Just needed to post somewhere. It was so quick, just last week we went on a hike and now she’s gone. A few days of refusing to eat despite all of the medication we gave her. Anemic with masses on her liver and spleen. We helped per pass last night at home. She was 12. I just need someone to know she existed and I need to say this to the world. Please tell me that things get better

Dear Lucy,

I “liked” a photo on Hinge because I saw your little brown face. I went on a first date with your dad because he agreed to bring you along. We got ice cream, and you waited outside so nicely. I thought to myself “wow that is a really well-behaved dog, this must be a great guy”.

I was bamboozled! You were a menace and a terrorist: jail breaking and sending us into a panicked search party only to find you waiting at the front door when we got home; barking at people in their own yards; digging random holes in the yard for us to trip in; pooping n+1 times on a walk, where “n” is the number of bags we brought with us

But you were also the most wonderful dog, and I can’t begin to list all of the things you were or you did that brought us joy.

I would give anything to have you here again, snoring like an old man with sleep apnea. I would take as many whiffs of your low-tide breath as you were willing to offer. I promise I would let you dig up every single peony root, and you could even get right under the covers afterwards to leave your gritty debris in the sheets

You were with us for all the moves, and finally the house we bought for you and Kenny. Everywhere I look I’m reminded of you: The house is stuccoed, which we wanted specifically for you since you love rubbing your flanks against the walls. There’s an upstairs window in a little nook, perfectly sized for you to stand and bark at innocent passersby (or nothing at all). Your little tumbleweed balls of hair are pervasive. I’m so happy you got to enjoy it here with us. I just wish we had more time with you.

I’m preparing myself for the fresh waves of grief I’ll feel with things like walking only one dog; the nausea of spacing out our Chewy dog food autoship; the unexpected gut punch from vet emails telling us that you’re due for routine care and vaccines. I don’t know how long it will take for me to stop crying but the pain is a small price to pay for all the years you let me be your mom

I hope they have dog beaches in heaven. I hope you’re running through the waves, with a full-on jackal face and a sandy snoot. I hope I see you again, and you’ll come running up to me with one of your “ear-rections” and chompy face. Until then I hope I keep finding your porcupine hairs embedded in my clothing for years to come, just as a reminder of what a menace you were

You told us it was time on Monday 9/7 - our wedding day. I like to think you held out until then to fully see through what you started between your dad and me. Mission accomplished, Lucy. Thank you, and I’ll love you forever.

I've seen a few threads like this here but thought I'd share something that happened to me today, and ask if anyone wants to share any similar experiences.

I'll start by saying that I am typically fairly agnostic toward these sorts of things, though definitely leave space for the possibility of something beyond our current reality or whatever. Don't comment if you're going to tell me it's goofy, lol.

After I made the euthanasia appointment for my cat, I spent a lot of time talking to her in the final days. I told her that if it were possible for her to send me signs every once in a while to let me know she was still with me, I'd really like that. I told her one thing specifically I would look for is sunflowers (they are my favorite flower, and one of my favorite photos of her is of her sat next to a bouquet of sunflowers), but also I trusted her to send me whatever she could and I'd figure it out.

Since she's been gone, I've been seeing sunflowers everywhere. Now, I know they are in season at this time of year, so it's not unusual for them to be everywhere-- but still, there have been moments where I am distracted and I happen to look up just in time to see someone passing me with a sunflower bouquet, or to see a pot of them on a stoop when I'm out for a walk when typically I wouldn't be paying attention, for example. I like to think these are little winks from her.

Anyway, today has been a particularly hard day. I asked her out loud if she could try to show me that she was okay. A few hours later, I was cleaning up my apartment and found one of her whiskers! It was underneath a piece of furniture and I have no idea how it could have naturally made it's way to that spot. It kind of took my breath away, and made me feel so much better.

Maybe these are just coincidences, but it's nice to feel closer to her for a moment.

