a cigarette, I don’t demand that they leave. If there’s no ban, then I’ll leave. If there is a ban, I’m not a police officer to enforce it so I’ll still leave

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u/Miserable-Role9555 7h ago

I've asked a couple times and you either get called a karen and sworn at, or you get threatened with physical violence. And my state has VERY high gun ownership so you never know when its a real threat

Its not worth it anymore. Just got to admit that existing in public spaces is going to be uncomfortable

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u/BigCrustyTits 7h ago

The other day I was having a coffee outside a coffee shop and some guy started having a conversation on a speakerphone. So I started talking as loud as he was to my girlfriend. She would talk in a normal tone and I would respond loud.

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u/n_thomas74 8h ago

If I was at my old job, a small pizza shop, I would crank the music up until they went outside.

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u/g0ld-f1sh 7h ago

My life pro tip tip to avoiding the person being a crazy person is to be the crazy person to begin with

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u/BlackHills-Op 8h ago

I always speak out. Who cares if they get crazy? What's the chances we both have the expert combat pistol badge?

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u/Alarming_Cheetah_505 7h ago

You willing to pull out a gun over speakerphone?

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u/BlackHills-Op 7h ago

Nope. I'm willing to speak out over a speakerphone. But if you read the comment above mine for context clues, the concern is that the person will be a crazy, which would mean a violent reaction. And if someone is unreasonably violent about being asked to be respectful of others in public, I am comfortable with use of force.

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u/CameronCrazy1984 7h ago

See this is the problem

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u/UnderABig_W 7h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/jXD7kFLwudbBC

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u/Alarming_Cheetah_505 7h ago

Except they aren’t?

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u/UnderABig_W 7h ago

I assumed the part about “who has the expert pistol marksmanship badge?” was supposed to be funny. Because I laughed when the poster wrote it, because who would mean that seriously? Obviously it was exaggeration into absurdity for the sake of humor.

😳. I don’t know what to say at this point.

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u/Annual-Telephone7520 7h ago

My friend and I refer to it as honking. When people are sitting in the middle of the street or double parking or only halfway pulled over, you can give them a honk or you can not (or you can do much more). You're probably driving by in either case so they get what they want. Is there any chance it'll change anything? Not a lot, but in the former case you go from near zero chance to zero. Even them getting the tiniest bit of miffed about it is about the right amount of punishment anyway.

If you think people have gotten worse at driving, you should expect and even want more honking not less. If you think society has gotten worse, there should be more conflict not less. To want less is to want things to be worse.

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u/danstermeister 7h ago

Very mature of you. Kudos.

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u/Cool-Mom-Lover 7h ago

Yeah I used to be this way but then realized im also a little crazy and have zero tolerance for rudeness.

Im gonna call out bullshit when I see it.

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u/SwingLord420 7h ago

I just say the request politely but loud enough that everyone around me can hear so we are all collectively shaming them. 

Have had some dudes threaten me at the DMV. Oh well. 

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u/ProfessionalNo7946 7h ago

Im other way around

Figured out i have a lil social anxiety and as a kid i never DARED to step forward for whatever reason

Now I do exposure therapy, usually people aint crazy in my experience so far

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u/jnjustice 6h ago

I can’t be bothered and I don’t want a chance the person being a crazy person.

that's what I tell my wife, people are fucking nuts these days and don't give a shit to hurt someone really bad. I'd rather be mildly inconvenienced than hurt or dead

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u/Competitive_Travel16 5h ago

My frickin' $99 Moto G must have a bad proximity sensor, because my cheek always pushes the buttons. Sorry everyone.

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u/mahreow 5h ago

OPs at a public swimming pool, not a library. In what world is having a conversation on the phone with someone a bad thing in such a situation, y'all are fuckin nuts

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u/Loughnashade 5h ago

In New York, you’d be beat up for asking lol

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u/Stock-College-4809 4h ago

Found the reddit mod

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u/Kaiisim 2h ago

Her reaction shows why I don't bother.

If they were someone who cared that I was upset with their behaviour, they would have already stopped their behaviour.

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u/SuperEssay1 1h ago

Most people who do this are also people that are willing to get into an argument over it.

They don't give a toss about others which is why they do it in the first place.

Then you end up in an argument with someone so either way it ruins your enjoyment.

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u/WillyBeShreddin 7h ago

Just empty their tires of air with a small rock in a valve stem cap and carry on about your day.

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u/PracticeBaby 7h ago

I tend to pick my battles out there in the community. I just ask myself SHOULD I say something bc many times I feel worse after staying quiet. I never road rage either bc everyone is driving a deadly weapon out there

With age comes wisdom how bout that

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u/_wobbly_bobbly_ 7h ago

Thats kind of how I felt. When I was younger I got in a fair amount of fights. And im not claiming im so tough guy who WON every fight. But I wasnt afraid to lose. Anymore im still not afraid to get beat up. I am however terrified some crazy person with nothing to lose is going to escalate something to knives or guns. So I dont stand up to strangers in public near as much as I used to , if at all