r/CaughtMyEye • u/detectiverobert • 20h ago

A middle school custodian was suspended and later resigned after secretly living above the school auditorium for six months. He furnished the space with beds, furniture, and a mini-fridge, and had his four children stay with him on weekends because he had nowhere else to go.

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96% Upvoted

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Consequences or not he should have enough to survive off of. The way these things are calculated is based on a version of the US that doesn't exist any more.

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u/Slymook 18h ago

Not saying he should starve in the streets, but as long as we’re all on the same page that he created a situation where it’s pretty much guaranteed he will require significant support from others.

I wanna have kids and live a middle class lifestyle and am working hard towards that end and might just make it to that point before im too old to do that. I’m not about to just start having a bunch of kids and put those kids in a bad situation and make others have to provide for me.

I don’t think we should live in a world where having kids is only for the rich, but shit man 4 kids

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u/WillowPtar_Migan 17h ago

He may have worked towards it just like you are currently, and then the relationship turned sour. Who knows. It could happen to you or me some day, shit happens in life.

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u/astralchanterelle 16h ago

All it takes is your wife/girlfriend deciding she hates you one day, takes the kids, and you're screwed. Courts side with the mom most of the time, that's just how it is, doesn't matter if you're a great dad or not

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u/MyFiteSong 13h ago

That's not how it works.

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u/RatioIntelligent420 11h ago

you're completely right that fathers usually don't want equal custody. in my personal experience and in every other statistic or story i've heard they usually settle for or want whatever is a bit easiest, like weekends or summers. but i have heard of fathers with more or full custody (david sheff the author had his son during the school year and he flew to his moms for summers) and i have met a father who had his child taken from him. i'm from a mother-prefered state, and she was moving far away so the child was kept with her but because of the distance, her feelings toward him, child support that he couldn't really afford, he couldn't see that child at all. but he told me about them, and how he missed them, how when they got a bit older he hoped to reach out to them because the mother had blocked him on everything. it's rare. i don't know exactly why, probably the patriarchy, women usually end up with the brunt of childcare and expenses (unless the father is actually willing to pay child support) like you're right but we really don't know enough about this janitor guy. he literally could've been fine and great with his lady and 4 kids and then she decided she wasn't happy or maybe she genuinely did cheat. maybe she didn't! but it's just possible that he did work to have those 4 kids and that was ripped out from under him, it's rare but it can happen, and if he's making a little apartment for them so he can see them despite being homeless i mean -- my dad hasn't seen me in like 5 years 😅

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u/astralchanterelle 11h ago

That's how it works.

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u/CheeseDreams98 13h ago

Even in this story the mother did not 'take the kids'.

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u/FilthyThanksgiving 14h ago

This is a myth. Family court overwhelmingly favors the father. The reason more women end up with custody is bc a non zero number of fathers literally do not want custody

When men ask for custody, they usually get it

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u/astralchanterelle 14h ago

that is 100% not true.

Also, I'm not even saying it's wrong of the courts to favor the women, but that is how it goes,

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u/premiumPLUM 13h ago

I always heard the opposite and that the courts favor ladies was a myth, but who knows.

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u/astralchanterelle 11h ago

It's not a myth

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u/premiumPLUM 11h ago

Whatever

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u/MyFiteSong 13h ago

The vast majority of custody is decided outside the courtroom, by the parents. Fathers don't want equal custody.

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u/astralchanterelle 11h ago

You didn't even read your AI search results correctly. You should maybe use the internet the old fashioned way if you want to learn anything.

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u/MyFiteSong 9h ago

This doesn't mean anything from someone who gets their info from podcastbros on their blogs.

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u/astralchanterelle 9h ago

What? lol Why would it matter who it came from, anyways? Research the old way, the proper way, don't use AI like a dunce.

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u/aramis34143 16h ago

"But if bad or inconvenient things can just coincidentally happen to otherwise decent people, then how can I sit in moral judgement of the downtrodden? Come on, buddy, I need this."

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u/Slymook 13h ago

You guys are all being so immature about it, it’s not even about judging this guy. The commenter I commented on made it seem like this is a societal issue.

It is an actual logistical thing that we can’t all just have 4 kids in our teens and early 20s when we’re not financially stable and just expect things to work out.

I know it’s a wealth inequality thing at the top too and I know politically we have issues in the US, but we can’t act like in this case it’s a societal issue only.

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u/Joshua_ABBACAB_1312 17h ago

Four teenage kids in his mid 30's. He was likely a teenager himself when some or all of them were conceived.