Today, I was not expecting to be the one to first see my cat deceased. She was 19 and I’ve had her since I was 5. I am now 19. It’s been long years growing, loving, and spending time with my cat in so many different ways. I miss her duck sounding meow before she got sick. I miss her youth, but I miss her elderly stage as well. She was my best friend since the beginning and I want her to know how much I miss her. I’ve had 2 cats who have passed before Sophie but Sophie’s death is hitting me the hardest. I still don’t know how to put it into words, the words I want right now. We buried her tonight and I wrapped her up in a blanket she always loved to lay on. I know she’s happy. She’s no longer sick or depressed. I’ve cried at least 10 times tonight, I’ve been In denial, shock, sadness, anger, and depression/emptiness. What gives me a sense of reasoning is, my grandpas birthday is today. I think I believe my grandpa was telling her that it’s her time to go with him. Rest in peace, Sophie. I love you, and my other babies, so much. Fly high as much as possible. 🕊️❤️

Hi everyone. I’m coming to you all in crisis and on the worst day of my life. My sweet pup Mae passed away earlier today after being struck by a car. I’d love to share a photo but it appears I can’t. Please give all the hugs and kisses to your sweet pups. My girl would be happy to know other pups got showered with hugs and kisses in her honor.

Didn't know where else to post this and not the kind of person to talk about this sort of stuff normally. I'm a 31yo male and have a partner and four year old child.

I got home from work yesterday and my dog Buffy was out in the backyard (she's mainly outside while my partner and I are at work) and usually I let her straight inside but this afternoon for some reason I chose to have a quick shower and get changed first.

I can see my backyard from my shower window and had it open. I heard her howl, which she never normally does but she's a bit of a princess and she's always inside when we are home so I just put it to her wanting to come inside. I got out, got changed and went downstairs. Opened the back door and called her name with no response and couldn't see her.

There were some bed sheets hung up on the clothesline and when I pulled them aside I saw her laying there on her side with her eyes open but not moving and couldn't see her ribcage moving. I called her name a few times with no response. Put my hand on her ribcage and felt no breathing. It was super difficult to see her eyes, she just looked like she was in a frozen state. I tried to close her eyes but her eyelids wouldn't close..

I called my partner to tell her and she was obviously distraught and shocked, as was I, and was home within 5 minutes. We told our son to go upstairs and I had to carry my poor beautiful pooch out through the house into my car to take her to the vet. She was completely limp and dangling, she was already gone. It was super hard to handle. She's a big dog (American Staffordshire). I stayed with my son while my partner went to the vet. The vets confirmed her death and told us that it was likely a snake bite.

I had to remain strong for my son and didn't want him to see me upset. He was asking me where Buffy was and I explained that she has gone to heaven and is very happy there and not to worry. Later that night, as soon as he went to bed, my walls came down and I had a massive cry.

My partner is shattered and didn't go into work today but I went in, and the whole day I haven't been able to get the image of her laying there out of my head. I woke up crying a few times overnight as well.. Just super hard to handle.

I feel a massive amount of guilt because literally 15 minutes earlier when I arrived home, she looked straight at me wanting to come inside and for whatever reason, that afternoon I chose to get changed first.

I'll miss her a lot. I missed having her in my bed last night and I know my partner did too, she barely slept the entire night. She was a beautiful dog with a great heart and died way too young. She wasn't even 2 years old.

Sorry if this is too confronting to some, I just don't open up about much and want to remain strong for my family but I'm not dealing with this very well. The guilt of not letting her in as soon as I got home and the image of her laying there with no response feels like it won't go away anytime soon.

I still feel like I can’t get enough air in my lungs whenever I think about her. I’ve lived my entire adult life with that dog. I was so sad when my childhood dogs passed when I was a teenager but it’s so much different when it’s your own dog. The first dog who I paid their vet bills, I house trained completely by myself, and I had to make the decision to euthanize, no one else made it, it had to be me. And I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m scared to forget looking at her. I have so many pictures of her but it’s not the same. Right now I can see myself looking at her, I can remember and feel what it was like to look into her eyes because I did it just three days ago but I’m scared for when I can’t remember.

just wanted to tell someone. thanks for reading.

It’s been 1 year and one month since my 11.5 year old boxer Iris passed away. What can I say that I haven’t already said? I hate my life without her. I still think or talk to her everyday, her box still lays in bed with us. I wish everyday she was here and that she survived the cancer. I compare every single dog to her, I look for her in the rainbows 🌈 I look for her in every dog I encounter. I hate my new normal of missing her constantly knowing she will never come home again. I don’t want another dog I just want MY dog and even though her sister is here I still think of my Iris and wish she was here. I hope she comes back to me in some form or that she visits my dreams soon.

