r/mildlyamusing • u/MackFenzie • 12h ago
Dragging a body is hard
My husband (34M) has been lifting weights consistently for years and is extremely strong. He’s also a gamer. He’s been playing Project Zomboid, and this morning his friend trolled him by spawning a bunch of logs into his inventory, maxing out his character’s carrying capacity so that my husband had to stop what he was doing to unload his supply of logs before he could move.
I started laughing because while a pile of logs would certainly leave me incapacitated, my big, strong, hunk o’ muscle could probably actually handle them in real life. I was like “it’s funny, most of the time, characters are way stronger than the people playing them, but a character with ‘realistic’ stats probably seems wimpy to you.”
He said “well, the way the mechanics of the backpack work in this game is weird, so these logs are heavy but they’re also like 20 feet long, so, no, I couldn’t cart those around in real life regardless of the weight. But it does bug me that my character in this game gets winded dragging a corpse across a parking lot. Like, that’s ridiculous.”
I just kept laughing and informed him it might seem easy for him but the average person would absolutely be out of breath in that scenario.
He was like “nah, you don’t even have to lift it, just drag it. What, you don’t think you could drag a person across the ground?”
Me: “uh, depends. A person my size? Probably. It’d be hard tho. You? Absolutely not.”
Husband: “You really don’t think so? Eh, I bet you could and you just don’t realize how strong you are.”
I was like, bet. I made him lay down on the floor and picked up his legs (which, by the way, were heavy on their own) and leaned back with all my weight. His ankles started popping but he didn’t move lmao. I put one of his legs down so I could try pulling with a better grip on the one leg with both hands. Absolutely ineffective. Zero movement.
Into his headset, I said, “I was indeed unable to drag him across the floor even a little bit.” His buddy yelled, “I’m not surprised!!!” And just cracked up loud enough for me to hear it haha.
Meanwhile, my husband was very slow to get back up off the floor. “So… if I were unconscious and the building caught fire… you wouldn’t be able to get me out… shit… new fear unlocked…”
I told him that yes, I definitely need him to be conscious for any emergencies, please and thank you lol.
For the rest of the day, he’s been low key having an existential crisis over how much harder everyday tasks must be for the average person 🤣