Despite consequences, the fact that he and everybody else deserves a roof over their heads is indisputable. You can say he made his bed. You can say it's his fault. You can go down any road but if it takes you to a place where you think he should be unhoused, you made a wrong turn along the way and should turn back.

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u/Slymook 13h ago

That’s the conclusion I’m at as well. It’s not punching down on the guy to point out that he created a situation that will require significant help from social programs. There are others acting like this is purely a societal issue.

There are no public policies that could allow for all of us to barely make any money and all have 4 kids, while still maintaining a quality of life we all believe should be the minimum (roof over our head, clean water, food, healthcare).

It’s a societal issue that this guy doesn’t have a roof over his head but it is an individually caused problem to a degree, but yes we all deserve basic human decency.

There is a nuanced convo to be had, but I am seeing a lot of social justice warriors act like this is purely societal.

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u/notalem0n 17h ago

Life does not always go according to plan

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u/SasparillaTango 14h ago

but as long as we’re all on the same page that he created a situation where it’s pretty much guaranteed he will require significant support from others.

What situation is that exactly? paying child support should bankrupt you?

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u/Slymook 13h ago

I’m not saying that though

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u/Quite_Likes_Hormuz 16h ago

Having kids is now considered a middle class lifestyle...

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u/Threedawg 17h ago

Cool, its his fault, you established that.

Why is that an okay reason to force him to be homeless?!

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u/nalaloveslumpy 16h ago

That's not the reason he's forced to be homeless. The reason is you can't have staff living in the school. Much less ones who were doing it secretly for months with their teenage kids on the weekends.

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u/Threedawg 16h ago

Yes, congrats, you made it to the same conclusion that the rest of us, our society is fucked for allowing this situation to exist.

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u/Slacker_The_Dog 16h ago

I'm glad I'm not the only person thinking this. I felt like I was taking crazy pills.

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u/Varsity_Reviews 16h ago

Well for one a school isn’t an adequate living space. Mostly because it lacks the proper facilities for living space, but also, What if that area wasn’t in the best condition and he fell or hurt himself while off the clock? Nows caused damage to the school and his body and I highly doubt insurance would cover that. For two he’s not paying for the extra electricity he’s using. Fridges, especially mini fridges, use a lot of power.

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u/Threedawg 16h ago

Yes, congrats, you made it to the same conclusion that the rest of us, our society is fucked for allowing this situation to exist.

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u/Varsity_Reviews 16h ago

Rules exist for a reason. You can cry all you want, at the end of the day we can’t just start turning random places into houses because someone isn’t making enough money for an apartment

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u/Threedawg 16h ago

Who are you fighting with? No one is saying its okay to live in a school.

Its fucked he had nowhere else to go. Thats the issue.

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u/SayWhatever12 16h ago

Forcing him to be homeless? If you had someone living in your attic, I wouldn’t believe that you would be OK with them staying there and that removing them is YOU causing THEM to be homeless.

If any one of them got hurt on that property they’re gonna have to be responsible for it. If there was a fire or other friends invited…the list goes on. The solution wasn’t for them to keep living in the school.

My grandparents had a lot of children they ended up having to have two jobs each and my grandpa actually had three jobs. Perhaps in order to get out of this situation he’ll have to double up on jobs on the weekdays. Children are expensive.

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u/Threedawg 16h ago

Bragging about how your family was exploited.

Weird flex but okay.

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u/Ok-Chest-7932 15h ago

No the law created that situation because the government wants to maximise the amount it can take. If he had sole custody he'd be paying what he could actually afford, as everyone else does. It's only the broken child support system that is forcing him to pay more than that.

If you really need child support above what is affordable then pay for it with general taxation.

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u/Charming_Account_351 14h ago

The problem is the child support if it was garnishing so much that he was unable to live it most likely means the mother was not working and fully using the child support to fuel her lifestyle too.

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u/Reynolds531IPA 10h ago

Isn’t necessarily his fault that his baby momma decided to end their relationship. It might be. But not necessarily.

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u/NefariousnessOld7737 2h ago

Not saying he should starve in the streets

Well you are saying that. Very American view. He is one pissed off uncle away from being homeless and has no job. So no child support. Win win for everybody, the kids in particular!

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u/Glynwys 40m ago

I don’t think we should live in a world where having kids is only for the rich, but shit man 4 kids

And this is the largest issue with the political folks and the rich folks bitching about declining birth rates. The middle class is already shrinking year after year, to the point where a decade from now there is going to be no middle class. It'll be low/poverty class and the upper/rich class. So they're already wanting to consign new kids as lower class/poverty class with little avanue to escape from poverty. But then on top of that, they're ensuring that raising even a single kid is more than a lower class family can financially support. When housing just by itself eats up 50% of a family's monthly expenses, no one can afford a kid.