It’s been 2 weeks since I lost my soul dog suddenly at 13. I’m lucky I have a good support system that gets me out and on the surface I seem ok. But I feel dead inside a lot of the time, like I’m seemingly acting normal but there’s this hole inside me. I feel numb sometimes and in unbearable pain others. I took time off work to grieve but I have to go back this Thursday. I work at a remote lodge and do 14 day shifts. It can be a mentally challenging place to work due to the work culture and interpersonal relationships. There is minimal privacy and in guest facing 13+ hours a day. I can’t afford to take more time off but I’m dreading going back, I’m worried about how I will handle this grief in that environment. I currently journal and cry in my room multiple times a day at home and have unlimited time to do that. Any insight on returning to work and how it went?

Two of my cats got into a fight and it ended with him slashing my baby Clementine’s throat. It was traumatizing. I rushed upstairs when I heard the fight to blood everywhere and her gasping for breath. I was home alone, immediately called my roommate who was on his way home and sat on the floor keeping pressure on clementines wound.
We rushed to the emergency vet. Her heart stopped in the car. I was giving her mouth to mouth.
The vet got her heart started again but discovered the damage was too much. It was too late. She couldn’t breathe on her own.

They stopped trying to save her.

Words cannot describe how special this cat was to me. She was my everything. She slept with me every night in my arms. She comforted me when I was sad or sick. She was always always in my lap, always wanted to be held. She was happy if I carried her around the house all day. She smelled good and she was so soft and so sweet and I loved her more than anything on the planet.

I can’t get the image of her suffocating out of my head. I had hoped that the day I say goodbye to her would have been peacefully, of old age. Not her suffering so much. Not her crying and scared as she died in my arms. I don’t know what to do with this grief. I feel like I’m going to die, it hurts so much.

Agony is too light a word. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.

Im sorry for the long post, I think I just need somewhere to put it where people will understand, and I hope that it may help someone else who is struggling right now.

Yesterday, at 4:02pm, we said goodbye to our cat Marley. I use the term “cat” lightly, as Marley wasnt "just a cat" as some people have told me when I have expressed how devastated we are. He was family, our companion and one of the biggest parts of our lives. He had been there through so much, us buying our first home, our daughter being born, my own personal anxiety breakdown last year just to name a few. We loved him more than I can properly put into words.

A few months ago I noticed he was losing a little weight. At first it didn't seem hugely concerning as he was still eating, drinking, playing and behaving like himself. We took him to the vet, had blood and urine tests and an ultrasound due to his kidney values from the blood tests. Initially the vet believed it was acute kidney injury and that whatever was going on might be something treatable or even temporary. We were told to retest bloods and urine in 3 months, something I am now feeling so guilty for, and I wished I had pushed for a second opinion, but I trusted our vet. I am by no means blaming her, but I am really beating myself up wishing I had done more at that time.

During those 3 months, while he was still being himself, he kept losing weight, I called the vet twice and she said she wasn’t concerned provided he was still eating and drinking, and to still wait the 3 month window to retest. 24th August we reached the 3 month mark, and we did more tests and an ultrasound, and eventually took him to a specialist after a referral from our vets as she noted his creatinine had risen to 508 and there had been changes in his kidneys from his last ultrasound.

That's where everything fell apart. The specialist admitted him last Thursday, and following more detailed tests and a biopsy, they found end stage kidney disease in both kidneys, and cancer in his right kidney. The hardest part was that his left kidney was already badly affected by kidney disease, so surgery to remove the right with the cancer wasn't an option, and this is where I wonder if we had been given a referral back in May, would this surgery have been an option. We were also told chemotherapy was very unlikely to give him any meaningful benefit to renal cancer.

For a while we hoped we might somehow get a miracle, and the IV fluids would bring his levels back down, or that an infection may have made his kidney values raise so drastically. We wanted to bring him home, we wanted more time, how could this be happening, he was only 6 years old. I kept thinking that if we could just get him stable, perhaps we'd get months or even years with him.

But he became dependent on IV fluids just to keep his kidney values from climbing dramatically. He stopped eating properly, became incredibly weak and lost more and more weight. For context, in January he weighed 4.6kg, and on admission to the specialist clinic, he was down to 3.49kg.

Eventually we had to ask the question every pet owner dreads, and if it would be kinder to let him go. The vet didn’t want to steer our decision, but told us that saying goodbye would not be unkind.

And even though I knew deep down that they were right, I still feel like my heart has been ripped out.
Marley died in my son’s arms. We held him, stroked him and told him how much we loved him while he passed away. His family was there with him and he wasn't alone for a single second.