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u/sistemy_ 14h ago

if you aren't wealthy by now you never will be unless you luck out with gambling, but hey at least you get to punch down on this guy i guess?

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u/Slacker_The_Dog 18h ago

Mom doesn't appear anywhere in this comment.

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u/Rogersgirl75 18h ago

Why mention mom? She’s doing her part by raising the kids almost full time. Her responsibility would be toward her children, not to an ex.

She is the teens’ primary caretaker, and Father gets them on “some weekends” per the article.

This means that he owes the mother financial compensation. The money is for the children- to provide his share of the expenses for the 4 children he helped create. The money isn’t just a bonus for mom, it’s his responsibility to help buy things that are necessary for keeping their children alive and well.

The mother doesn’t owe this man housing, nor should she refuse to take child support from him even if it hurts him, because then the kids suffer.

I do feel horrible for this man. I wish they would’ve employed him as a “nighttime security guard” so he could’ve stayed, as it seemed like he wasn’t hurting anybody.

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u/veringo 17h ago

I'm not sure I do, honestly. This is the kind of article that deliberately leaves out information so sexist people online can fill in the blanks about how the evil wife or court system always harm the true victim, the man. Reddit loves this type of shit.

I've got very little doubt that more details about this situation would make this guy much less sympathetic.

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u/Slacker_The_Dog 17h ago

He can't pay child support if he can't afford housing for himself. You can have a warrant issued for your arrest for failure to pay child support. So now he is homeless and a fugitive. How can he pay child support now? How does any of this help the children? Maybe we shouldn't be punishing men for having children.

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u/shmittenrow 17h ago

How is having a parent financially support minor children he chose to have and doesn't actually take care of "punishment for a man"? It should all be on mom to do everything because..?

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u/Slacker_The_Dog 17h ago

The punishment is him being ground into the dirt while working a full time job. Why is this allowed to happen?

We treat men as garbage and then act surprised when they snap and commit acts of violence.

I do not think the mom should be responsible for everything, but they should not be taking an amount of money from him which makes him unable to afford housing. He deserves to have his dignity as much as anyone else.

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u/shmittenrow 17h ago

Paying child support is not a punishment.. men choosing to be violent and predatory is their own fault.. you are not right in the head.

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u/Rogersgirl75 17h ago

No, men have to be violent, don’t you see! They’re so oppressed! They have to take responsibility for their actions sometimes and that’s just horrible.

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u/Slacker_The_Dog 17h ago

Oh I can see a problem that causes another huge issue in our society so there is something wrong with me. Ok.

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u/shmittenrow 17h ago

Honestly, I think there should be a publicly available list of people who think like you do so we, particularly women, know to stay away from you

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u/Island_Slut69 17h ago

Thankfully that whole scenario is a made up one in your mind and didn't actually happen to him. Do you want us to pity him over an imaginary sob story? Like, where were you going with this fairytale?

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u/oorza 17h ago

No one is punishing men for having children. Even in your ridiculous straw men scenario, what's happening is the man is being held responsible for the lives he created, and then there are consequences when he fails to uphold his responsibilities. He gets punished for being a deadbeat who fails to take care of his children, not for having them in the first place.

Whether fear of punishment is an effective motivational tool or not is a different discussion; most of our criminal justice dogma is built on top of the assumption that it is. Under that assumption, penalties for not paying child support encourage parents to actually pay it. Very rarely, if ever, does someone wind up going to jail for failure to provide for their children if they're actually making attempts at it. Out here in the real world, when men go to jail for child support related causes, it's because they did shit like got drunk and got fired, failed to show up for job interviews, or otherwise demonstrate to the court that they're actively continuing to make deadbeat choices.

You obviously came here looking to pick a stupid fight that's not rooted in an accurate perception of reality. I'd suggest you stay away from manosphere content if you ever actually want to be a happy, whole man who is satisfied with his station in the world. I say this as a man who is that. The men who say shit like you just did receive nothing but scorn and pity from men who are actually man enough to take care of business, even when that business is fixing yourself. Don't come with that stupid little boy shit and expect people to think you're a man.

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u/MotoMongrel 17h ago

That’s because she’s providing a full-time home for the kids.

Imagine a world in which child support wasn’t an issue because men didn’t have children they weren’t ready to support.

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u/Shallaai 17h ago

Imagine a world where people lived within their means

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u/MotoMongrel 15h ago

So you believe multi-millionaires should be taxed above 50%?