But now he's gone, the house feels completely different. I keep expecting to see him, I keep looking for him without even thinking. There are little places around the house where he should be, and every time I remember that he is never coming back, it feels like the loss is happening all over again. I know I’m only 24 hours into the grieving process, but I am so broken right now.

I'm struggling really badly with the what ifs, I know rationally that we did everything we could. We took him to the vet, we investigated, we took our vets expert guidance, we took him to a specialist miles away from our home at the drop of a hat once we were referred, we paid thousands for tests and treatment, we stayed with him, and we loved him. But grief doesn't seem to care about rationality, it just keeps telling me that I should have done something different, and I failed him.

I also keep thinking about how much I wanted a miracle. I genuinely believed there might somehow be a way to get my boy home and have him with us for years. Instead everything fell apart so quickly.
I don't know how I'm supposed to accept that someone who was part of my everyday life is suddenly just gone. Thursday we dropped him off thinking worst case it’s kidney disease and we can manage it with diet etc, Sunday we are having to say goodbye to him as he has a month at most left and would deteriorate very quickly once off IV fluids, and we just couldn’t do that to him.

I know people say that time makes it easier. Right now I honestly can't imagine that. I don't want to "move on" from Marley, I just want to learn how to carry the love for him without it hurting quite so much.

If you've lost your pet, especially where you had to make that awful decision, how did you get through the first days and weeks, and if you've ever felt guilty afterwards, even when you know you did everything you could, how did you learn to forgive yourself?

I just miss my boy. I hope wherever Marley is now, he's peaceful, pain free and knows how incredibly loved he was. From a heartbroken pet owner, lost and trying to find a way through the grief.

I lost my first pet dog 2 days ago and I’m heartbroken. I got him as my first puppy when I was 10 and I am 20 now. I just moved away for college a few weeks ago and the last I saw him before he died was a week before. And I just feel so guilty because I didn’t pay much attention to him when I last saw him. He was more like my mom’s dog so we weren’t super “close” but I sure did love him. He was a Maltese-yorkie that loved to protect his family. It’s so eye opening how much we get used to animals involved in our daily routines and the littlest things that we don’t notice until it’s too late. I feel like I didn’t take enough photos of him. He passed away from a heart attack and I wasn’t there and it’s killing me I didn’t get to say goodbye. I feel so out of place now. I didn’t realize how comforting it was to know my dog was at home always waiting for me. I don’t really know why I’m posting this I’m just really upset. It’s also killing me to replay it in my head driving back home and walking into his lifeless body on the floor and having to say goodbye and he doesn’t even know I came to say goodbye. And then carrying him out in a towel to the car to drive to the animal hospital and paying for him to be cremated. And his eyes were so lifeless💔I keep thinking about how cold he must be and I worry if they will treat him ok. And I have to wait 2 weeks to get him back😫i just want my dog back, I would do anything to go back and say goodbye and tell him I love him. I didn’t realize how much this loss would hurt me. 💔

Back during COVID, I resolved to get a cat companion. Not too long after, a coworkers brother’s cat had kittens. I expressed interest and drove to meet them. It was there I met two kittens. I thought, well, she’ll need a friend so I got them both. Brought them home in January of 2021 where they’ve stayed with me ever since.

A few days ago I noticed that one of them was not her usual self, but I brushed it off because I did bring home a new baby brother for them. The day before yesterday, i noticed it was getting worse and she was more lethargic and hadn’t eaten. So after work (the next day), I took her to the vet because I figured she had a URI (something they’d gotten before). Her gums were pale, so the vet did a stat Xray and couldn’t find a reason. So the vet told me that if my cat started panting it was time to take her to the ER. Brought her home after fluids, gave her love, and she began purring which was an improvement.

Returned home not too long ago, and she was worse. Panting. Pitiful meows. Too weak to even greet. I brought her to the ER and was told she was severely anemic. Blood transfusion is a must. I prepared for that. I told them to do it….but then saw the bill for 3 nights which is what the vet wanted. $12k. I have pet insurance, but even with it there’s no way I could afford that. Apparently the other factor is that cats typically have two blood types. A and B. A is most common. B is rare. She’s got B and they only have one unit. They’ll have to get more from a different facility too.

I kept trying to negotiate. What about 2 nights? 8k.What about 1 night? 6k. As I was calculating what I could and couldn’t afford, the vet tested her for feline leukemia and FIV.

Positive for leukemia. Labs from a month ago had both my cats at a healthy level. For the progression to go as quickly, we came to the conclusion that the cause of her acute anemia was likely bone marrow cancer.

Got second opinion. All factors considered. Even if financials weren’t a barrier, both vets recommended euthanasia.

So I held her. First, propofol. Next saline flush. Vet looked at me, “are you ready?” I nod. She injects it. Within seconds my sweet cat is gone. I gave her all of the love I could in her short life. Now I have to find out if her sister also has leukemia.

This is going to be a long week.

hi. i’m writing this while laying in bed and grieving. so i’m sorry if the writing is all over the place. i’m also sorry that this story is very long. i just need to rant. i think it’ll help me

i lost my dog sunday morning. it was a really messy and traumatic way for him to pass. we think he ate something that was poisoned on his saturday morning walk. the entirety of saturday after his walk, he was throwing up so much. he vomited so much to the point where he literally was vomiting nothing. he was just dry retching. he had lost so much weight in such little time from vomiting so much. we didn’t take him to the vet as 1. it’s so expensive and we can’t afford spending thousands of dollars on them to just xray him and for him to potentially to be just fine (this has happened in the past as he has a very sensitive stomach so we weren’t too concerned) and 2. it’s a saturday and no vets were opened except the one 24 hr vet that we have had a terrible experience at before.

my mum decided to spend the night downstairs with the dog in case he kept vomiting. my boyfriend and i fell asleep around 11:30pm as i had to wake up the next day for a 7:15am shift, working at a restaurant for father’s day (it was planned to be a VERY busy day). at 2:36am, i heard a banging at my bedroom door, and my mum shouting that the dog is bleeding everywhere. so my boyfriend and i shot up out of bed, went out to the living room and saw blood literally everywhere. it had come out of his rear end. my mum and i dragged my dog to my shower to wash him down while my dad and my boyfriend went to clean up the blood. after the shower, you could tell my dog was very weak. he struggled to walk and stay up right. we were able to take him back to the living room but he wasn’t able to go as far to his bed, so he collapsed and lied down on the hard tiled floors. he looked so defeated. it broke my heart. again, we didn’t want to take him to the 24hr vets because of money and past experience reasons. but honestly, we all wish we did. because it just went down hill from then. after lying on the floor for about an hour, my dog managed to work up the energy to walk to his bed, which was placed right in-front of the sofa where all 4 of us sat. it took about 30 mins until he started dry retching/vomiting again. he did that for a couple of times until about 4am, where my parents told me i need to go to sleep as i had a big day in a couple of hours. so i did exactly that.

my boyfriend and i headed to my room so i could try and sleep. but honestly, i dont think i slept at all. after trying to sleep for god knows how many minutes, my mum knocks on my door again and tells me hes bleeding again. we do the same routine again and rush him to my shower and clean him. at this point, i think its just before 5am. i walk out of my bathroom and just break down. i was so scared. my boyfriend comforts me. i was so grateful he was here while this was all happening. he was so helpful and supportive to my and my whole family. i realise that i’m not sure if my dog will make it, so i decide to go upstairs and wake up my younger brother (17) and tell him what’s happening. then i go downstairs back to my bedroom, walk inside my bathroom, and see my dog just look so defeated, and nearly lifeless in front of my shower. i break down again. it just looks like his life is very slowly being drained from him. it literally kills me inside. i was hurting so much. we try to move my dog out from my bathroom, and he takes maybe 3 steps, and he wobbles and collapses at the bottom of my bed. looking like he is just dying. at about 5am, my mum finds another vet clinic that turns out to be 24 hours (when i looked on google maps, it said they open at 7am). so i called up the vets and ask if they are open and can take my dog in for an emergency. they say yes and to come in at 6am. i’m kinda pissed at the vets bc if their google maps said they were open, we would’ve rushed him to them a lot sooner, and they probably could’ve saved him before it was too late. anyways, 5:45am rolls around and my dog starts bleeding again, right at the bottom of my bed. my boyfriend drags my dog away slightly so we can clean up the mess, and we wipe him down from where he is at the bottom of my bed. then my boyfriend carries my dog to his bed, and my dad and him lift up the bed and carry him to my dads car to go to the vet. i go out and help, and i say goodbye to my dog. but i did not kiss him goodbye bc my dad said ill see him again later. and i regret that so much. i wish i kissed him while he was still warm and alive.