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u/Slacker_The_Dog 17h ago

Imagine a world in which woman didn't have children they weren't ready to support.

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u/curiousgeorgeasks 17h ago

This comment is essentially the exact same as the one above, except replace “women” with “men”.

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u/Slacker_The_Dog 17h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/QX12smfZtj8dRBlVaE

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u/PeaceSoft 17h ago

"I don't think we should, but I think he should" don't be a dumb asshole

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u/DickRiculous 17h ago

Then he needs to earn more. The school can’t just create more budget out of thin air.

That means either more hours or another job if more hours aren’t available. There’s no world in which a janitor gets paid more just because he “needs more” than equally competent peers who would have been equally well suited for the same job.

I’m not sure if there is any kind of undue hardship pathway to lower child support payments but it’s those payments that are making him unable to afford housing so the fault lies with him, his ex spouse, and the government.

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u/Jeedeye 14h ago

"then he needs to earn more." By golly I think you just solved poverty! Get this person in office right away!

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u/DickRiculous 12h ago

You can always tell who replied before reading the whole comment.. or who didn’t understand it..

Sorry about your learning disability.

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u/Jeedeye 12h ago

I read all of your comment. Doesn't stop the fact that you single handedly fixed poverty! Not sure why you're so upset over this amazing feat that no one else has ever thought to solve before. Please solve world hunger next.

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u/Porridge_Cat 12h ago

Jobs should pay people enough to live. Not just afford the bare necessities , but actually live.

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u/d333aab 3h ago

my living involves buying 1oz of cocaine a week

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u/Leaningthemoon 17h ago

In a socialist world, he may not get paid more, but he wouldn’t need as much of his income to take care of things like housing, healthcare, and food. If he needed help, he would have it. The billionaires would have less, so would the millionaires, but they’d still be wealthy and could look down on others like they seem to love doing. It works for everyone.

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u/Valara0kar 16h ago

Thats no a socialist world.... that social-democratic/welfare world.

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u/DickRiculous 15h ago

We do not live in a socialist world, so you are welcome to join us back in reality for a real discussion any time you so choose. No one is arguing the world shouldn't be a fairer and more equitable place. The people who would argue that generally don't waste time commenting on reddit. But it just isn't the world we live in today.

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u/Devils_Advocate-69 17h ago

5 people on one paycheck. The dude definitely made some bad life choices.

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u/tagwag 16h ago

Look, he could be a shitty person, no doubt it’s a huge possibility. But in the off chance he’s not, isn’t it kind of messed up he can’t afford to live? If he’s just a decent guy who can’t afford to live, it’s a big issue that he can’t afford to live. We shouldn’t have that be a possibility, and it shouldn’t be used as a social punishment. It’s one of the arguments against the death penalty, if somehow the individual put to death happens to be innocent, it means you killed an innocent person.

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u/Devils_Advocate-69 15h ago

He can apply for government assistance

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u/TacTurtle 13h ago

And a recalculation of child support based on financial hardship.

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u/EstablishmentLate532 15h ago

Agreed. We can't expect every job to accommodate single income families of any size, especially jobs with as low of a barrier to entry as custodians. This is what government assistance is supposed to address.

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u/FilthyThanksgiving 14h ago

Wtf? Everyone deserves a living wage

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u/EstablishmentLate532 14h ago

There is a difference between a living wage for an individual, a family of 5, and a family of 12. You can recognize that a person deserves a living wage without saying that every job should be able to support a family of 12.

If you don't define family size, "everyone deserves a living wage" becomes meaningless.

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u/EstablishmentLate532 15h ago

How many kids should a single paycheck support? Some people have 5-10 kids. Should every job be required to pay enough to support families of those size with a single income?

At some point, “a worker should be able to live on their wages” has to be distinguished from “a worker’s wages must cover every financial obligation they’ve chosen to take on.”

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u/Etryia 16h ago

He shouldn't have four kids then? I'll be the asshole and say that having 4 kids on a low income job does make you a shitty person.

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u/NN11ght 4h ago

Paying child support/being a single dad isn't even good proof of someone being a dead beat dad.

Sure there are lots of dead beats who pay child support but there are just as many dead beat moms who sadly abuse the system to leech money off of men they used and dropped when it fancied them

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u/ihaxr 16h ago

7 if he's dating someone.... Him + gf, ex wife, 4 kids

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u/Lnnam 16h ago

If he is a custodian he certainly wasn’t funding anyone’s lifestyle, you should look up the minimum amount of child support.

And no alimony that is for sure.

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u/Devils_Advocate-69 15h ago

lol

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u/Admins_are_creeps 16h ago

Trusting a woman is usually a bad life choice.