I couldn’t go to the vets with them, as i had to leave for work in the next hour. so as my mum, dad, and boyfriend take my dog to the vets, my brother and i just lie down in my bed in silence. about 30 mins pass and i get a call from my mum saying they are coming home. i frantically asked them what happened, and they said that they handed my dog over, and they are going to pump him with fluids and do a blood test. and all they can do is wait. so they suggested they go home. so they came home. i got ready for work and i headed out. i tried to keep myself distracted but it was so hard as i only got about 3 hours of sleep. 8am rolls around, and i open up the venue for customers to come in. literally 2 minutes after opening up the venue, i get a call from my mum and she said he’s gone. i dropped to my knees and screamed and cried. i always thought people were being over dramatic when they did that. but i understand now. i was so broken and weak that my legs collapsed underneath me. my best friend was gone. luckily, someone was able to come in and cover my shift at 9:30am. so i left instantly. my boyfriend met me at my work and drove me home as i wasn’t stable enough to drive. i got home, and we headed to the vets to say our goodbyes. and that was when i was able to kiss him goodbye. but he was so stiff. and so cold. he was not my normal baby boy. he was gone. my best friend is dead. but his ears were still perked up. like he could still hear us. his ears always perked up whenever he would listen to us and hear his favourite words.

anyways, i know it’s still fresh, but im struggling so much at the moment. i can’t stop reliving that night. it’s so traumatic. and it was out of no where. it was so sudden. and my whole house hold atm is just so quiet and eerie. my whole family is so depressed. and my dad is not the person to be emotional. he always said how he was so fed up with our dog. but deep down, he loved him so much. and he admitted that. his words were “that bastard made me fall in love with him, and then leave me”. and that’s exactly how it feels. 8 years of us loving him, and then one day, he’s gone. it was so sudden. and it was so messy and so traumatic. i can’t shake his last moments. i haven’t been able to shower in my shower. i can’t even walk into my bathroom bc i just see him there lying on the ground dying. and it’s the same at the bottom of my bed. it’s also just so hard seeing his toys and beds lying around the house. empty. the house is so quiet. it’s even more quiet when it’s just me in the house. usually when my parents leave for work, and when i have a day off from work, my parents would open my door to let my dog in my room. and he would place himself at the corner of my bed. and lie down. and we would sleep together. i would hear his little snores and feel his twitches when he has a dream. but now, everything is so quiet. i feel so empty. everything reminds me of him. because i never spent a day without him. it was always me and him. it has never just been me. i feel so lonely. and i’m struggling to much.

17 days ago I thought my boy Ashe had gotten out of the house and went missing. I was endlessly and tirelessly searching for those 17 days. It turns out he was never missing at all. We found him deceased in my home after smelling something weird. He had been so hidden away underneath a bed we just never noticed when we initially searched the house. Never in my mind did I think he was already gone...

He showed no signs of illness. In fact he seemed healthier than ever the morning I thought he went missing. He still ate and drank really well and ran and played. I guess my boy was sick and we just didn't know it.

I'm completely devestated at this outcome, but at the same time at least a huge weight is off my chest in that I have an answer. The unknown was killing me and I was having daily panic attacks.

I gave Ashe the best life he could have ever had in the 3 years he lived with me since he was a small 4 week old kitten. I don't think I could have done anything different to prevent this.

RIP Ashe. You'll always be my boy no matter what.

I unfortunately disregarded signs tol it was to late.My loss of her will forever haunt me.I si.ply waited thong to seek help for her.Please all pet lovers and owners try to recognize the signs that their health is failing g.I did and although it may have been hereditary for her,I took her in to late.I unfortunately had her euthanized early this morning and my guilt is killing g me.I almost hate my self.I have 3 other feli es and for sure I I tend on watching their health a bit closer afternoon g my Baby girl baby today.Tore up I. AUBURN ,WASH. SHERYL A.

My parents’ dog has basically been my own for years. I lived with them until this past July and spent a lot of time caring for him. He has cancer and has been declining for about a year. He still eats and has moments where he seems like himself, but he struggles to walk and is in pain a lot of the time.
My parents were planning to put him down shortly before I moved, but changed their minds at the last minute. My dad has told me he just can’t bring himself to do it.
I live about 3 hours away now and haven’t seen him since I moved 7 weeks ago. I feel horrible about it, but watching him suffer while I lived there was incredibly hard on me. I’ve been dealing with the anticipatory grief for a year now. I just don’t know if I can handle seeing him like that again.
I’m scared that I’ll regret not seeing him one last time after he’s gone, but I’m also scared that seeing him again would make it worse.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and chosen not to see them again? Did you regret it?

This morning i decided to put my dog down after his health was in decline. Over the past few weeks my dog had been gradually losing vision to the point where he became blind in one eye and mostly blind in the other. He started becoming more confused and was sleeping more but ate and used the bathroom normally. But after putting his symptoms into google i decided to take him to the vet to get his vision check and perhaps they could treat it so that he'll be blind but still can be with us. But other results showed that it could be very serious and might be time to consider euthanasia. That thought made me break down and i cried like i never had before.

Upon his check up, the vet informed me that he shows signs of Lymphoma and that the loss in sight and other his other issues are caused by it. They said they had some treatments but his quality of life is just going to worsen and we'd just be delaying the inevitable. I didnt want to remember my dog suffering and confused and came to the decision that its best to say goodbye. I couldnt sleep all night just felt sad that this was my last night with him. I took him this morning while he was still sleepy and resting. My regret comes from did i move to fast. His quality of life was just getting worse and i dont think i could have waited for him to go naturally. I didnt want his final days to be scared and in pain. I didnt want to remember my dog that way. Right now im just feeling regret and guilt that i shouldve have spent just a little more time with him but i was just delaying and making it more painful to see him go knowing the condition that he's in.

Hey there all, I wanted to share my story on here to help grieve but maybe help someone who is also going through the grief. This is very fresh, I want to process this and read that writing down your feelings can help. Will warn you, its a long one explaining the loss of my precious dog, my experience of the decision and going through putting her down

I had a little pug chihuahua cross called Ellie. She was my sister's dog originally but helped my sister by taking Ellie in after some changes in her life. It was meant to be temporary but 8 years later, we still had the little diva.

She was such a little munchkin with a heart of gold and the attitude of a Kardashian. She was a big mumma's girl and would follow me throughout the house. We called her a little tripping hazzard because she would always be by my feet, especially when food was involved. But no matter what, she would always want to be by my side.

This last weekend, on Friday 4th September 2026, we discovered a large mass on her lower abdomen. Took her to the vet and was told she had mastitis. I was worried she had herniated her bowel so on the way, I was already crying from the thought of having to put her down. There was a ray of hope of it being an infection and not something immediately life threatening.

On the Saturday, she and I cuddled practically all day. She was tired and slept most of the day. I needed to carry her places as she was just getting weaker. She wasn't eating with the vigor she always had or the amount.

By Sunday morning, it all went south. She had the start of an abscess on the infection. By the time we could see the vet about 2 hours later, the abscess was huge. They drained it but were honest that it might not heal properly and that she would struggle. She was 16 years old. We left and had to go to the shop for some supplies. I was broken but knew in my heart that I didn't want her to suffer because of my selfishness to keep her as long as possible. My partner and I spoke and it was determined we would have her put down at home that very evening.

I cuddled with her for hours, lying her on my chest. I was crying as calmly as possible to not panic or worry her. I messaged and had calls with family members giving their good byes and sending their love.

By 5pm, the vet arrived, by that time another angry abscess had grown. The vet was wonderful and calm. Ellie even perked up enough to do what barks she could manage when she came in. That made me want to reconsider but I remembered that having her die of the infection, in pain, would not be peaceful for her. I remember the vet wanting to talk about what happens after but I just couldn't really hear. All my focus was taking in everything I could about Ellie. The feel of her fur, her smell, the sound of her breathing, her big gorgeous eyes and her weight as she laid on my chest. I told her over and over how much I loved her even though she had lost her hearing a while ago from age.

It was time, still laying with Ellie on me, my partner petting her and our other dog from the side, we held back our emotions as much as possible to keep things calm. As the vet was about to put in the anaesthitic, I kissed her little head. The drug went in, as soon as it was she stopped breathing. The vet checked her heart when the dose was done and confirmed she was gone. We just broke down. I held her tightly as I cried the ugliest way I ever had. We cried with her for a while as the vet, bless her, gave fusses to our other dog. When Ellie left, part of me went with her. I had a chat with the vet after calming down, still holding Ellie close, we agreed she was ready to go by how quickly she passed. I felt so suddenly calm from the relief knowing she wasn't suffering anymore. We talked about what would happen with Ellie, cremation, chose a cute little heart shaped urn for her. All the while, I still craddled Ellie to my chest. After a few more minutes, I wrapped her up in the blanket after saying my last goodbyes and sorrys, then gave her to the vet.