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u/subs_on_a_sailboat 16h ago

How dare he procreate in this economy

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u/Shakewhenbadtoo 18h ago

From personal experience, the system calculates based on gross up to a cap, with a % increase per kid. That % is almost nothing per child when they are all one Dads. Child support isnt what broke him. I bet its the alimoney. The system is structured to incentivize multiple baby Daddies as each is maxed per child based on yhe income of each Dad.

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u/DrFrankSaysAgain 19h ago

Being a janitor has never paid enough to support 4 kids comfortably. Never ever.

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u/FullofContradictions 18h ago

My best friend's dad was actually a janitor when we were growing up. Her mom was a community art teacher & did janitorial work in the summers.

They had a small house and an old car. Kept food in the fridge for three kids + a cat (not the same as 4 kids, I know). But they also smoked like chimneys which has always been heavily taxed in my state. Bet they could've done a 4th if they wanted to.

Did they seem comfortable? Not really. Things were always tight. But the kids were fed, clothed, and managed to get a fair bit of fun stuff like movie rentals and video games.

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u/Acceptable-Bat4534 18h ago

Yea but thats a 2 person househould with two workers.

That means double checks, not really the same scenario

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u/FullofContradictions 17h ago

The scenario everyone in this thread is talking about is a janitor paying child support. Theoretically not solo providing for 4 kids. If mom is maintaining a home, I bet we can assume she has some sort of income.

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u/Acceptable-Bat4534 17h ago

Yea but their income isnt being pooled together. His income is going to the mom and he isnt getting any money/resources out of it.

Your example is two people income working together, so the househould net is more then just a janitors pay

So your example doesnt really show that someone can just live off a janitor wage, sincs his wife is pooling her money with him as a community teacher.

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u/Early-Light-864 18h ago

That was supporting one household. They certainly couldn't have afforded a whole other apartment, right?

People saying "divorce, leave them, run" whatever never account for how much poorer you're going to be. It's a lot. You will be a lot poorer.

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u/pm_me_fibonaccis 19h ago

You are functionally illiterate.

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u/happyoaktree 19h ago

Must be American.
Source: am American

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u/JacksLack_ofSurprise 18h ago

You are big lying right now dude

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u/Twinsies620 18h ago

Oh it ABSOLUTELY has and DOES - especially in a school, and even more so in a public school. Being a school janitor is not a minimum wage job.

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u/DrFrankSaysAgain 17h ago

Why dont you look up janitorial jobs in your area and see if you could support a family on that wage only. Oh, and subtract child support payments as well.

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u/Admins_are_creeps 16h ago

Single mommy support! Child support and alimony laws are so archaic and primitive along with the courts being so anti father is the reason I have never gotten married, or had kids.

You never read stories about divorced moms living with crippling child support.

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u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 18h ago

Well he’s alive so it sounds like he has enough to survive off.

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u/Themodsarecuntz 18h ago

May you find yourself needing to live above a high school auditorium and therefore develop a small amount of understanding and empathy for yourself because you arent capable of having it for another.

Financial ruin is closer than you might think.

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u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 18h ago

My point is the push for “a living wage” or “having enough to survive” makes no sense because these people obviously are alive.

Yall need to define better what you want a janitor to make to be happy.

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u/Themodsarecuntz 18h ago

Im not surprised you dont understand what a living wage is.

After all he is still alive right? He must have a living wage if he is alive.

A living wage is the minimum income necessary for a worker to afford a basic yet decent standard of living, covering essentials like food, housing, healthcare, and transportation without needing government assistance

Now that you know the definition try to apply it to real life.

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u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 18h ago

Does it count if healthcare is provided by the government like in most countries?

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u/Themodsarecuntz 18h ago

See now youre splitting hairs about what is needed for a person to have a living wage.

Its not that complicated if you actually care about other people.

I dont care about you though so we are done here.

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u/pm_me_fibonaccis 18h ago

Do you really think just because you aren't dead that means you have enough to survive?

Jesus Fuck am I worried about the future of humanity.

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u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 18h ago

I mean literally yes that’s what it means

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u/pm_me_fibonaccis 18h ago

It does not. Hope this helps.

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u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 18h ago

It really doesn’t help actually

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u/the_real_cutty_flam 18h ago

Unfortunately that’s not how it works, buddy.

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u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 18h ago

Why unfortunately?

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u/the_real_cutty_flam 18h ago

Hm. Based off your other comments, not going to argue with ignorant. As someone else said, you don’t seem to care about people.

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u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 18h ago

I honestly thought you thought it was unfortunate that he was alive.