When the vet was gone I broke down again. The rest of the night was of me being reminded of the void without Ellie and balling like a baby. I remember going for a shower before bed but I just cried because Ellie would either wait outside the bathroom or come in the bathroom with me while I showered. Going to bed was even worse. I couldn't get comfortable knowing she wasn't there. I cuddled my childhood teddy for the first time in years trying to feel so kind of comfort. I woke up multiple times that night. I felt lost when I couldn't feel her there. When I got up in the morning and went downstairs, my little shadow wasn't following me. My other dog stays in bed with my partner in the mornings so I felt so very alone while getting ready and making breakfast. My day felt bizzare, too quiet. My other dog is there but she's more independent and doesn't require the attention Ellie needed. I miss my little shadow by my feet, my cuddle buddy throughout the day for 8 straight years. My little mumma's girl now joins all her lost fluffy friends running on the winds.

This pain is fresh, it feels like it won't heal. But Ellie wouldn't want me to be spending my life crying over her, she was always worried when I was sad, so when the time is right I know not to feel bad about returning some kind of normalcy.

Four hours ago, I discovered my cat was in my dryer while I ran it. She was a kitten and was scheduled to get fixed soon. I have never felt so much guilt and regret and grief in my life. I know it was an accident but I had no excuse for being so careless.
I knew that this happened and I used to always check my cats and do headcount’s and I don’t know why I started to become lax on if. None of my cats were ever really interested in the drier and I don’t even know how she got in there without me noticing.

Her name was jellybean and she was my void. I genuinely don’t know how I’m going to life with myself for doing this. She didn’t deserve to die, especially like this.

I feel like this is a horrible dream and it isn’t real and I don’t know how I could have done this.

I was in the zone of cleaning and I never stepped away from the dryer while I was loading it. I don’t know how it happened.

I remember realizing that it was making a weird noise a bit after it was running but I thought I’d accidentally put a shoe in there and I’m a horrible adult so I just let it run.

I can’t believe I killed her and I will never get over that.

I don’t expect or even really want comfort.

Jellybean was a littermate of my best friend’s cat and I don’t know how I’m going to tell her. I don’t expect her to forgive me.

Will I ever be able to grow past this? Or forgive myself? I know it was an accident but I just can’t stop thinking about how I found her. I didn’t even see her, I felt her in the clothes and instantly knew what I’d done. I tried cpr and I tried calling all the emergency vets I could possibly go to but she was already gone.

I can’t stop thinking about how scared she must have been and how painful it must of been or how she looked when I found her.

I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this and I feel selfish for only thinking about me when I killed one of my babies or even took a life that didn’t deserve to be taken.

I kept thinking that if I’d stopped it when I noticed the noise, maybe I could have saved her. I can’t believe I did this and I’ve never been so sorry for anything in my life.

I keep hoping I wake up or maybe I’m having a psychotic break. I don’t think I will ever be ok again.

I don’t know what to do.

We unexpectedly lost our golden 3 weeks ago at only 7.5 years old to cancer - does this ever get easier? I cry every day and I just miss him so much it physically hurts in a way I have never experienced before. I logically know I will never forget him, that grief is a journey, and there will always be things that make me sad but for those who have been through it, especially similar circumstances of unexpected/ sudden loss, I'd really like some comforting words and to know if/ when things might get less emotionally intense?

I got my soul dog when I was in my mid-twenties. We adopted another dog a few years ago. I love her so much, but she isn't my soul dog. My first boy was.

He was truly my everything, my baby, my firstborn. (I have a baby now and I often whisper that she's my second child). He became terribly ill earlier this year, and after 10 years of such a good life, it became apparent that he was suffering and we needed to make a choice.

I don't know if I've ever hurt that much. I don't think a day has gone by where I don't think of him, even though it's been months. My other dog just does not fill the void, even though she is so dearly loved too.

I recently saw a post a few hours ago about seeing signs that they're alright on the other side. And... I've never seen a sign. I don't know where to look or how to look for them.

When we put him down, it was very far from where we live. A familiar place to him/us, but not home. And while we have his ashes, I feel like he can't find me.

I have had two dreams about him - one where we are trying to reach each other, but can't. And another where I tell him I'm ready for him to come home.

I want so badly to have a sign that he's okay. Or still with me. Or not scared. I'm thinking of going to an animal medium, but I'm not sure. The dreams left me feeling worse.

How do you know when you see a sign?